As physicians, we are often collectively gaslit—made to believe that somehow, we are responsible for system failures. Many physicians are brainwashed to “drink the Kool-Aid” and accept phrases like, “This is the way things have always been done.” We are made to feel inhuman when we advocate for ourselves as if we are somehow to blame. The system uses terms like “unprofessional,” “unable to cope with the rigors of being a physician,” “not taking personal responsibility for themselves,” and the list goes on.

Sometimes, the people who gaslight us are fellow physicians, attendings, and system administrators. The term “eating their young” doesn’t just apply to other professions—it plagues medicine. The very people who are supposed to support and mentor us can be the ones who create the most angst. During my residency, one attending stands out in my memory—etched there forever. This attending had a habit of publicly shaming me in front of patients, doctors, and administrators. This person’s behavior left a lasting impact, selectively “nice” to some residents and frankly cruel to others. To this day, I haven’t spoken a word to this attending, and when I see them, I act like I don’t know them.

So, I’m speaking my truth—I’m sick and tired of hearing about fellow physicians who have died tragically by suicide. These deaths were preventable, and it breaks my heart. Physicians are dying by suicide at alarming rates, with studies showing that approximately 300 to 400 U.S. physicians die by suicide each year—a rate twice as high as the general population. Let’s stop gaslighting each other. Let’s not accept the toxic practices or culture in medicine driving physicians away from clinical practice. About 49 percent of physicians report experiencing burnout, and 40 percent consider leaving medicine within the next two years.

What exactly does gaslighting mean?

Here are some signs that you might be experiencing gaslighting as a physician:

Physical challenges are downplayed. We are not given time to attend our health care appointments and are made to feel guilty for taking time away from clinical duties to care for ourselves.

Excessive criticism. Receiving disproportionate criticism for mistakes while positive contributions are overlooked can lead to self-doubt. This is incredibly challenging during residency, where residents are still learning, and it should be a supportive environment.

Ignoring feedback. As physicians on the front lines, we see firsthand how policies can negatively impact patient care. When physicians provide feedback about systemic issues and dismiss their concerns, it perpetuates a negative cycle.

Tokenism in leadership. Women and minority physicians may feel tokenized in leadership roles, undermining their input and authority. For instance, women comprise over one-third of the physician workforce, but only about 18 percent hold senior leadership positions.

Lack of support for mental health. Many physicians would say that one of the last places they would reach out to for support is with their leaders or administrators. Frankly, it’s hard to trust people who are often a big part of your stress—they act as judge, jury, and executioner. Any perceived “weakness” could be used against you indefinitely in your career.

Let us do better

Which side are we on? The side of good and humanity? Or, frankly, the side of being “not a nice person?” (I was going to compare it to a body part, but I decided not to—you get my drift.)

What does it take to be a decent, kind human being? We should encourage and support our young—our future health care professionals. Our world depends on the “healer” (the physician) being healthy.

These not-so-pleasant individuals and system policies made me consider quitting at various points in my career, but I’m thankful I could pull through. Everyone’s situation is different; for some, it may seem hopeless—and that is a tragedy.

Let us do better! Let us lead by example and be kind to each other. If that doesn’t appeal to you, perhaps medicine isn’t for you.

Tomi Mitchell is a board-certified family physician and certified health and wellness coach with extensive experience in clinical practice and holistic well-being. She is also an acclaimed international keynote speaker and a passionate advocate for mental health and physician well-being. She leverages over a decade of private practice experience to drive meaningful change.

Dr. Mitchell is the founder of Holistic Wellness Strategies, where she empowers individuals through comprehensive, evidence-based approaches to well-being. Her career is dedicated to transforming lives by addressing personal challenges and enhancing relationships with practical, holistic strategies.

Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn, and book a discovery call to explore how she can support your wellness journey. For those interested in purchasing her book, please click here for the payment link. Check out her YouTube channel for more insights and valuable content on mental health and well-being.