At seventeen, I envisioned two types of physicians: the doctor who cared about me and my needs, and the doctor who was cold and detached. At that point in my life, I had experienced both types of physicians from the patient perspective. My dream was to become a physician. I wanted to be the empathetic doctor, the one who saw the patient as a person. I aspired to become the …
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It was 2:21 a.m., and the pager exploded in my ear like I had forgotten to turn the volume down before plugging in my headphones. The nurses told me your heart rate was getting faster, and your oxygen was dipping lower. When I made it to your room, you were laying in urine because you were too weak to stand. Your breathing was rapid and shallow, like you were caught …
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She was an ICU downgrade. Hospice care is what they told me. We added her name to our list, and my senior resident told me she was now my patient. I did not have a clear story. Sepsis? Complications? The ICU note was lengthy. Rounds were coming up, and I needed to see all my patients.
I went into her room. She was breathing slow. Oxygen saturation dipping. Unconscious. I asked …
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