I’ve recently been intrigued by this question: Are you giving from extra or essence?

In many respects, giving from one’s essence is what burnout is all about. Your energy reserves (emotional, physical, mental, cognitive) are heading rapidly toward empty. Because of a mismatch between the energy drain from internal and external stressors and the ability to replenish your energy, you are left depleted.

I see this mismatch daily in the physicians whom I coach. Let’s face it, the health care environment is more stressful and demanding than ever, with staff shortages, endless admin tasks, and increasing pressure to do more with less.

This ramping up of stressors uncovers a mismatch that has existed for decades in medicine: one that is based on a professional culture that tells us that we must completely sacrifice ourselves (time, energy, well-being, self-care) for patient care. That message has always been there. Its consequences are just more obvious now, with high rates of burnout, early retirement, and cutting back on clinical hours. I see it in new clients who tell me, “I dread going to work,” “I’m irritable all the time, and this is not me,” and “I love my patients, but I just can’t do this anymore.” (P.S. Most of the latter end up staying.)

The solution goes back to the frequently used metaphor of the airplane instructions: Put the oxygen mask on yourself first before assisting others. You can’t help anyone if you’ve passed out from hypoxia. The analogy tells us what to do, but it doesn’t tell us how. It also doesn’t tell us what stands in the way when we try to change and can’t.

This is where coaching excels. Coaching helps us see our blind spots, those ineffective beliefs or behaviors that keep us stuck or miserable or burned out. And coaching provides a framework and supportive accountability for making changes that propel us forward (whether that’s advancing in our career, feeling more satisfaction and harmony in our life, or navigating a life or professional transition with grace and intention).

Coaching is one of the most powerful tools for shifting from giving from your essence to giving from your extra. What would it be like for you to make that shift?

If any of this resonates, consider speaking with a coach.

Diane W. Shannon is an internal medicine physician and physician coach.