If you knew we are like the “Two Fridas,”
that our hearts are connected,
would you change your mind?
Would you stop
as you are about to cut
the artery feeding your heart and mine?
If you knew that when you cry because of your loneliness,
because of your longing for your family,
that I cry, too, (though behind your back,
after I have comforted you)
would you change your mind?
If you knew that your isolation,
with the tubes and gadgets
coming from you or going into you,
extend to me
would you change your mind then?
I am isolated to many units like yours
in claustrophobia-inducing garment,
needing to stay up,
to kill sleep to care for you,
to be far from my darlings,
whom I am unable to touch.
I am resolved to hear and see their laughs and hugs
through technological magic but
not the magic that truly matters:
their touch that infuses my arteries with joy and contentment,
their smell that transports me back to the garden,
to running around as we chase butterflies in our garden
filled with aromas of lavender, hibiscus, and bougainvillea.
We are the “Two Fridas.”
Can you let go of your scissors now?
Can you let me give you a shot,
a magical shield for you and for me,
so that we can both go back to our gardens?
Nonetheless, trust that I’ll be by your side to the end,
no matter what you decide.
In loving memory of a patient. “Two Fridas” is the name of one of my favorite paintings by one of my favorite artists, Frida Kahlo.
Rosemary Eseh-Logue is an internal medicine physician.
Image credit: fridakahlo.org