Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

An adult relationship with my patients

Rick Lippin, MD
Physician
October 25, 2011
Share
Tweet
Share

As a physician, I believe it is time that doctors stop shaking their fingers at patients and scolding them for “misbehaving and not complying.”

Most patients are adults and are increasingly educated and need to be treated that way by their doctors. Also access to previous “secret guild information” that doctors possessed has been profoundly altered by open access to high quality medical information on the Internet.

Also when I interact with my patients as adults, instead of scolding them as “children” I encourage them to enjoy life and engage in what I call responsible pleasures like exercise, laughing, the arts, healthy and responsible sexuality and many other pleasures. I tell them that quality of life is probably much more important than quantity. That the good life is indeed measured not necessarily in length of years but experiences contained in those years. So “more life in years becomes more important that years in life”.

My approach with my patients has evolved over 35 years of medical practice into giving patients, first permission and then encouragement, to responsibly enjoy themselves without unnecessary guilt. I emphasize what they “can” do instead of what they “can’t.” I call these “behavioral prescriptions” –instead of, or in addition to pills, as a prescription.

One older depressed man who was my patient was struggling with health, family and financial issues told me with gratitude that I was the first person in his entire life of 70 years who ever told him it was ok for him to cry. We then both then smiled in harmony, with mutual respect and in a moment of mutual healing.

Finally, I have come to believe that the most important obligation that I have, as a physician, is to help my patients to become themselves. Healing powers then flows from that achievement.

The excesses of paternalism in my practice of medicine have been replaced by a much more rewarding adult to adult relationship with my patients. Not shaking my finger at them or scolding them as “children” has helped them and me more than you can imagine.

This I believe.

Rick Lippin is a physician. 

Submit a guest post and be heard on social media’s leading physician voice.

Prev

Evidence based medicine removes a physician’s autonomy

October 24, 2011 Kevin 21
…
Next

The power of gut feeling in cancer screening

October 25, 2011 Kevin 2
…

Tagged as: Patients, Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Evidence based medicine removes a physician’s autonomy
Next Post >
The power of gut feeling in cancer screening

ADVERTISEMENT

More in Physician

  • When cancer costs too much: Why financial toxicity deserves a place in clinical conversations

    Yousuf Zafar, MD
  • The hidden rewards of a primary care career

    Jerina Gani, MD, MPH
  • Why doctors regret specialty choices in their 30s

    Jeremiah J. Whittington, MD
  • 10 hard truths about practicing medicine they don’t teach in school

    Steven Goldsmith, MD
  • How I learned to love my unique name as a doctor

    Zoran Naumovski, MD
  • What Beauty and the Beast taught me about risk

    Jayson Greenberg, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The human case for preserving the nipple after mastectomy

      Thomas Amburn, MD | Conditions
    • Nuclear verdicts and rising costs: How inflation is reshaping medical malpractice claims

      Robert E. White, Jr. & The Doctors Company | Policy
    • IMGs are the future of U.S. primary care

      Adam Brandon Bondoc, MD | Physician
    • Why I left the clinic to lead health care from the inside

      Vandana Maurya, MHA | Conditions
    • How doctors can think like CEOs [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • A surgeon’s testimony, probation, and resignation from a professional society

      Stephen M. Cohen, MD, MBA | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Health equity in Inland Southern California requires urgent action

      Vishruth Nagam | Policy
    • How restrictive opioid policies worsen the crisis

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • Why primary care needs better dermatology training

      Alex Siauw | Conditions
    • Why pain doctors face unfair scrutiny and harsh penalties in California

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • How a doctor defied a hurricane to save a life

      Dharam Persaud-Sharma, MD, PhD | Physician
    • What street medicine taught me about healing

      Alina Kang | Education
  • Recent Posts

    • Affordable postpartum hemorrhage solutions every OB/GYN can use worldwide [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • When cancer costs too much: Why financial toxicity deserves a place in clinical conversations

      Yousuf Zafar, MD | Physician
    • Psychiatrist tests ketogenic diet for mental health benefits

      Zane Kaleem, MD | Conditions
    • The hidden rewards of a primary care career

      Jerina Gani, MD, MPH | Physician
    • Why physicians should not be their own financial planner

      Michelle Neiswender, CFP | Finance
    • Why doctors regret specialty choices in their 30s

      Jeremiah J. Whittington, MD | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 5 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The human case for preserving the nipple after mastectomy

      Thomas Amburn, MD | Conditions
    • Nuclear verdicts and rising costs: How inflation is reshaping medical malpractice claims

      Robert E. White, Jr. & The Doctors Company | Policy
    • IMGs are the future of U.S. primary care

      Adam Brandon Bondoc, MD | Physician
    • Why I left the clinic to lead health care from the inside

      Vandana Maurya, MHA | Conditions
    • How doctors can think like CEOs [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • A surgeon’s testimony, probation, and resignation from a professional society

      Stephen M. Cohen, MD, MBA | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Health equity in Inland Southern California requires urgent action

      Vishruth Nagam | Policy
    • How restrictive opioid policies worsen the crisis

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • Why primary care needs better dermatology training

      Alex Siauw | Conditions
    • Why pain doctors face unfair scrutiny and harsh penalties in California

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • How a doctor defied a hurricane to save a life

      Dharam Persaud-Sharma, MD, PhD | Physician
    • What street medicine taught me about healing

      Alina Kang | Education
  • Recent Posts

    • Affordable postpartum hemorrhage solutions every OB/GYN can use worldwide [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • When cancer costs too much: Why financial toxicity deserves a place in clinical conversations

      Yousuf Zafar, MD | Physician
    • Psychiatrist tests ketogenic diet for mental health benefits

      Zane Kaleem, MD | Conditions
    • The hidden rewards of a primary care career

      Jerina Gani, MD, MPH | Physician
    • Why physicians should not be their own financial planner

      Michelle Neiswender, CFP | Finance
    • Why doctors regret specialty choices in their 30s

      Jeremiah J. Whittington, MD | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

An adult relationship with my patients
5 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...