Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Holding my Black son tight: a mother’s reflection

Margaret Towolawi, MD
Physician
February 13, 2023
Share
Tweet
Share

In the wake of Tyre Nichols’s murder, I find myself wanting to hold onto my Black son a little tighter.

He is 7.

Young enough to still be deemed cute by some, but old enough to not be given as much grace for simply “being a kid” by others.

Sometimes I spoil him a bit more than I’d like to.

It’s only really because even though I know technically he’s a kid until age 18, he really has a year, maybe two — depending on how tall he gets — to be seen as a kid in other’s eyes.

He is layered like everyone else.

Smart as a whip, and he is not afraid to challenge anyone.

He’s got his father’s wit and my curiosity.

He surprises me with his ability to see things that I sometimes miss.

He is sweet, sensitive, kind, and a lover of all things Legos.

He fights with his younger sister but would defend her with all of his heart if he had to.

He throws tantrums and cries when he doesn’t get his way with his father or me.

He gets frustrated.

He’s a kid.

He’s a young Black boy that will one day grow into a young Black man.

He’s a young Black boy that I pray will one day grow into a young Black man.

ADVERTISEMENT

A young Black man who grows into the type of old Black man who has stories for days because he has lived a full life.

That is the common thread that we all share.

We all want to live full lives.

We all want to see dreams not get deferred.

We all just want to be seen.

All layers. At all times.

Nobody ever wants to always be seen as the villain.

And nobody gets the right to always be the victim.

Let us all do our best to see someone’s child in the eyes of the next person we disagree with or feel uncomfortable around.

More grace. Less hate.

Margaret Towolawi is a family physician.

Prev

Unlocking the potential of occupational therapists: a solution to undertreated hand conditions

February 13, 2023 Kevin 0
…
Next

Breaking the stigma: Why doctors are afraid to seek mental health treatment

February 13, 2023 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: Public Health & Policy

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Unlocking the potential of occupational therapists: a solution to undertreated hand conditions
Next Post >
Breaking the stigma: Why doctors are afraid to seek mental health treatment

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Margaret Towolawi, MD

  • Observations of a Black frontline worker and protester

    Margaret Towolawi, MD

Related Posts

  • A mother’s advice to her physician son

    June Garen, RN
  • The brother I never knew. The mother I never had.

    Debbie Moore-Black, RN
  • We need more black cops. We need more black physicians.

    Farhan S. Imran, MD
  • The black physician’s burden

    Naomi Tweyo Nkinsi
  • Medical students in solidarity: Black Lives Matter

    Anna Delamerced
  • A Black Panther for diabetics

    Ariel Lawrence

More in Physician

  • Are medical malpractice lawsuits cherry-picked data?

    Howard Smith, MD
  • The Chief Poisoner: a chemotherapy poem

    Ron Louie, MD
  • Whole-body MRI screening: political privilege or future of care?

    Michael Brant-Zawadzki, MD
  • Why doctors must stop waiting and reclaim their lives

    Jessie Mahoney, MD
  • The hidden link between circadian rhythm and physician burnout

    Shiv K. Goel, MD
  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    Why addiction is no longer just a clinical category

    Farid Sabet-Sharghi, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why doctors struggle with treating friends and family

      Rebecca Margolis, DO and Alyson Axelrod, DO | Physician
    • Whole-body MRI screening: political privilege or future of care?

      Michael Brant-Zawadzki, MD | Physician
    • Physician attrition rates rise: the hidden crisis in health care

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Physician
    • Personalized scientific communication: the patient experience

      Dr. Vivek Podder | Physician
    • Scrotal pain in young men: When to seek urgent care

      Martina Ambardjieva, MD, PhD | Conditions
    • The role of operations research in health care crisis management

      Gerald Kuo | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why patient trust in physicians is declining

      Mansi Kotwal, MD, MPH | Physician
    • Is primary care becoming a triage station?

      J. Leonard Lichtenfeld, MD | Physician
    • The blind men and the elephant: a parable for modern pain management

      Richard A. Lawhern, PhD | Conditions
    • Psychiatrists are physicians: a key distinction

      Farid Sabet-Sharghi, MD | Physician
    • Why feeling unlike yourself is a sign of physician emotional overload

      Stephanie Wellington, MD | Physician
    • The loss of community pharmacy expertise

      Muhammad Abdullah Khan | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • Scrotal pain in young men: When to seek urgent care

      Martina Ambardjieva, MD, PhD | Conditions
    • Mobile dentistry: a structural redesign for public health

      Rida Ghani | Policy
    • How physicians can preserve trust after medical errors [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast, Sponsored
    • Technology for older adults: Why messaging apps are a lifeline

      Gerald Kuo | Conditions
    • Are medical malpractice lawsuits cherry-picked data?

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
    • Accountable care cooperatives: a 2026 vision for U.S. health care

      David K. Cundiff, MD | Policy

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 1 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why doctors struggle with treating friends and family

      Rebecca Margolis, DO and Alyson Axelrod, DO | Physician
    • Whole-body MRI screening: political privilege or future of care?

      Michael Brant-Zawadzki, MD | Physician
    • Physician attrition rates rise: the hidden crisis in health care

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Physician
    • Personalized scientific communication: the patient experience

      Dr. Vivek Podder | Physician
    • Scrotal pain in young men: When to seek urgent care

      Martina Ambardjieva, MD, PhD | Conditions
    • The role of operations research in health care crisis management

      Gerald Kuo | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why patient trust in physicians is declining

      Mansi Kotwal, MD, MPH | Physician
    • Is primary care becoming a triage station?

      J. Leonard Lichtenfeld, MD | Physician
    • The blind men and the elephant: a parable for modern pain management

      Richard A. Lawhern, PhD | Conditions
    • Psychiatrists are physicians: a key distinction

      Farid Sabet-Sharghi, MD | Physician
    • Why feeling unlike yourself is a sign of physician emotional overload

      Stephanie Wellington, MD | Physician
    • The loss of community pharmacy expertise

      Muhammad Abdullah Khan | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • Scrotal pain in young men: When to seek urgent care

      Martina Ambardjieva, MD, PhD | Conditions
    • Mobile dentistry: a structural redesign for public health

      Rida Ghani | Policy
    • How physicians can preserve trust after medical errors [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast, Sponsored
    • Technology for older adults: Why messaging apps are a lifeline

      Gerald Kuo | Conditions
    • Are medical malpractice lawsuits cherry-picked data?

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
    • Accountable care cooperatives: a 2026 vision for U.S. health care

      David K. Cundiff, MD | Policy

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Holding my Black son tight: a mother’s reflection
1 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...