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Why do doctors lose their why?

Tomi Mitchell, MD
Physician
November 15, 2025
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There’s a quiet heaviness that has settled over medicine, not always visible, but deeply felt. It lingers in hospital corridors and hovers over clinic desks cluttered with charts and cold coffee cups. You can see it in the nurse scrolling through yet another new policy update, her shoulders sagging under invisible weight. You can hear it in the tired sigh of a physician glancing at the clock at 9 p.m., realizing that another stack of notes still waits. And it shows in the eyes of our patients, eyes that look to us not only for healing, but for something far greater: hope, steadiness, and humanity in a world that feels increasingly unstable.

Over the past few years, medicine has undergone significant shifts that none of us could have fully anticipated. We’ve endured moral injury, relentless administrative demands, and the dehumanizing push of systems that often treat healers as replaceable components. We’ve witnessed political divisions enter our exam rooms and seen compassion strained to its limits.

Yet beneath all the noise, something deeper calls to us, a whisper that refuses to fade.

It’s time to reclaim our why.

To rediscover our purpose.

To reignite our joy.

Because without these, medicine, and life itself, loses its heartbeat.

When the system hijacks our why

Most of us didn’t enter medicine because it was convenient. We entered because we felt called, compelled by empathy, curiosity, and a desire to serve something larger than ourselves. But somewhere between the endless patient load, the bureaucratic checklists, and the digital avalanche of modern health care, that spark began to dim.

A 2023 Mayo Clinic Proceedings study revealed that nearly 63 percent of physicians reported at least one symptom of burnout in 2021, a sharp rise compared to pre-pandemic levels. The leading culprits were emotional exhaustion, loss of meaning, and depersonalization. In essence, many of us have become strangers to our own why.

It isn’t just about the workload. It’s the conditioning that runs deep through the culture of medicine, the subtle training that teaches us to equate exhaustion with excellence. We are told to push past discomfort, to measure our worth by productivity, and to view self-care as a sign of weakness. It sounds noble, even heroic. But in practice, it is corrosive.

When purpose turns into performance, fulfillment gives way to fatigue. We stop seeing our work as sacred and start seeing it as a means of survival. And in that slow erosion, something precious is lost.

We become healers for everyone but ourselves.

Purpose is not a luxury, it’s a lifeline.

Purpose gives meaning to effort. It transforms fatigue into fulfillment and chaos into coherence. Without it, each day becomes transactional, a series of tasks and checklists. With it, every encounter becomes a chance to touch a life, to witness resilience, to reaffirm why we do what we do.

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Research from the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine shows that individuals with a clear sense of purpose have lower levels of stress hormones, stronger immune responses, and longer lifespans. Purpose doesn’t just help us feel better; it helps us live better.

In medicine, that connection is especially vital. When we operate from purpose, empathy flows more freely. Our presence deepens. We listen differently. Patients sense it. Colleagues notice it. Even in the hardest days, that thread of meaning holds us steady.

Purpose doesn’t erase the system’s flaws, but it reminds us why we endure them in the first place, and why our presence still matters.

Joy is the vital sign we’re forgetting to check

Joy has quietly slipped from our list of professional priorities. We tell ourselves we’ll get to it “once things calm down.” But the truth is, things rarely do.

We’ve mistaken joy for frivolity, as though it belongs only to those who have time to spare. Yet joy, far from being a luxury, is essential to longevity in this work. It is both a clinical and spiritual imperative.

Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson’s Broaden-and-Build Theory demonstrates that positive emotions, such as joy, broaden our ability to think creatively, problem-solve, and connect authentically with others, all vital skills in health care. Joy strengthens cognition, deepens empathy, and replenishes emotional reserves.

A 2022 Medscape Physician Burnout Report found that nearly half of physicians reported no longer finding joy in their daily work. Many describe medicine as something that “takes” rather than “gives.” That reality is heartbreaking, but it isn’t irreversible.

Joy doesn’t require a complete overhaul. It asks only for awareness. It lives in the small, often overlooked moments: the smile of a patient whose pain finally eases, the shared laughter in the break room, the pause between one chart and the next where you simply breathe.

Joy isn’t about escaping medicine. It’s about finding yourself again within it.

