Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

The quest for external worthiness is exhausting. The experience of internal worthiness is exhilarating.

Amelia L. Bueche, DO
Physician
August 2, 2020
Share
Tweet
Share

We often think something will or someone can make us feel better. When the system appears broken, the culture toxic, the space unwelcoming, we are uncomfortable. To feel more comfortable, we seek to change the surroundings and, when that seems impossible, change ourselves to fit in. We quiet our inner voices to create an external voice that joins in with the choir around us. We shift our appearance to more closely match that which we see outside us. We learn the language of success as we hear it spoken and speak in foreign tongues that somehow enable communication in a way ours never could.

This can work for a while, sometimes even indefinitely, but it is exhausting. Especially if we are still looking to this external environment, which we have contorted ourselves to accommodate, to tell us when we are enough, important, valued, worthy. That moment, that declaration, that medal will never arrive. This version of worthiness is a finish line we will never cross. There will always be new ways of being in the outside world that elude our capacities and entice us to seek this supposed worthiness. A mirage of completion into which we can never actually step.

The breakthrough of belonging happens not at the pinnacle of achievement, but in the quiet of our minds, when we realize that “worthy” doesn’t live in degrees, achievements, positions, or paychecks. That worthy cannot be earned, just as it cannot be depleted. That worthy is always 100 percent, and it exists only in our thoughts about ourselves.

Seeing ourselves as 100 percent worthy doesn’t make the outside world any more comfortable. It doesn’t fix the broken, purify the toxic or suddenly create hospitality in an unfriendly situation – but it can shift our comfort within. Reminding us that we are not broken, we are not obliged to the toxic thoughts of “less than,” that we can decide to feel welcome wherever we are. This is a fitting in within ourselves, and it offers both relief and freedom from the painful contortions we previously upheld to match the external setting.

Sometimes this is enough – to reclaim responsibility, and the power that accompanies, for our own experience. To be free of the shackles of the expectations of others. To know beyond a reasonable doubt that our worthiness is immutable. Alleviating pressure of performance, fear of failure, and inviting possibility in its infinite form. Knowing that our engagement in any endeavor is no longer limited by the need for a certain outcome to declare us worthy. Living from this space, we are no longer subject to the confines of the system, culture, or spaces around us.

But after a lifetime of figuring out how to be “fine” and accepting that “things are the way they are,” many are standing in their absolute worthiness and calling for change. Not out of need, but by choice. Not out of scarcity, but from abundance. Not seeking power but rightfully claiming that which has always been theirs and accepting the adjoining responsibility. Not for themselves, who have seen and known worthiness as complete, but for those who have yet to bear witness. Quieting the soundtrack that has played discordant melodies of worthiness as an elusive faction bestowed upon us by “them” and revoked at will beyond our control.

This is the call for freedom. It is free of apology, want, and need. It requires no declaration and is unattached to outcome. It seeks neither permission nor approval. It is not weak, it is not wan, and it is not wavering. It is worthiness calling to itself, and it will not be interrupted.

When we call for change from our unassailable wholeness, we are telling the broken system that no longer will we fracture ourselves in order to adapt.

When we call for change from our impervious worthiness, we are telling the toxic culture there is no longer a host for its disease.

When we call for change from our resolute value, we are telling the unwelcoming spaces they no longer have a place in our lives.

Those who have long been unseen and unheard in the practice of medicine are waking to their worthiness and finding their voices, speaking with clarity and confidence in the beautiful words of their native language. Unfolding themselves from the cramped and confined spaces, peeling back the heavy layers of accommodation and declaring welcome for all.

This reflection of immutable worthiness can be startling. It can shake the foundation of belief and understanding, especially in an external achievement-oriented profession. It need not devalue degrees, training or position, but simply free them from responsibility for providing worthiness. These neutral representatives of education, experience, and appointment may be acknowledged, celebrated, revered, or desired, but they may never apply or revoke worthy upon their beholder – this can only come from within and is always available at 100 percent.

The quest for external worthiness is exhausting. It is not sustainable. It is not necessary.

ADVERTISEMENT

The experience of internal worthiness is exhilarating. It is infinitely renewable. It is readily available. When all see their own worthiness in its absolute totality, the magnitude of power is infinite, and the levy of responsibility equally shared by all. When we join our individual, unique, and worthy voices, the call for change rings out clearly, will not be interrupted, and cannot be denied.

