An excerpt from Adultish: The Body Image Book for Life.

The way that different foods (for example, fats), are talked about in the public and online isn’t always scientifically correct. People can have very strong opinions about food, but this doesn’t mean that these opinions are accurate. It is important to eat foods you enjoy, but some foods are more nutrient dense than others. Eating a variety of foods is also necessary. Kale may be really nutritious, but only eating kale all the time would not be.

At different points in history, different government officials (in the U.S. and other countries) have asked scientists to put together dietary guidelines. These guidelines are meant to help guide the public as they make food choices. Depending on your age, you may have learned about these guidelines when they were called a “food pyramid” or a “food plate.” The recommendations and the messaging surrounding these guidelines have changed across time as nutrition science and knowledge has evolved.

One recommendation that current guidelines offer is for nearly half of each meal to consist of fruits and vegetables. Research consistently suggests that people who eat more fruits and vegetables have lower risk of certain health conditions including heart disease, some types of cancer, and some gastrointestinal conditions. Of course, a lot of this research is conducted in ways that make it difficult to determine if it is dietary habits that are health protective or other factors that might be related to people’s dietary habits, such as having enough money to buy fruits and vegetables, that are really protective. Regardless, there is no downside to eating fruits and vegetables!

Second, dietary recommendations suggest that carbohydrates are an important part of a healthy diet, but that most carbohydrates consumed should be whole grains. Carbohydrates are an important source of energy, but nutrient-dense carbohydrates, with less added sugar and fat are most likely to contribute to health and have been found to reduce heart disease risk in particular.

Third, protein and dairy are considered an important component of a healthy diet, but lean, nutrient-dense options are recommended. In terms of protein, some of the most nutritious options may not be meat; there are many other sources of protein, such as beans and nuts. In terms of dairy, it is important to watch out for added sugars in foods such as yogurt. Research links dairy consumption with a decreased risk of type 2 diabetes and metabolic syndrome.

If these recommendations feel out of reach for you, you are not alone. Most Americans do not follow the recommended guidelines for fruits, vegetables, and lean dairy and protein, but get closer for carbohydrates (but eat mostly refined carbohydrates, not whole grains). It’s nice to have the goal of eating healthily, but it’s a complicated and challenging goal. Even though your diet impacts your physical health, it is also important to maintain your psychological health, which means not worrying about what you eat!

Now you’re in charge

As you reach adulthood, your own food shopping and preparation will be up to you. If you’re lucky, you’ve had a parent or other adult buying groceries and making most of your meals for you, but soon you will be in charge of your own meals! It may be tempting, assuming it’s within your budget, to buy most of your meals and fast food may have special appeal if you’re busy with school and work. However, it can also be really fun to learn to cook and to cook with other people, such as a friend or partner.

There are ways to make food shopping and preparation relatively easy, especially with grocery delivery services and apps that help with food shopping, meal planning, and recipes. Frozen fruits and vegetables are a great way to add variety to what you eat, are relatively cheap, last a long time, and are not less nutritious than fresh produce. It can also be important to keep snack foods within reach that are easy to grab on your way to school or whenever you are hungry. Sometimes single serving packages of snacks like popcorn are handy to have around because they are portable, and you don’t have to worry about an entire container or bag of something going stale if you don’t eat it all right away.

Food can be a lot of fun and learning to prepare foods you like will benefit you across your life. It is valuable to learn to be practical about what you like, what you’ll actually eat, and what you have the time and money to prepare. Beware of online information such as what I eat in a day social media posts or videos, because what works for one person’s appetite, budget, and preferences rarely works exactly for another person! Lakshmi’s story reminds us that while our eating habits are important, we’re all unique in not only our food preferences but the size and shape body we’re born with.

My story: Lakshmi Sita, 22 years old, she/her, U.S.A.

Growing up, I was always a skinny kid and I’m still pretty skinny. I do have big hips, so I’m sorta curvy, but people still tell me that I’m skinny. I guess because of this, I’ve never really worried about my weight.

My eating habits are a bit all over the place. I love fast food, but I try to eat foods that are more nutritious. I often eat eggs in the morning. My lunch somewhat depends on what my mom has made. Sometimes she makes Indian food, which is somewhat healthy. Most Indian dishes include some sort of protein, vegetables and some sauce. It’s hard to go wrong with her meals. What’s not to like about Tikka Masala? For dinner, I usually eat some sort of protein, carb, and a vegetable side dish. I’ll snack on chips or something if I’m hungry. I also love fruit; bananas, mangoes, and strawberries are my favorites. I’m not really a huge dessert person, but I like ice cream. I usually am happy with sweets in small portions.

I wish I had more of a “slim thick” figure. I guess almost all women I know wish they had bigger breasts and a rounder bottom. Seeing these figures on social media can contribute to my sense of insecurity, but I think I hide it pretty well. I suspect I’ve grown up feeling as satisfied with my body as I am and with a pretty good relationship with food because these are issues I haven’t had to worry about a lot. I know that it seems sorta basic, but just not worrying about food and what I eat is a luxury.

My advice for younger kids is to appreciate that everyone is unique and you’re never going to be like other people. It can take time and maturity, but I think it’s important to look to yourself for validation and not to look to others for validation. Surround yourself with people that you like, that like you, and that support you. I know I’m not perfect, but the people I spend time with appreciate me and that goes a long way.

Charlotte Markey is a psychologist and author of Adultish: The Body Image Book for Life.