Grounding through relationships

In a profession defined by constant motion, relationships are our grounding force. They remind us that before we were healers, we were humans, capable of connection, vulnerability, and love.

Yet relationships are often the first casualties of burnout. We retreat into isolation, telling ourselves that we’ll reconnect “once things settle.” But detachment only deepens depletion.

The landmark Harvard Study of Adult Development, spanning more than 80 years, found that strong relationships are the single most reliable predictor of happiness and longevity. Not wealth, not career success, not accolades, relationships.

Within medicine, relationships act as our emotional ballast. They tether us when the tides of responsibility rise too high. Whether it’s a trusted colleague who understands your shorthand, a mentor who listens without judgment, or a family member who reminds you that your worth exists beyond your title. These connections keep us whole.

But they require intention. Vulnerability. The willingness to say, “I’m not OK today.” For many, that feels foreign, even risky. Yet true healing, both personal and professional, is inherently relational.

We cannot heal in isolation.

The hard work of coming home to ourselves

Reclaiming purpose isn’t an intellectual exercise; it’s an act of courage. It requires stripping away the noise, sitting with discomfort, and meeting ourselves honestly.

Reflection, though quiet and unglamorous, is radical in a culture that celebrates busyness. There’s no CME credit for introspection, no line item for self-awareness. Yet this is where the fog begins to lift.

In my coaching work, I often ask clients one deceptively simple question: “If you removed your title (doctor, nurse, therapist, healer) who would you be?”

That question unsettles many. It exposes how deeply we’ve intertwined our identity with our profession. But reclaiming our why begins with reclaiming self.

You are more than your role. Before the degree, before the call schedules, you were a whole person: curious, alive, hopeful. That person still exists. Reconnecting with that version of yourself is not indulgence. It’s restoration.

Powerful questions worth asking

True reflection begins with brave questions, the kind that stir discomfort but also clarity:

  • What was my original “why” for choosing this path?
  • What does fulfillment look like for me now, not ten years ago, but in this moment?
  • What am I avoiding because it feels too painful to confront?
  • Which parts of my daily life energize me, and which quietly drain me?
  • Who am I when no one is watching, when no title defines me?
  • What legacy am I building: one of exhaustion or one of alignment?

The answers may be unsettling. But they are the gateway to transformation.

A practice of reflection and renewal

We invest hours in continuing medical education, yet how often do we invest in continuing human education? Reflection is not indulgent; it’s maintenance for the soul.

Just ten minutes a week can recalibrate perspective. Try using these prompts as a guide:

  • What moments this week reminded me of why I chose this profession?
  • What energized me, even briefly, and why?
  • Where did I compromise my boundaries, and what can I learn from it?
  • What am I denying myself (rest, play, connection) and what would it look like to reclaim it?
  • Who can I reach out to for authentic support or mentorship?

Each reflection, however small, reconnects us to the human side of healing, the aspect we often overlook in our pursuit of it.

Small shifts that create big change

Reclaiming purpose doesn’t always mean leaving your job or reinventing your life. More often, it’s about subtle recalibrations that compound over time.

1. Protect micro-moments of joy. Joy doesn’t need hours; it needs attention. That first sip of morning coffee, a song on the drive home, a moment of silence before the next patient. These small rituals fortify resilience.

2. Redefine success. Success isn’t the number of patients seen or how clear your inbox is. Success is showing up with integrity, presence, and compassion, for others and for yourself.

3. Set relational boundaries. Burnout thrives where boundaries blur. Protect your rest with the same vigilance you protect your patients’ safety.

4. Reignite curiosity. Read something outside of medicine: poetry, philosophy, art. Curiosity widens the aperture through which you see the world, reigniting a sense of wonder that bureaucracy can’t extinguish.

5. Practice gratitude intentionally. Gratitude reorients the mind toward abundance. Studies from the University of California have shown that it lowers cortisol levels and improves mood. Start simply: one acknowledgment, one thank-you, one reflection each day.

Small shifts compound. They turn survival into sustainability.

Healing from the inside out

We often think of healing as something we give. But it must begin within.

Our profession stands at a crossroads. We can continue operating from depletion, or we can choose restoration. Reclaiming our why is not a luxury; it’s how we lead differently, love differently, and model wholeness for those who come after us.

When we work from alignment rather than exhaustion, we become catalysts for change. Our presence alone becomes medicine.

