Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

3 ways parents can partner with their pediatricians’ sex talks

Natasha Burgert, MD
Conditions
January 21, 2014
Share
Tweet
Share

A recent study in JAMA Pediatrics discovered that conversations about sexual health between a health provider and a teen patient are shockingly short (less than 40 seconds), full of bland yes/no answers, and more likely to occur if the patient is older. The research has put a glaring light on the need for better sex education opportunities during routine teen health visits.

I believe all teenagers deserve a safe place to ask questions about sexual health, and pediatricians should rise to that need. But as much as all docs would like to extensively support our teens by sharing accurate information and resources about sex and sexuality, there are very real reasons that I believe we fall short.

And, no, Dr. Boekeloo. It’s not because we’re “uncomfortable.” We are doctors, for goodness sake.

Practically, I only have a few minutes with a teenager each year. In order to make that time effective, initiating any discussion with a teen can make me feel like a quarterback calling an audible. During our visit, I will listen, ask a few questions, and then the conversation-play-call is driven by the risks I know my patient is taking. I turn to the topics of discussion I think are going to be the most heard, understood, and relevant to my patient at that moment.

So during a teen’s visit, I may find myself talking about a lots of important stuff. Drug use, smoking, sexuality, mean girls, family relationships, eating habits … Any one of those sensitive subjects could get the lion’s share of our conversation. If sexual health is only getting 40 seconds, I assure you that another important topic is getting more.

If we were all being truthful, however, I think a bigger reason some docs don’t invest the 40 seconds is simply because we have gained apathy towards the sex talks. It only takes seeing a few patients deal with the difficult repercussions of poor sexual choices — after you have counseled otherwise — to lose faith that our sex talks even matter. We start to believe that our limited time could be better spent on marijuana abuse, drinking and driving, or depression risks; subjects that can equally lead to life-long consequences, and where our words may have more influence.

So, how can we improve?

When I reflect on the most effective sexual health conversations I have experienced with teenagers, one thing has remained consistently true. My effectiveness is improved when I am pro-active support to existing family teachings and conversations that have already begun in the home.

In other words, I believe parents and pediatricians need to be sex education partners. We need to support each other to ensure that every teen has the opportunity to ask questions when needed, be provided education for clarity, and have a safe place to turn for honest conversation.

Here are 3 ways parents can partner with their pediatricians’ sex talks:

1. Let me know what you believe. We want to partner in your family’s sex-ed efforts by extending the values, teaching, and expectations of sexual health that you have begun in your home. So share with us what you are teaching so can we can reinforce these lessons in the clinic. You could do this in a letter, email, or private conversation with your doc at anytime. These lessons will change over time as your teen grows, so we expect different issues to be raised and shared as we grow together.

2. Understand our mutual responsibilities. When docs talk with teens about sex, we focus on the physical and mental health of sexual behaviors. We talk mechanics, safety, boundaries, and protection – basic biology sorts of stuff. However, foundational learning about the emotional aspects and long-term consequences of sexual activity, including religious and personal values your family may believe, takes place at home. Respecting these different roles allows a teen to be supported in different dimensions.

3. Let your teen know that they have a voice, and it is ok to use it.  Empower your teen to speak up in the office. Allow them to share their stories, explain their symptoms, and ask their questions for all sorts of clinic visits — well and sick. When they lead the conversation, they are building confidence in communicating about their health. This confidence will be critical when it comes to having honest discussions about their own sexuality and other sensitive issues when they are teens. And when it comes time to begin private conversations between a doc and your teen, let them know that it’s OK to talk to the doc. Your approval and encouragement goes a long way behind our closed door.

Teenagers deserve answers to all aspects of health, including their developing sexuality. When doctors provide a supporting role to foundational teaching in the home, the challenge to ensure this to all teens becomes a more manageable goal.

ADVERTISEMENT

Need some tips when talking about sex with your teen? Healthychildren.org has some easy suggestions. In addition, to begin the conversation even sooner, I recommend The Care and Keeping of You series for girls. 

Natasha Burgert is a pediatrician who blogs at KC Kids Doc.

Prev

Illness can redefine you

January 20, 2014 Kevin 1
…
Next

Learning from patients on a speaking tour

January 21, 2014 Kevin 3
…

Tagged as: Pediatrics

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Illness can redefine you
Next Post >
Learning from patients on a speaking tour

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Natasha Burgert, MD

  • Dear Justin Timberlake: An open letter from a pediatrician

    Natasha Burgert, MD
  • 7 things parents need to know about tampons

    Natasha Burgert, MD
  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    A letter to physicians refusing to see vaccine-hesitant families

    Natasha Burgert, MD

More in Conditions

  • Finding healing in narrative medicine: When words replace silence

    Michele Luckenbaugh
  • Why coaching is not a substitute for psychotherapy

    Maire Daugharty, MD
  • Why doctors stay silent about preventable harm

    Jenny Shields, PhD
  • Why gambling addiction is America’s next health crisis

    Safina Adatia, MD
  • How robotics are reshaping the future of vascular procedures

    David Fischel
  • How the shingles vaccine could help prevent dementia

    Marc Arginteanu, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • 2 hours to decide my future: How the SOAP residency match traps future doctors

      Nicolette V. S. Sewall, MD, MPH | Education
    • Why removing fluoride from water is a public health disaster

      Steven J. Katz, DDS | Conditions
    • When did we start treating our lives like trauma?

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • In a fractured world, Brian Wilson’s message still heals

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Physician
    • When your dream job becomes a nightmare [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How doctors took back control from hospital executives

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
    • Why shared decision-making in medicine often fails

      M. Bennet Broner, PhD | Conditions
    • My journey from misdiagnosis to living fully with APBD

      Jeff Cooper | Conditions
    • Why we fear being forgotten more than death itself

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • When your dream job becomes a nightmare [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Finding healing in narrative medicine: When words replace silence

      Michele Luckenbaugh | Conditions
    • Why coaching is not a substitute for psychotherapy

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
    • When the white coats become gatekeepers: How a quiet cartel strangles America’s health

      Anonymous | Physician
    • Why doctors stay silent about preventable harm

      Jenny Shields, PhD | Conditions
    • Why interoperability is key to achieving the quintuple aim in health care

      Steven Lane, MD | Tech

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • 2 hours to decide my future: How the SOAP residency match traps future doctors

      Nicolette V. S. Sewall, MD, MPH | Education
    • Why removing fluoride from water is a public health disaster

      Steven J. Katz, DDS | Conditions
    • When did we start treating our lives like trauma?

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • In a fractured world, Brian Wilson’s message still heals

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Physician
    • When your dream job becomes a nightmare [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How doctors took back control from hospital executives

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
    • Why shared decision-making in medicine often fails

      M. Bennet Broner, PhD | Conditions
    • My journey from misdiagnosis to living fully with APBD

      Jeff Cooper | Conditions
    • Why we fear being forgotten more than death itself

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • When your dream job becomes a nightmare [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Finding healing in narrative medicine: When words replace silence

      Michele Luckenbaugh | Conditions
    • Why coaching is not a substitute for psychotherapy

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
    • When the white coats become gatekeepers: How a quiet cartel strangles America’s health

      Anonymous | Physician
    • Why doctors stay silent about preventable harm

      Jenny Shields, PhD | Conditions
    • Why interoperability is key to achieving the quintuple aim in health care

      Steven Lane, MD | Tech

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...