Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Working in medicine isn’t an all-or-nothing situation

Nicole M. King, MD
Physician
October 10, 2022
Share
Tweet
Share

I have recently undergone (yet another) transition and am now back to living at home with my family full time instead of in an apartment half of the time. So wonderful most of the time … I think.

It is amazing and a very big wake-up call that I missed many of my children’s lives. And that those two years I will never get back, but it’s also just so hard to be “on” all of the time. I am not complaining, but these thoughts and feelings are real.

Mom, mom, mom, Mommy!

OK, so you will think this is a piece about being a working physician mother, but it’s really not. It’s more about how we can feel multiple ways about something, and it does not always have to be so black and white, or either, or.

Medicine included.

I continue to be amazed at how we all have convinced ourselves that leaving clinical medicine, changing jobs, and profiting from a side gig is the key. I understand why we feel that way. I have done all the above and likely will continue to do so in the future, but I think we are vastly underserving those who are watching us when we pretend it’s “so much better” out here than inside the arena of clinical medicine. This is an all-or-nothing approach to a complicated, complex, personal issue.

This is not to say these moves or thoughts are not necessary or warranted. People in medicine have been destroyed physically, mentally, and emotionally by various aspects of being a physician or clinician in the modern world, especially over the last decade.

In fact, I watched part of what tears people apart happen to a trainee this weekend on call. Profanities and cruelty were thrown at them while doing a procedure. Many laypeople don’t understand or have never experienced that part of it.

It would be easy for me to state that this is uncalled for and yell at or be dismissive to the patient, but the reality is I knew this patient and their story intimately and understood why they acted in such a way. It wasn’t an either/or situation; it was truly a both/and situation.

I recognized the pain and abuse spewed at the trainee while also knowing that this patient had endured similar. Does this excuse it? No, it doesn’t, but it does give me pause when I consider walking away from medicine. Sometimes we are bearing the results of prior abuse at the hands of others, including other clinicians or physicians.

It can be true that physicians gaslight their patients, while physicians/clinicians are also abused at an unacceptable rate and compound an already overwhelming career choice. Pretending that these two experiences are not intimately connected is where we lose the forest for the trees.

I see it the same way that we as physicians become enraged and indignant about prior authorizations or peer-to-peer consultations from insurance companies. As someone with friends and colleagues who have done or are doing these jobs, I would ask why we think these things are necessary.

Though physicians may want to bemoan that it is the insurance companies’ way of controlling us or making money off of us, I would also ask us to consider why they became necessary in the first place. It can be true that these requirements result in delays in care or even morbidity/mortality while also being true that physicians were allowed to dictate care for decades/centuries with minimum to no oversight. It’s both.

This brings me to the ongoing disaster of a relationship physicians seem to have with other clinicians and/or nurses and how it plays out on social media.

There really are situations where it’s just different being a physician — when it’s your name, your license, your career on the line. If you bottom line a patient’s care, it’s absolutely crucial for us to have opinions and be a part of the care provided to a patient. But this doesn’t mean we, as physicians, are immune from bad or unnecessary care or interventions.

ADVERTISEMENT

It doesn’t mean care provided by all “other providers” is inferior or that all physicians are arrogant power-hungry people who want to be called “doctor.” It can be both that we work together as a care team and that there are strengths and weaknesses that we all bring to the table.

It can also mean I want to quit medicine, run far away, and never want to stop practicing, as I do derive a large part of my identity from my practice of medicine. Anymore it’s seen as a weakness or a fault to derive your self-worth from anything outside of yourself. Which I find incredibly misleading when we also teach our children to be kind to others and to help other people so that they know they are special and not alone.

So is it both/and or either/or?

How would it make sense to teach children that their community and sense of belonging is essential to their happiness and success but then expect adults to find everything inside themselves? Can we work on finding the core part of our identity while also deriving fulfillment from caring for others? I sure hope so.

