Patient frustration is something many of us carry home at the end of the day. Much of that frustration, however, isn’t personal; it’s structural.

Many patients don’t realize that different primary care models are designed to deliver fundamentally different experiences. They expect concierge-level access and time within insurance-based practices. They want same-day appointments, unhurried visits, and immediate physician availability, regardless of the model they’re in. And when we can’t deliver what the model doesn’t support, they assume we’re not trying hard enough.

This expectation gap is quietly fueling physician burnout. We internalize structural limitations as personal failures. We work harder to compensate for constraints we didn’t create. The problem isn’t that patients are unreasonable. It’s that we’ve never educated them about how primary care models actually work.

The mismatch we absorb daily

In traditional insurance-based primary care, we manage panels of 2,000 to 3,000 patients. We schedule visits every 15 to 20 minutes. We prioritize volume to meet productivity targets.

Within these constraints, we do remarkable work. We diagnose accurately. We manage chronic disease. We coordinate care across specialists. We respond to patient messages between visits, often unpaid.

But we can’t deliver what many patients want: same-day appointments for nonurgent concerns, 45-minute conversations about prevention, immediate text responses.

Same-day access for nonurgent concerns is impossible when we’re scheduled every 15 minutes with 25 to 30 patients daily. Forty-five-minute preventive conversations aren’t economically viable when reimbursement requires high patient volume. These aren’t failures of dedication. They’re consequences of how the model is built. But patients don’t know this because we’ve never explained it.

What’s rarely explained to patients

Most patients assume primary care is primary care. They don’t know that the experience they want (easy access, unhurried time, direct communication) is what direct primary care and concierge models are specifically designed to provide.

Direct primary care practices typically maintain much smaller patient panels and structure care to include same-day access and direct physician communication as core features. Concierge practices offer similar access with additional services. These aren’t luxury upgrades. They’re structurally different models designed to deliver what insurance-based models can’t.

When patients don’t understand these differences, they compare their insurance-based experience to a neighbor’s concierge experience and conclude that their doctor doesn’t care. They ask why we can’t just answer their text. They wonder why getting an appointment takes three weeks.

We absorb their frustration as personal criticism. We try harder. We stay later. We burn out trying to deliver concierge-level access within a model that makes it structurally impossible.

Why we don’t have this conversation

There are reasons we hesitate to explain these differences.

We worry it sounds like we’re making excuses. We fear patients will hear “I can’t help you” instead of “this model wasn’t designed for what you need.” We don’t want to seem like we’re selling something or pushing patients toward options they can’t afford.

And frankly, we don’t have time. Explaining the structural landscape of primary care doesn’t fit into a 15-minute visit already packed with medication reconciliation, screening questions, and documentation. So we absorb the frustration instead. We apologize for wait times we can’t control. We feel guilty for boundaries we didn’t set. We carry the weight of a mismatch we never created.

The conversation we’re not having

I think about the physician who told me she was working 60-hour weeks and still felt like she was “failing patients constantly” because she couldn’t offer same-day appointments.

When I pointed out that she was practicing in a productivity-based model with a typical insurance panel size, and that same-day access requires the much smaller panels that direct care models maintain, her response was immediate: “Why don’t we tell patients this? Why do I keep feeling guilty for something the model makes impossible?”

That’s the question more of us should be asking.

We’ve built multiple models of primary care with fundamentally different structures, yet we’ve left patients to navigate these differences without explanation. They arrive with concierge expectations in insurance-based models. We burn out trying to overcome impossibilities through sheer effort.

The frustration many patients express isn’t really about us. It’s about a mismatch between the care experience they need and the model they’re in, a mismatch we never helped them understand.

Perhaps the question isn’t how to work harder within these constraints. Perhaps it’s whether we’re willing to have the conversation about what different models actually deliver and let patients decide which trade-offs fit their lives.

Clarity about care structures won’t solve every problem in medicine. But it may help patients stop blaming themselves, and help physicians stop internalizing failures that were built into the system long before either of us walked into the exam room.

Ronke Dosunmu is a physician and coach.