Amelia L. Bueche is an osteopathic physician and founder, This Osteopathic Life.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

My intersection of race and privilege with COVID-19

August 2, 2020 Kevin 1
…
Next

7 habits of highly resilient physicians

August 2, 2020 Kevin 3
…

Tagged as: Practice Management

Post navigation

< Previous Post
My intersection of race and privilege with COVID-19
Next Post >
7 habits of highly resilient physicians

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Amelia L. Bueche, DO

  • From skin to soul: What pain reveals about our health

    Amelia L. Bueche, DO
  • This perspective will change how physicians address pain and recovery

    Amelia L. Bueche, DO
  • Expanding the osteopathic concept for the health of all things

    Amelia L. Bueche, DO

Related Posts

  • The post-baccalaureate pre-health program experience

    Sheindel Ifrah
  • You are what you click: Transform your social media experience [PODCAST]

    The Podcast by KevinMD
  • Patient experience scores are being dragged down by process problems

    Trisha Swift, DNP, RN
  • A physician shares her positive experience with social media

    Claudine J. Aguilera, MD
  • A near-death experience taught this medical student a lesson

    Johnathan Yao, MD, MPH
  • A student’s volunteer experience at a mobile outreach clinic

    Juan Arnoletti

More in Physician

  • When errors of nature are treated as medical negligence

    Howard Smith, MD
  • The hidden chains holding doctors back

    Neil Baum, MD
  • 9 proven ways to gain cooperation in health care without commanding

    Patrick Hudson, MD
  • Why physicians deserve more than an oxygen mask

    Jessie Mahoney, MD
  • More than a meeting: Finding education, inspiration, and community in internal medicine [PODCAST]

    American College of Physicians & The Podcast by KevinMD
  • Why recovery after illness demands dignity, not suspicion

    Trisza Leann Ray, DO
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
    • Why recovery after illness demands dignity, not suspicion

      Trisza Leann Ray, DO | Physician
    • Addressing the physician shortage: How AI can help, not replace

      Amelia Mercado | Tech
    • Why medical students are trading empathy for publications

      Vijay Rajput, MD | Education
    • Why does rifaximin cost 95 percent more in the U.S. than in Asia?

      Jai Kumar, MD, Brian Nohomovich, DO, PhD and Leonid Shamban, DO | Meds
    • How conflicts of interest are eroding trust in U.S. health agencies [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
  • Past 6 Months

    • What’s driving medical students away from primary care?

      ​​Vineeth Amba, MPH, Archita Goyal, and Wayne Altman, MD | Education
    • Make cognitive testing as routine as a blood pressure check

      Joshua Baker and James Jackson, PsyD | Conditions
    • The hidden bias in how we treat chronic pain

      Richard A. Lawhern, PhD | Meds
    • A faster path to becoming a doctor is possible—here’s how

      Ankit Jain | Education
    • Residency as rehearsal: the new pediatric hospitalist fellowship requirement scam

      Anonymous | Physician
    • The broken health care system doesn’t have to break you

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • How conflicts of interest are eroding trust in U.S. health agencies [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why young doctors in South Korea feel broken before they even begin

      Anonymous | Education
    • Measles is back: Why vaccination is more vital than ever

      American College of Physicians | Conditions
    • When errors of nature are treated as medical negligence

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
    • Physician job change: Navigating your 457 plan and avoiding tax traps [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The hidden chains holding doctors back

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 1 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
    • Why recovery after illness demands dignity, not suspicion

      Trisza Leann Ray, DO | Physician
    • Addressing the physician shortage: How AI can help, not replace

      Amelia Mercado | Tech
    • Why medical students are trading empathy for publications

      Vijay Rajput, MD | Education
    • Why does rifaximin cost 95 percent more in the U.S. than in Asia?

      Jai Kumar, MD, Brian Nohomovich, DO, PhD and Leonid Shamban, DO | Meds
    • How conflicts of interest are eroding trust in U.S. health agencies [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
  • Past 6 Months

    • What’s driving medical students away from primary care?

      ​​Vineeth Amba, MPH, Archita Goyal, and Wayne Altman, MD | Education
    • Make cognitive testing as routine as a blood pressure check

      Joshua Baker and James Jackson, PsyD | Conditions
    • The hidden bias in how we treat chronic pain

      Richard A. Lawhern, PhD | Meds
    • A faster path to becoming a doctor is possible—here’s how

      Ankit Jain | Education
    • Residency as rehearsal: the new pediatric hospitalist fellowship requirement scam

      Anonymous | Physician
    • The broken health care system doesn’t have to break you

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • How conflicts of interest are eroding trust in U.S. health agencies [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why young doctors in South Korea feel broken before they even begin

      Anonymous | Education
    • Measles is back: Why vaccination is more vital than ever

      American College of Physicians | Conditions
    • When errors of nature are treated as medical negligence

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
    • Physician job change: Navigating your 457 plan and avoiding tax traps [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The hidden chains holding doctors back

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

The quest for external worthiness is exhausting. The experience of internal worthiness is exhilarating.
1 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...