This article is satire.

In recent years, health care has made significant strides toward gender equality. But are these changes for the better? Let’s use facts to address the misconceptions and finally close the topic of women in medicine.

1. Female doctors make less money than men. As everyone knows, quality of care is directly proportional to revenue.

2. Female doctors cannot handle multiple patients. They are, after all, the undisputed queens of multitasking, a skill that is highly valuable in the medical profession!

3. Female doctors take too much time listening and talking to patients. This “inappropriate” behavior actually leads to better outcomes for both male and female patients.

4. Female doctors tend to get tired. Contrary to everyone else in health care right now.

5. Women’s brains are too small to learn the complicated science behind medicine. They just perform way better at intuitive thinking, thanks to their more interhemispheric connections.

6. Female doctors offer more follow-up appointments, which burdens our health care system. The resulting lower hospitalization rate and fewer emergency room visits are way overrated!

7. Female doctors are too emotional and sensitive to handle the difficult situations they must face in their practices. Despite the evidence that suggests female physicians bring unique perspectives to their work that can improve patient care.

8. Female doctors are preferred by only 31 percent of patients. Should I mention that only 18 percent of patients prefer male doctors? The rest have no gender preference!

9. Female doctors lack the skills to reach leadership positions. This “proves” they cannot adapt to the old-boys’-club health care system that hasn’t changed to reflect how its female physicians work.

10. Female doctors can have a negative influence on male doctors. Except for evidence that showed male physicians with more exposure to female colleagues were better able to treat female patients.

11. Female doctors experience more mental health issues than men. This likely has nothing to do with the mental load they have to cope with in their personal life, a concept that has not been proven yet in a double-blind, randomized trial.

12. Female doctors put patients at risk (based on someone I know). We can finally push aside the study that showed mortality rates in the ER to be lower when the treating physician is female.

13. Female doctors are not career-oriented. After all, we’re in 2024, and work-life balance is so 2023.

Charles Tanguay is a physician and the visionary founder of Dilato, an innovative tool that uses clickable templates designed to alleviate the documentation burden for physicians. Hundreds of templates are available to try out. He is also the creator of the Template Generator, a free tool to create medical templates on any topic, using AI.