Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Not only do the worst need love, the best are made better by offering it

Edwin Leap, MD
Physician
February 14, 2020
Share
Tweet
Share

I once saw an older gentleman who was mentally impaired from birth. A hard enough blow, he had slowly, inexorably drifted into dementia.  He cut his head in a fall, suffering the ravages of gravity as so many do every day, every night.

He was Caucasian.  His full-time care-giver was African-American.  That young man was the only person who could calm the angry, profane mood swings of his increasingly difficult, neurologically devastated charge.

Oddly, ironically, the old man spewed angry a constant stream of racial epithets at the young person who appeared to care the most for him in the whole world.  The patient, gentle young man simply said, “Now, calm down.  We’ll go back to your room soon.”  He laughed and shook his head.

I don’t know what he felt inside. Perhaps he was daily traumatized by the things the old man said.

But if he was, it was not visible. All I saw was the God-breathed kindness of one healthy, capable man towards the brokenness, vulnerability, and child-like dependence of another.

As we struggle to understand how to view hatred, it may be useful to remember this tale from time to time.  And to consider that in some ways, the hatred we see and hear comes from people not so different from that frustrated, confused old soul.  But where his brain was disordered, in others, their moral sense is disordered; they have stories filled with wounds and memories of dark lessons from other unkind people.

Do we excuse hatred out of hand for that reason?  No.  But maybe we can shake our heads and smile inside, if only a little, when we consider that even the world is populated with many people who are hard to love; even hard to like.

And that not only do the worst need love, the best are made better by offering it.

Edwin Leap is an emergency physician who blogs at edwinleap.com and is the author of the Practice Test and Life in Emergistan. 

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Numb: How I survived as a physician

February 14, 2020 Kevin 2
…
Next

Intelligence does not protect against the worst of life's cruelties

February 15, 2020 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: Emergency Medicine

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Numb: How I survived as a physician
Next Post >
Intelligence does not protect against the worst of life's cruelties

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Edwin Leap, MD

  • The emergency department crisis: Why patient boarding is dangerous

    Edwin Leap, MD
  • Hospitals at a breaking point: Lack of staff and resources leave ERs in chaos

    Edwin Leap, MD
  • Trapped in a cauldron of suffering, medical staff are weary

    Edwin Leap, MD

Related Posts

  • To Paxil, with love

    Jennifer L. Barkin, PhD
  • A love letter to patients

    Marcie Costello
  • A physician’s addiction to social media

    Amanda Xi, MD
  • All’s fair in love and medical school

    Jennifer Udom
  • A love-hate relationship with the resume-guided voice

    Lauren Joseph
  • Love something other than medicine? It’s OK.

    Mary Barber

More in Physician

  • The dying man who gave me flowers changed how I see care

    Augusta Uwah, MD
  • How market forces fracture millennial physicians’ careers

    Shannon Meron, MD
  • Unity in primary care: Why I believe physicians and NPs/PAs must work together toward the same goal

    Jerina Gani, MD, MPH
  • Guilty until proven innocent? My experience with a state medical board.

    Jeffrey Hatef, Jr., MD
  • How to balance clinical duties with building a startup

    Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA
  • When life makes you depend on Depends

    Francisco M. Torres, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • How hospitals can prepare for CMS’s new patient safety rule

      Kim Adelman, PhD | Conditions
    • Why palliative care is more than just end-of-life support

      Dr. Vishal Parackal | Conditions
    • When life makes you depend on Depends

      Francisco M. Torres, MD | Physician
    • Guilty until proven innocent? My experience with a state medical board.

      Jeffrey Hatef, Jr., MD | Physician
    • Why medical notes have become billing scripts instead of patient stories

      Sriman Swarup, MD, MBA | Tech
    • Could antibiotics beat heart disease where statins failed?

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why transgender health care needs urgent reform and inclusive practices

      Angela Rodriguez, MD | Conditions
    • COVID-19 was real: a doctor’s frontline account

      Randall S. Fong, MD | Conditions
    • Why primary care doctors are drowning in debt despite saving lives

      John Wei, MD | Physician
    • New student loan caps could shut low-income students out of medicine

      Tom Phan, MD | Physician
    • Confessions of a lipidologist in recovery: the infection we’ve ignored for 40 years

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • mRNA post vaccination syndrome: Is it real?

      Harry Oken, MD | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • Could antibiotics beat heart disease where statins failed?

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • The dying man who gave me flowers changed how I see care

      Augusta Uwah, MD | Physician
    • Universities must tap endowments to sustain biomedical research

      Adeel Khan, MD | Conditions
    • Exploring the science behind burnout [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Apprenticeship reshapes medical training for confident clinicians

      Claude E. Lett III, PA-C | Conditions
    • How American medicine profits from despair

      Jenny Shields, PhD | Policy

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • How hospitals can prepare for CMS’s new patient safety rule

      Kim Adelman, PhD | Conditions
    • Why palliative care is more than just end-of-life support

      Dr. Vishal Parackal | Conditions
    • When life makes you depend on Depends

      Francisco M. Torres, MD | Physician
    • Guilty until proven innocent? My experience with a state medical board.

      Jeffrey Hatef, Jr., MD | Physician
    • Why medical notes have become billing scripts instead of patient stories

      Sriman Swarup, MD, MBA | Tech
    • Could antibiotics beat heart disease where statins failed?

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why transgender health care needs urgent reform and inclusive practices

      Angela Rodriguez, MD | Conditions
    • COVID-19 was real: a doctor’s frontline account

      Randall S. Fong, MD | Conditions
    • Why primary care doctors are drowning in debt despite saving lives

      John Wei, MD | Physician
    • New student loan caps could shut low-income students out of medicine

      Tom Phan, MD | Physician
    • Confessions of a lipidologist in recovery: the infection we’ve ignored for 40 years

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • mRNA post vaccination syndrome: Is it real?

      Harry Oken, MD | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • Could antibiotics beat heart disease where statins failed?

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • The dying man who gave me flowers changed how I see care

      Augusta Uwah, MD | Physician
    • Universities must tap endowments to sustain biomedical research

      Adeel Khan, MD | Conditions
    • Exploring the science behind burnout [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Apprenticeship reshapes medical training for confident clinicians

      Claude E. Lett III, PA-C | Conditions
    • How American medicine profits from despair

      Jenny Shields, PhD | Policy

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...