I often think about my daughters, about the world they’re inheriting, one filled with noise and instability. I want them to see that even in chaos, it’s possible to stand rooted in integrity and joy. That’s what reclaiming our why offers us: a way to remain grounded while everything around us shifts.

Redefining resilience

Resilience has been misused, tossed around as a prescription for endurance. But true resilience isn’t about gritting your teeth and pushing through. It’s about elasticity: the ability to bend, recover, and still recognize yourself on the other side.

A 2020 study published in the JAMA Network Open found that physicians with a strong sense of community and meaning were twice as likely to recover from burnout symptoms within a year compared to those who felt disconnected. Meaning doesn’t erase hardship; it contextualizes it.

Resilience, then, is not about surviving the storm. It’s about remembering who you are in it, and who you want to be when it clears.

Let’s stop glorifying endurance. Let’s start celebrating renewal.

Purpose as an act of resistance

In a world obsessed with metrics, reclaiming purpose is a form of rebellion. Every time you listen deeply to a patient instead of rushing to the next task, you resist depersonalization. Every time you protect your boundary, you resist exploitation. Every time you choose joy, you defy the belief that medicine must be misery.

You are not a cog. You are a human being with agency, creativity, and soul. Transformation doesn’t begin with policies; it starts with people who choose alignment over autopilot.

It starts with a decision.

You don’t need a perfect plan. You need a decision: a quiet, grounded choice to return to yourself.

Decide that your why matters.

Decide that your joy is not negotiable.

Decide that you deserve to feel alive, not merely functional.

This isn’t about changing everything overnight. It’s about direction, not perfection. Each time you say no to what drains you and yes to what nourishes you, you take a step toward wholeness.

An invitation to reflect

Before you move on to your next task, take a breath.

Feel your lungs expand, the same lungs that have carried you through long shifts, laughter, and loss.

Then, ask yourself:

  • What am I truly yearning for right now?
  • What version of me have I neglected in the name of service?
  • What does joy look like today, and how can I reclaim it, one small act at a time?

This inner work is invisible, unbillable, and yet indispensable. It’s what sustains you long after the pager stops ringing.

Final thoughts

The world is loud. The systems are heavy. The expectations are relentless. But we are not powerless.

We may not be able to fix health care overnight, but we can begin where it matters most, by reclaiming what the system has quietly taken from us: our curiosity, our compassion, our courage, and our joy.

That’s how real reform begins, not in policy drafts or boardrooms, but in grounded, purpose-filled healers who remember why they chose this sacred work.

So as you prepare for your next shift, your next patient, your next breath, pause.

Remember who you are.

Remember what brought you here.

And reclaim it, again and again.

Because when physicians remember their why, the world heals a little faster.

Tomi Mitchell is a board-certified family physician and certified health and wellness coach with extensive experience in clinical practice and holistic well-being. She is also an acclaimed international keynote speaker and a passionate advocate for mental health and physician well-being. She leverages over a decade of private practice experience to drive meaningful change.

Dr. Mitchell is the founder of Holistic Wellness Strategies, where she empowers individuals through comprehensive, evidence-based approaches to well-being. Her career is dedicated to transforming lives by addressing personal challenges and enhancing relationships with practical, holistic strategies.

Her commitment to mental health and burnout prevention is evident through her role as the host of The Mental Health & Wellness Show podcast. Through her podcast, Dr. Mitchell explores topics related to mental fitness and stress reduction, helping audiences achieve sustainable productivity while avoiding burnout.

Dr. Mitchell is also an author. Her book, The Soul-Sucking, Energy-Draining Life of a Physician: How to Live a Life of Service Without Losing Yourself, addresses the unique challenges faced by health care professionals and provides actionable solutions for maintaining personal well-being in demanding careers.

Dr. Mitchell’s expertise and advocacy have been recognized in her role as an executive contributor to USA Today, Thrive Global magazine, KevinMD, OK! Magazine, and Brainz Magazine, as well as across various television and radio platforms, where she continues to champion holistic wellness and mental health on a global scale.

Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn, and book a discovery call to explore how she can support your wellness journey. For those interested in purchasing her book, please click here for the payment link. Check out her YouTube channel for more insights and valuable content on mental health and well-being.

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