Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Why doctors make bad patients

Rada Jones, MD
Physician
August 8, 2019
Share
Tweet
Share

I’m a doctor. And, like most medical professionals, I’m a bad patient.

Two years after my last appointment, I got a CTJ, “Come to Jesus” from my doctor.

I called his office for a form. I needed proof that I don’t have tertiary syphilis. For my Thai visa.

Why tertiary syphilis, as opposed to HIV, cholera, lepers or bubonic plague? I don’t know. That’s the power of bureaucracies. They don’t have to make sense. They make the rules.

My doctor wasn’t happy. “Come get seen or get lost,” he said. Or something to that effect. Politely wrapped.

I went.

Good news: I didn’t have tertiary syphilis.

Bad news: I didn’t have a colonoscopy either. At 57, I’m seven years late. No recent mammogram either. As for the PAP smear …

Whatever you think, I’m not totally negligent. I brush my teeth. I floss. I pay attention to what I eat. Too much, maybe. I work out. I don’t smoke. Anything.

But I live and work in a small community in the North Country.  I know every doctor, including the vets. I work daily with the OB/GYNs and the GIs. Nice people. Down to earth, outdoorsy, mostly easy-going. I love seeing them in the ER, though they seldom feel the same way. We commiserate about the weather. We bash the administrators’ latest move. We’re friends on Facebook. I know the names of their dogs, the size of their wives, and how many cocktails they had before posting.

I like them, but a colonoscopy? That’s a level of carnal knowledge I’m not up for.

I don’t know about you, but I find it easier to show my privates to people I don’t know than to my friends. Having them examine my insides – and my outsides – is not my idea of fun. Not like it’s life and death, people! Yes, I see them in the ER. I examine them. I even intubated a few. But they didn’t have a choice! They were dying!

My doctor got it. He didn’t care.

“You need preventive care. You’re way past due for colon cancer screening. And pap smear.”

ADVERTISEMENT

“But I’ve never had a bad pap smear! And my social life is not worth mentioning!”

He nodded, smiled, and referred me across the lake, in the next state, for GYN. He got me Cologard.

What’s Cologard? It’s a test for colon cancer that doesn’t require a colonoscopy. You provide a sample (of you know what) in the comfort of your own home, then send it for DNA testing.

I can do that, I thought.

Yesterday was Christmas in July. The mailman brought me a Doximity plaque proclaiming me “The most entertaining author,” and a cardboard box of Cologard with multiple interrelated plastic parts and 80 pages of bilingual instructions.

Did you ever buy furniture from Ikea? It’s DIY. Comes in boxes. The instructions are more entertaining than straightforward. My success rate is 1:3. Three assemblies to get one right. Cologuard must use the same writers.

Instructions started with Step 6: Label your samples.

That’s jumping the gun a little, I thought. But I didn’t let that deter me.

Next brochure: How to return your kit. Four pages later, I got enlightened: Weekend pooping is a no-no. The package needs to be sent immediately and tested within 48  hours.

Further explorations brought me to another unputdownable 60-page brochure. Indications, contraindications, warning, precautions, test interpretation, risks, and more. The style was crisp, the images graphic, the protagonist daring.

Twelve pages into it, I got to Step 1: Check the expiration date, then to Step 2: Prepare to collect a stool sample. How to assemble your Cologard kit and avoid pooping next to it. Or something to that effect.

I pulled the heavy zipper bag out of the box to remove the contents. It wouldn’t come. I pulled harder. Nope. I turned it upside down and shook it. It was stuck.

I tore it off the box. Then I saw it, right there.  Leave the plastic bag and the white tray inside the box.

I pushed it back to cover the tear, and I engrossed myself in lecture. Half an hour later, I’m an expert in Cologuard. I can’t wait to test my new expertise, once the weekend is over.

The pap-smear, you say? Seriously? I hope he forgets about it!

But that got me thinking. Am I foolish to avoid preventive care? I wouldn’t let my patients do that. Am I risking my health? My life maybe? Why?

Is it because I’m a doctor? Do I secretly believe that my medical knowledge will keep me safe? That I’ll know it if my body goes rogue?

Or is it just the opposite? Do I know enough about medicine, including how little we really know, to lose respect for the science?