I am the first to admit that I have ignored and shoved my burnout down underneath a layer of hard work and recognize that I must face it now while also maintaining my practice of medicine. The culture of medicine has taken advantage of this resiliency. And I have a responsibility to work on it for the sake of myself, my family, my patients, and my colleagues. It’s both. For some of us, this work has or will require leaving clinical medicine — but I don’t think it has to be either or for all of us.

Nicole M. King is an anesthesiologist and intensivist.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Miscarriages in a post-Roe world [PODCAST]

October 9, 2022 Kevin 0
…
Next

What hospitals can learn from the RaDonda Vaught case

October 10, 2022 Kevin 1
…

Tagged as: Critical Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Miscarriages in a post-Roe world [PODCAST]
Next Post >
What hospitals can learn from the RaDonda Vaught case

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Nicole M. King, MD

  • Adriana Smith’s story: a medical tragedy under heartbeat laws

    Nicole M. King, MD
  • How medicine is evolving: Bridging generational divides in the profession

    Nicole M. King, MD
  • Navigating COVID: a journey from academic intensity to healing

    Nicole M. King, MD

Related Posts

  • Why health care replaced physician care

    Michael Weiss, MD
  • How social media can advance humanism in medicine

    Pooja Lakshmin, MD
  • More physician responsibility for patient care

    Michael R. McGuire
  • Why academic medicine needs to value physician contributions to online platforms

    Ariela L. Marshall, MD
  • Street medicine: You don’t know about it, but you don’t care to

    Ti Hoang
  • Health care needs more physician CEOs

    Alexi Nazem, MD

More in Physician

  • How subjective likability practices undermine Canada’s health workforce recruitment and retention

    Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD
  • Why judgment is hurting doctors—and how mindfulness can heal

    Jessie Mahoney, MD
  • Why evidence-based management may be an effective strategy for stronger health care leadership and equity

    Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD
  • The gift we keep giving: How medicine demands everything—even our holidays

    Tomi Mitchell, MD
  • From burnout to balance: a neurosurgeon’s bold career redesign

    Jessie Mahoney, MD
  • Why working in Hawai’i health care isn’t all paradise

    Clayton Foster, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The hidden health risks in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act

      Trevor Lyford, MPH | Policy
    • How New Mexico became a malpractice lawsuit hotspot

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
    • Why doctors are reclaiming control from burnout culture

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • Why health care leaders fail at execution—and how to fix it

      Dave Cummings, RN | Policy
    • How digital tools are reshaping the doctor-patient relationship

      Vineet Vishwanath | Tech
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
    • The hidden health risks in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act

      Trevor Lyford, MPH | Policy
    • Why Medicaid cuts should alarm every doctor

      Ilan Shapiro, MD | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Decoding your medical bill: What those charges really mean

      Cheryl Spang | Finance
    • The emotional first responders of aesthetic medicine

      Sarah White, APRN | Conditions
    • Why testosterone matters more than you think in women’s health

      Andrea Caamano, MD | Conditions
    • A mind to guide the machine: Why physicians must help shape artificial intelligence in medicine

      Shanice Spence-Miller, MD | Tech
    • How subjective likability practices undermine Canada’s health workforce recruitment and retention

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The hidden health risks in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act

      Trevor Lyford, MPH | Policy
    • How New Mexico became a malpractice lawsuit hotspot

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
    • Why doctors are reclaiming control from burnout culture

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • Why health care leaders fail at execution—and how to fix it

      Dave Cummings, RN | Policy
    • How digital tools are reshaping the doctor-patient relationship

      Vineet Vishwanath | Tech
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
    • The hidden health risks in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act

      Trevor Lyford, MPH | Policy
    • Why Medicaid cuts should alarm every doctor

      Ilan Shapiro, MD | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Decoding your medical bill: What those charges really mean

      Cheryl Spang | Finance
    • The emotional first responders of aesthetic medicine

      Sarah White, APRN | Conditions
    • Why testosterone matters more than you think in women’s health

      Andrea Caamano, MD | Conditions
    • A mind to guide the machine: Why physicians must help shape artificial intelligence in medicine

      Shanice Spence-Miller, MD | Tech
    • How subjective likability practices undermine Canada’s health workforce recruitment and retention

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...