The silence felt heavy on the other end of the phone line. I waited a few seconds, and it dawned on me: He wasn’t ready. This moment, each in our own worlds was a defining point in our journey.
Twenty seconds earlier, I had just shared the following with him, “We are ready for hospice.” But he clearly wasn’t. Or maybe he was and just couldn’t verbalize it. He paused after …
At age 33, I got my first job as an outpatient pediatric attending. With great pay, nice coworkers, and exceedingly better hours than in training, to everyone around me, I had finally “landed.” Soon after I began working, however, I woke up with trepidation every morning, forcing myself to get out of bed.
Why wasn’t I relishing the fruits of my labors? After all this time, I no longer trailed the …
I recently came across a number for the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline. It took me back to my first pregnancy and postpartum experience.
I belong to a traditional family where there is an expectation of bearing a child after a year of marriage. No one prepares the couple for it. No one talks about any challenges during pregnancy and after the child is born.
It was no different …
“In their hearts, her daughters just wanted their mother to make the most of the time she had left. She never made it to the beach or hugged her grandchildren. From diagnosis to death, it was two short months. During those weeks, she waited for test results, went back and forth …
Day 1. I spent Thursday, my day off, golfing. Friday, I was scheduled to see patients and do surgery on the non-English-speaking mother of a patient I delivered a long time ago (who I didn’t really remember). She remembered me, though, and brought her mother from an hour away to see me. But as I coughed and felt slightly feverish, I realized that I had not felt well …
Many providers enter medicine to comfort patients and their loved ones. However, much of what I do doesn’t live up to that intention. In the past few months and particularly the past few weeks, I’ve spent most of my afternoons making little difference in the course of my patients’ hospital stays, and instead of having multiple conversations with the loved ones of these ill patients, providing daily updates, reiterating expectations …
“It’s time to flip the script on evaluations. How can we shine a light upon the strengths of the wonderful peers we are blessed to work with? How can we amplify their greatness, help them work in their own zone of genius? How can we recognize that we all have different, …
A guest column by the American Society of Anesthesiologists, exclusive to KevinMD.
“I am so ashamed. I am truly sorry to anyone I hurt or offended.”
These were the first words Beverly said when I met her in the preoperative holding area before surgery. She was referring to her recent behavior during an episode of …
Work dread. Even if you didn’t know it had a name, you know the feeling. It is that sensation in the pit of your stomach when you realize that the start of your workday or workweek is fast approaching, and you don’t want it to come. Sometimes it begins on Sunday afternoon when you want to be enjoying time with your family. Other times, you might find yourself sitting in …
Three years ago, I was a physician in the “traditional” medical system seeing 25 to 28 patients every day. I spent hours writing notes to provide proper documentation for the correct billing code. Often, my time was spent calling insurance companies to justify the appropriateness of my medical care. More and more hours were spent on completing tasks for insurance companies rather than patient care. Like many of my colleagues, …
“It is a time to ponder on those essential questions: What is your purpose in life, and how can you follow it? What talents can you share with the world, and what are you grateful for? When we deviate from this true calling, when we deviate from love, from creativity, our …
Facts combat fear
It’s hard to believe the first COVID-19 vaccine was administered in the U.S. only a year and a half ago. Like many others, I welcomed the COVID-19 vaccine as a triumph of global cooperation that leveraged decades of research and a beacon of hope that life could eventually return to normal. Yet I was so surprised the first time a pregnant patient told me …
I cry often enough that my kids almost gleefully expect it, checking me for tears during movies or shows, shaking their heads in mock dismay when they see that their prediction is correct. I’ve cried many times at home, watching screens, reading books, talking on the phone, and at work, where I am a doctor who cannot always suppress my emotions. And I’ve cried in front of health care providers …
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Twenty-six hours into the shakes, sweats, crawling anxiety, and gripping nausea of opioid withdrawal, Faye caves in and takes a couple of fentanyl tabs. She knows that she must tough out a couple of days without fentanyl to start Suboxone (buprenorphine/naloxone) through a medication-assisted treatment program, but the sickness gets the better of her. Those couple of tablets reset the clock on her withdrawal.
Starting buprenorphine – an evidence-based …
“2022 is well underway, and we are still unclear about exactly where this virus is headed and what the lasting impact it will have had on all of us. We have self-driving cars, drones delivering food, and most of us spend our entire day on video calls, and the rest on …
“And when we speak, we are afraid our words will not be heard nor welcomed, but when we are silent, we are still afraid, so it is better to speak remembering we were never meant to survive.”
– Audre Lorde
Like Audre Lorde, I would rather be afraid and speak my truth than choke on my silence. Often, as I navigate my journey through medicine, I feel as though …
Do you feel EMR charting is a burden? Do you struggle to complete your notes on time? If you answered yes to one of those, you’re not alone!
Doctors spend, on average, 16 minutes in their EMR for each outpatient encounter. This represents several hours of your time each week! Writing comprehensive notes is a requirement in our practice for …
I always got my contacts from Costco, and it constantly felt like a chore. Like any child made to go on errands with their parents, Costco was my eye-rolling-moan-inducing trip.
I realized my eyes were inadequate in third grade while reciting the Hail Mary. I was a little distracted as my blue and green plaid skirt was all twisted and the scratchy green sweater vest a little too tight. Despite years …
“I don’t want to be alive anymore.”
My friend Margot was despondent. Her lips quivered. Her eyes, normally the shape of almonds, folded themselves into little triangles when she cried. This kind and gentle woman of 62 years – my neighbor – was undeniably at her lowest point. I was sharing a couch with her during my junior year of college as her composure crumpled before me.
I first met Margot when …
This article is sponsored by the Academy for Continued Healthcare Learning. Visit the CME activity and Clinical Inertia Assessment Tool. This activity is supported by an educational grant from Lilly.
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