There’s so much we don’t know. Then, half of what we do know is wrong. We just don’t know which half.  From blood-letting to smoking and coffee, the only constant in medicine is change. This here is just the latest.

Or is it the NNS, the number needed to screen, that makes me hopeless and fatalistic? 25,000 to prevent one death from melanoma. 1374 (every five years) for colon cancer, 2451 for mammograms. They cost money and time. They have risks. Many risks. False positives, exposing you to more studies. Colon perforation. Infection. Bleeding. Sedation gone bad. More.

Is that why I’m a bad patient? Maybe. But I’m not an exception. Most medical professionals are bad patients.

We should take better care of ourselves. We should sleep more. Drink less. Avoid stress. Get our colonoscopies and our mammograms. Ask for help when we need it. We’d live better and longer.

But we don’t. Why?

I hope I remember that next time my patients are difficult and noncompliant.

In the meantime, I’ll go look for some essential oils. Anybody knows how to grow aloe?

Rada Jones is an emergency physician and can be reached at her self-titled site, RadaJonesMD, and on Twitter @jonesrada. She is the author of Overdose.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Someone who is both a recalcitrant skeptic and an ardent proponent of childhood vaccines

August 8, 2019 Kevin 0
…
Next

A physician's advice on extra cash flow

August 8, 2019 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: Gastroenterology, Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Someone who is both a recalcitrant skeptic and an ardent proponent of childhood vaccines
Next Post >
A physician's advice on extra cash flow

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Rada Jones, MD

  • The surprising struggles of retirement no one warned you about

    Rada Jones, MD
  • Discover the surprising lessons of being a terrible patient: How it made me a better doctor

    Rada Jones, MD
  • A physician’s guide to surviving COVID winter

    Rada Jones, MD

Related Posts

  • Here are some things that patients wish doctors knew

    R. Lynn Barnett
  • We are warriors: doctors and patients

    Michele Luckenbaugh
  • Are patients using social media to attack physicians?

    David R. Stukus, MD
  • Doctors and patients should be wary of health care mega-mergers

    Linda Girgis, MD
  • A perk of Medicare for all: More time for doctors and patients

    Rani Marx, PhD, MPH and James G. Kahn, PhD
  • Doctors and patients continue to search through the overgrown forest of corporate health care

    Michele Luckenbaugh

More in Physician

  • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

    Curtis G. Graham, MD
  • The physician who turned burnout into a mission for change

    Jessie Mahoney, MD
  • Time theft: the unseen harm of abusive oversight

    Kayvan Haddadan, MD
  • Why more doctors are leaving clinical practice and how it helps health care

    Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA
  • Harassment and overreach are driving physicians to quit

    Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD
  • Why starting with why can transform your medical practice

    Neil Baum, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • Harassment and overreach are driving physicians to quit

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Why peer support can save lives in high-pressure medical careers

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
    • When a medical office sublease turns into a legal nightmare

      Ralph Messo, DO | Physician
    • Addressing menstrual health inequities in adolescents

      Callia Georgoulis | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

      Curtis G. Graham, MD | Physician
    • Clinical ghosts and why they haunt our exam rooms

      Kara Wada, MD | Conditions
    • High blood pressure’s hidden impact on kidney health in older adults

      Edmond Kubi Appiah, MPH | Conditions
    • Deep transcranial magnetic stimulation for depression [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How declining MMR vaccination rates put future generations at risk

      Ambika Sharma, Onyi Oligbo, and Katrina Green, MD | Conditions
    • The physician who turned burnout into a mission for change

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 3 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • Harassment and overreach are driving physicians to quit

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Why peer support can save lives in high-pressure medical careers

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
    • When a medical office sublease turns into a legal nightmare

      Ralph Messo, DO | Physician
    • Addressing menstrual health inequities in adolescents

      Callia Georgoulis | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

      Curtis G. Graham, MD | Physician
    • Clinical ghosts and why they haunt our exam rooms

      Kara Wada, MD | Conditions
    • High blood pressure’s hidden impact on kidney health in older adults

      Edmond Kubi Appiah, MPH | Conditions
    • Deep transcranial magnetic stimulation for depression [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How declining MMR vaccination rates put future generations at risk

      Ambika Sharma, Onyi Oligbo, and Katrina Green, MD | Conditions
    • The physician who turned burnout into a mission for change

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Why doctors make bad patients
3 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...