I was first diagnosed with major depressive disorder as a preteen after my teenage sister died. I attempted suicide three years later. This would be the first of several attempts and the first of countless times I felt my life was not worth living. But I am not unique.
According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), 1 person dies by suicide every 11 minutes.
My depression is like …
Surviving medical school with depression
“Interviewing for medical schools was intense, excruciating, and terrifying. Despite the difficult questions, there are three that stand out to me. The first was to differentiate sympathy from empathy, where I spent 30 minutes defending my answer to be met with complete silence. He could have asked me anything, yet he sat …
How to keep your optimism in medicine [PODCAST]
This is not a story about the before. It is about the after.
When I blew the whistle on the gender harassment I experienced and witnessed within my workplace, I naively thought doing so would help. I thought opportunities and experiences for women would get better. I thought it would be worth the risk.
And yet, two years into the after, I am still struggling. My experience taught me that I am …
Questions of a canceled whistle-blower
“Mid-career colleagues: it’s time to go back to the future.
Time to learn again. Time to build professional and social networks at work. Take a lunch break. Bring home a few fewer RVUs.
I recently started a monthly journal club for our small section of gastroenterologists as a way to recreate some of what …
Attention mid-career physicians: Let’s find our ikigai [PODCAST]
“COVID was ominously not only drowning people in their own spit but struck in different shades to alter human personality that kept helplessly getting lost in the maze of their own minds. It made the young maniacal, hearing voices and talking to walls in a schizophrenic frenzy. It made the elderly become …
Unmasking the faces of COVID: pages from a neurologist’s diary [PODCAST]
I was looking forward to March 2020. My boyfriend and I had a long-awaited vacation to Aruba we were looking forward to. Everything is packed, plans are finalized, and the world shuts down three days before our trip. Frustrated, we refuse to believe that a “virus” is worthy of shutting the world down. “What’s the difference between this and anything else?” “Who cares? It’s just a virus?!” “I am still …
Being the angel of death during a pandemic
The landscape of medical practice has changed dramatically over the many decades I have been in practice. Most of these changes are intensely discouraging and depressing and are negatively affecting the physicians of today. The government, hospitals, networks, even our own professional organizations are working to establish and enforce new regulations — new hoops for doctors to jump through, mainly in the furtherance of their profit and their power over …
Why I became a doctor: reflections on a calling
You’ve heard of the emotional impact of menopause on women, but did you know that it can also cause anxiety and depression? Mental health is a topic that many people don’t want to discuss due to concerns of stigma, fear, and perceived repercussions of the diagnosis. However, if this topic is raised with compassion and understanding, the patient will likely become more comfortable and open to the conversation. I found …
The emotional impact of menopause on women
“We all go through our early lives in the S-curve of our medical education–college, medical school, residency, early practice. As you reach the mastery phase, I would posit that there is a downward dip as we realize that we are no longer in that exciting hypergrowth phase. The search for a new …
Physicians and the midlife dip [PODCAST]
My friend (I’ll call him Dr. Mensch) reached out to me because he fears that a gender war is unfolding in his division. He is worried that current cultural concerns about gender equity are degrading the previously harmonious relations between male and female professionals on his team and that the mounting tension could have a negative impact on patient care.
Mensch told me that several female physicians, including residents and fellows, …
Mansplaining in medicine and how to solve it
It’s a well-known fact that medical school has grown increasingly competitive over the past decade. While this is true that getting into medical school has become somewhat harder, what is more concerning is that for many students, admission to, and paying for, medical school does not guarantee a career as a physician. A critical part of becoming a physician is graduate medical education, or residency. It is well-known that there …
Bracing for change: the escalating importance of USMLE Step 2
“We won’t know until 2022 or later whether there will be an increase in claims related to the pandemic. When a medical error occurs, it’s not like an automobile accident. Everybody nearby knows when there’s been an automobile accident because they hear screeching tires, a loud crash, and then sirens. But when …
Malpractice claims from the COVID-19 pandemic [PODCAST]
Being a medical student in a family that does not have any doctors, honestly, has many perks. Although I may not have all the experience a tenured physician has in diagnostics and clinical management, I recognize the importance my current exposures in medicine give me in addressing the concerns of my family members. While answers may not always come to me immediately when I’m asked things like, …
Please don’t ask about my test scores, Mom
How is your ego serving you?
Medicine is a hierarchical entity. More so in surgery.
There is a linear line of command from the chief to the junior to the intern to the med student to the aspiring med student.
“Shit rolls downhill,” we said as interns while we powered through the 29th-hour on-call or the seven pending discharge summaries we had to finish, while a nurse was yelling or paging us 12 …
“We know this is true in our hearts and minds, but we also know it to be true in documentable terms. Studies have proven that strong, empathic engagement between doctors and their patients increases patients’ willingness to report symptoms and concerns. That in turn improves diagnostic accuracy. Empathy increases patient engagement …
Love is the strongest medicine [PODCAST]
“How do we combat all these beliefs that can make doctors into bad investors? I have a few thoughts.
First of all, don’t panic. Most of us are indeed starting behind the eight-ball when it comes to wealth accumulation. But even with a shorter runway, physicians make enough money to make up for …
Why doctors are such bad investors and how real estate can help [PODCAST]
It sounds like a long time, but it really wasn’t. It was actually a very short period of time. My perspective of time changed with this number. I was close to my 9th birthday when my dad passed. He was only 48, and he had been diagnosed with lymphoma only a few years earlier. He passed after losing his battle to cancer. I remember saying my goodbyes in the hospital …
When Elvis Presley rolled up his sleeve and received the polio vaccine backstage at The Ed Sullivan Show in 1956, most Americans knew about it. At the time, the only stars hotter than rock ‘n’ roll itself were Presley, the genre’s de facto king, and Sullivan, the host who brought its biggest headliners to the American people.
By 1957, polio incidence dropped by 85 to 90 percent because …
Our niche world demands a new approach to health
“These are extraordinary times. Leaders have the opportunity to seize the day, to lean into this turning point in health care delivery, to drive organizational transformation, and to emerge from the devastation of the pandemic with an organization in which patients and clinicians thrive.
You simply have to ask yourself, are you willing …
Health care leaders’ roles in pandemic recovery: Caring for caregivers [PODCAST]
High pitched alarms, low pitched beeps, the rhythmic inhale and exhale of the ventilator – those were the sounds in my emergency department one year ago. There were no kids running down the hall, no friends making light of their 50-something-year-old friend whose LeBron James delusions resulted in an ER visit and sutures, and no, not even worried family members.
Texas, like much of the country, was headed for …
America’s path to reopening: an emergency physician’s perspective
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