Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Can you put me to sleep? Why ER physicians have to say no.

Rada Jones, MD
Physician
April 2, 2019
Share
Tweet
Share

The heavy young man curled on his left side is in the ER for a pain in his backside. The sweaty blue dragon on his chest smells like fear.

“It’s an abscess. I’ll have to open it. It’s gonna hurt.”

“Can you put me to sleep? I hate pain.”

I can. Should I? Remember Michael Jackson? I do.

His neck would make a Hereford bull proud; he’s missing a chin but he’s got a 7-month sized pregnant belly. Intubating him would be a challenge on a good day. This isn’t one of those since he needs to lay face-down for the procedure.

“Sorry, no can do. Putting you to sleep is a bad idea. You may never wake up again.”

The 40-year-old grandma with purple lipstick and a week of left-hand numbness has a hint of beer on her breath. Her doctor sent her to get an MRI. She wants it now, or my Press Ganeys will plummet. So will my paycheck. I’ll have to live on Cheerios for a month. They aren’t low carb.

“I can’t get into that machine. You’ll have to put me to sleep.”

I don’t think so, my friend. The MRI is a bad place to have a code. If you stop breathing while you’re in there, your numbness may be gone forever but so will the rest of you. They won’t even notice that you’re dead. Put you to sleep? Not me, not today.

Then there’s this cute chubby toddler. She hasn’t used her left hand since she tripped and her mom held her up. She’s playing on Mom’s phone. “Her elbow’s out. It’s called nursemaid’s elbow. I’ll have to twist her arm to get it back. She’s gonna scream like a banshee, but it’ll be over in seconds.”

Mom chokes. “Can you put her to sleep?” I feel for you, I really do, but the answer is no. It’s too risky to put her to sleep for a 5-second procedure she’ll never remember to save you this pain. So, sorry. No.

The old folks are the hardest to say no to. They want no part of the life that’s left to them, whether it’s in their own lonely home or at the nursing home where the kids dropped them off. They’re not demented — I can’t remember a single demented patient asking me to kill them. They’re just too weak to kill themselves.

“Can you put me to sleep so that I never wake up? Please? I’m 87, I’ve got nothing left to live for. My wife died last year, and the kids are gone. I’m all alone. I can’t even pee by myself. I hate my life; I hate the nursing home; you can’t send me back there, please, you wouldn’t do that to a dog!

ADVERTISEMENT

You’re right sir, I wouldn’t do that to a dog, but you’re not a dog. You are a human being and therefore entitled to an unspecified amount of suffering, an endless amount of loneliness, and the privilege of rotting in your urine for as long as it takes you to die in a medically acceptable manner. I can’t take that away from you. Not only would I lose my license, which is important to me, but I’d end up in jail — remember Dr. Kevorkian?

As for the dog, you are correct. It so happens that I have an old dog. Her flowing lupine leaps that I so loved are a thing of the past. She now falls over whenever her back legs fail. Cataracts cloud her loving eyes, and she struggles to find her frisbee. She often needs my touch to remember who and where she is. I watch her. I listen to her. “Are you loving your food?” I cook for three since dog food is for dogs, not for her. Tonight its chicken breast with corn and peaches. “Are you still enjoying your short walk and your even shorter swim? Do you still greet me every morning like I’m the sun, telling me that it’s gonna be a wonderful day since we’re together? Are you still enjoying life?”

When the answer will be no — any day now — I’ll do for her what I wish somebody will do for me. I’ll hold her lovingly and help her through the rainbow bridge as I’m dying inside.

As for you, my old, lonely, hopeless friend, I can’t help you. Unless I’m ready to give up my profession and my freedom, I can’t help you. In America, mercy killing is killing.

Please, please get your advanced directives and talk to your proxy, will you? And never sign up for DNI without DNR.

Hang in, my friend. The end is near.

Rada Jones is an emergency physician and can be reached at her self-titled site, RadaJonesMD, and on Twitter @jonesrada. She is the author of Overdose.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Physicians: It's time to let go of perfection

April 2, 2019 Kevin 0
…
Next

"Hey, Sweetie." When a physician’s #MeToo story involves a patient

April 3, 2019 Kevin 19
…

Tagged as: Emergency Medicine

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Physicians: It's time to let go of perfection
Next Post >
"Hey, Sweetie." When a physician’s #MeToo story involves a patient

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Rada Jones, MD

  • The surprising struggles of retirement no one warned you about

    Rada Jones, MD
  • Discover the surprising lessons of being a terrible patient: How it made me a better doctor

    Rada Jones, MD
  • A physician’s guide to surviving COVID winter

    Rada Jones, MD

Related Posts

  • Are patients using social media to attack physicians?

    David R. Stukus, MD
  • The risk physicians take when going on social media

    Anonymous
  • Beware of pseudoscience: The desperate need for physicians on social media

    Valerie A. Jones, MD
  • When physicians are cyberbullied: an interview with ZDoggMD

    Monique Tello, MD
  • Surprising and unlikely rewards of social media engagement by physicians

    Lisa Chan, MD
  • Physicians who don’t play the social media game may be left behind

    Xrayvsn, MD

More in Physician

  • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

    Curtis G. Graham, MD
  • The physician who turned burnout into a mission for change

    Jessie Mahoney, MD
  • Time theft: the unseen harm of abusive oversight

    Kayvan Haddadan, MD
  • Why more doctors are leaving clinical practice and how it helps health care

    Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA
  • Harassment and overreach are driving physicians to quit

    Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD
  • Why starting with why can transform your medical practice

    Neil Baum, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • Harassment and overreach are driving physicians to quit

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Why peer support can save lives in high-pressure medical careers

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
    • When a medical office sublease turns into a legal nightmare

      Ralph Messo, DO | Physician
    • Addressing menstrual health inequities in adolescents

      Callia Georgoulis | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

      Curtis G. Graham, MD | Physician
    • Clinical ghosts and why they haunt our exam rooms

      Kara Wada, MD | Conditions
    • High blood pressure’s hidden impact on kidney health in older adults

      Edmond Kubi Appiah, MPH | Conditions
    • Deep transcranial magnetic stimulation for depression [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How declining MMR vaccination rates put future generations at risk

      Ambika Sharma, Onyi Oligbo, and Katrina Green, MD | Conditions
    • The physician who turned burnout into a mission for change

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 8 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • Harassment and overreach are driving physicians to quit

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Why peer support can save lives in high-pressure medical careers

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
    • When a medical office sublease turns into a legal nightmare

      Ralph Messo, DO | Physician
    • Addressing menstrual health inequities in adolescents

      Callia Georgoulis | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

      Curtis G. Graham, MD | Physician
    • Clinical ghosts and why they haunt our exam rooms

      Kara Wada, MD | Conditions
    • High blood pressure’s hidden impact on kidney health in older adults

      Edmond Kubi Appiah, MPH | Conditions
    • Deep transcranial magnetic stimulation for depression [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How declining MMR vaccination rates put future generations at risk

      Ambika Sharma, Onyi Oligbo, and Katrina Green, MD | Conditions
    • The physician who turned burnout into a mission for change

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Can you put me to sleep? Why ER physicians have to say no.
8 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...