Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Wimpy Parent Syndrome, and allowing your child to get mad and cry

Michael Gonzalez, MD
Patient
March 30, 2011
Share
Tweet
Share

I woke up in the middle of the night last night and I could not fall back asleep.  I had a moment of brilliance laying there in bed.  I had discovered a new medical disorder, Wimpy Parent Syndrome (WPS).

For years I have been seeing it in clinical practice, but have been unable to put my finger on exactly what was taking place.  Then the idea of WPS came to me and everything seemed to make sense.  Unfortunately, this morning I Googled WPS and discovered that I am several years too late.  Someone has already coined the phase and provided some very good explanations of what WPS actually is.  Oh well, so much for fame and fortune.

So what is WPS?  It is a parenting technique where parents fear making decisions that may upset their child.  They are loving parents that have the best intentions, but they have bought into the idea that “good” parenting and having their child get mad, cry, or angry are not compatible with one another.

WPS becomes very prominent when it is time to stop the bottle or pacifier.  It is well known that staying on the bottle or pacifier too long tends to cause dental problems.  At some point parents should stop giving their toddler these things.  I recommend stopping the bottle by 12 months and the pacifier by 18 months.  For parents with WPS, this is extremely stressful.  Children are creatures of habit and do not like change, and the parent recognizes that making these changes will create an emotional reaction in the child.  The parent will reply, “I can’t take the paci away, he needs it.”  Let’s examine this.  I am fairly confident that, if the parent took the pacifier away, the child could not drive to Walmart and purchase a new one.  I am also pretty sure there is no physical reason why a child would “need” to have one.  So what the parent is truly saying is, “I am scared that taking it away will make my child upset.”   Welcome to parenting!

Parenting is full of tough decisions, and many of them will make your child upset.  Do not fear this.  It is called parenting for a reason.  Not to embrace this fact and to allow your child to grow up believing that he can control his external environment by becoming angry, crying, or throwing a tantrum, is asking for trouble.  I am convinced that WPS creates some very poorly behaved children.

Do not get me wrong.  I am not advocating that parents become unreasonable, abusive, or neglectful.  I am suggesting all parents step back and analyze their role as the parent.  It is possible to be loving and create a healthy emotional environment for your children, without letting the child controlling the family with his emotions.  You can take the beloved pacifier away.  You can let you child get mad and cry.  He will eventually realize that he is not getting it back. This is alright and it does not make you a bad parent.  In fact, it probably makes you a good one.

Michael Gonzalez is a pediatrician who blogs at The Anxious Parent.

Submit a guest post and be heard on social media’s leading physician voice.

Prev

Medical ethics at hospitals and medical schools in China

March 30, 2011 Kevin 3
…
Next

Why medical students should be passionate about health reform

March 30, 2011 Kevin 10
…

Tagged as: Patients, Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Medical ethics at hospitals and medical schools in China
Next Post >
Why medical students should be passionate about health reform

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Michael Gonzalez, MD

  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    When is the right time to introduce solid foods to an infant’s diet?

    Michael Gonzalez, MD
  • How a pediatrician advises parents on sleep training their children

    Michael Gonzalez, MD
  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    Formula and the placebo effect on your baby

    Michael Gonzalez, MD

Related Posts

  • Sleep and the medical profession have an uneasy relationship

    Yoo Jung Kim, MD
  • Medical school and the science of sleep

    Sarah Murad
  • How to combat imposter syndrome in medical school

    Margaret Hogan Smoot
  • Don’t use stimulants to cram for exams. It ruins sleep and doesn’t help test scores.

    Sara C. Mednick, PhD
  • Advocating for a sick parent by confronting physician bias

    Erin Paterson
  • Imposter syndrome and COVID: a medical student perspective

    Kimia Zarabian and Mai Hasan

More in Patient

  • AI’s role in streamlining colorectal cancer screening [PODCAST]

    The Podcast by KevinMD
  • There’s no one to drive your patient home

    Denise Reich
  • Dying is a selfish business

    Nancie Wiseman Attwater
  • A story of a good death

    Carol Ewig
  • We are warriors: doctors and patients

    Michele Luckenbaugh
  • Patient care is not a spectator sport

    Jim Sholler
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • How New Mexico became a malpractice lawsuit hotspot

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
    • Why doctors are reclaiming control from burnout culture

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • Why medical schools must ditch lectures and embrace active learning

      Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA | Education
    • Why public health must be included in AI development

      Laura E. Scudiere, RN, MPH | Tech
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
    • Why flashy AI tools won’t fix health care without real infrastructure

      David Carmouche, MD | Tech
  • Recent Posts

    • Why medical schools must ditch lectures and embrace active learning

      Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA | Education
    • Why helping people means more than getting an MD

      Vaishali Jha | Education
    • How digital tools are reshaping the doctor-patient relationship

      Vineet Vishwanath | Tech
    • Why evidence-based management may be an effective strategy for stronger health care leadership and equity

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Why health care leaders fail at execution—and how to fix it

      Dave Cummings, RN | Policy
    • Residency match tips: Building mentorship, research, and community

      Simran Kaur, MD and Eva Shelton, MD | Education

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 10 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • How New Mexico became a malpractice lawsuit hotspot

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
    • Why doctors are reclaiming control from burnout culture

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • Why medical schools must ditch lectures and embrace active learning

      Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA | Education
    • Why public health must be included in AI development

      Laura E. Scudiere, RN, MPH | Tech
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
    • Why flashy AI tools won’t fix health care without real infrastructure

      David Carmouche, MD | Tech
  • Recent Posts

    • Why medical schools must ditch lectures and embrace active learning

      Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA | Education
    • Why helping people means more than getting an MD

      Vaishali Jha | Education
    • How digital tools are reshaping the doctor-patient relationship

      Vineet Vishwanath | Tech
    • Why evidence-based management may be an effective strategy for stronger health care leadership and equity

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Why health care leaders fail at execution—and how to fix it

      Dave Cummings, RN | Policy
    • Residency match tips: Building mentorship, research, and community

      Simran Kaur, MD and Eva Shelton, MD | Education

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Wimpy Parent Syndrome, and allowing your child to get mad and cry
10 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...