Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
KevinMD
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking
KevinMD
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking
  • About KevinMD | Kevin Pho, MD
  • Be heard on social media’s leading physician voice
  • Contact Kevin
  • Discounted enhanced author page
  • DMCA Policy
  • Establishing, Managing, and Protecting Your Online Reputation: A Social Media Guide for Physicians and Medical Practices
  • Group vs. individual disability insurance for doctors: pros and cons
  • KevinMD influencer opportunities
  • Opinion and commentary by KevinMD
  • Physician burnout speakers to keynote your conference
  • Physician Coaching by KevinMD
  • Physician keynote speaker: Kevin Pho, MD
  • Physician Speaking by KevinMD: a boutique speakers bureau
  • Primary care physician in Nashua, NH | Kevin Pho, MD
  • Privacy Policy
  • Recommended services by KevinMD
  • Terms of Use Agreement
  • Thank you for subscribing to KevinMD
  • Thank you for upgrading to the KevinMD enhanced author page
  • The biggest mistake doctors make when purchasing disability insurance
  • The doctor’s guide to disability insurance: short-term vs. long-term
  • The KevinMD ToolKit
  • Upgrade to the KevinMD enhanced author page
  • Why own-occupation disability insurance is a must for doctors

How to talk to a patient with terminal cancer? Not like this.

Allen Frances, MD
Physician
October 6, 2014
Share
Tweet
Share

A friend of mine has been living well with lung cancer for five years — working, running several miles a day, traveling, doing good stuff with his family, and generally enjoying the pleasures of everyday life. He knows the cancer will eventually kill him, but has been making the most of every remaining minute.

Then, a month ago, things suddenly turned dramatically south. Severe shortness of breath, constant coughing, sleeplessness, fatigue, loss of interest, anxiety. My friend figured the jig was finally up — that he was going terminal. We all felt sad in the face of this inevitability. In our different ways, we began the painful process of saying goodbye.

Then things seemed to get even worse. I accompanied my friend to visit his lung doctor — an amiable and thorough man who spent lots of time with us, took a good history, and did many tests.

We gazed expectantly as the doctor came back into the consulting room and began gravely summarizing his findings. He brought what seemed to be terrible news: “I am really worried about you. Your oxygen saturation has dropped below 90 and your breathing is suddenly getting much worse. This kind of sudden deterioration can be caused by one of four things — pneumonitis from your previous radiation treatment, pulmonary embolism, pericarditis, or infection.”

My friend had been as low as I could imagine before the visit. But now his face went white, his mouth sagged, he began to tear, and the shortness of breath and cough became more palpable. Death seemed about to suffocate him.

“Wait a minute, doc,” I said. “I don’t understand. How about the cancer? Are you saying the cough and reduced oxygen are not caused by the cancer.”

“Right. I checked all the scans and the cancer hasn’t changed at all. It can’t be causing this.”

“And how treatable are these four new possible causes?”

“Very. We have to do some more tests to figure out which it is. Probably pneumonitis and that’s easy to treat with low dose prednisone. The other things are also very treatable. My guess is that the cough and shortness of breath should be OK in a week or two.”

With a new lease on life, my friend returned quickly from death’s door. The transformation was immediate and unmistakable — I have never seen a human being change demeanor so fast. Face filled with joy, he thanked the doctor for inspiring such confidence. There was a renewed bounce to his step as we left the office that I had never expected to see again.

And even more remarkable, my friend’s cough and shortness of breath began improving almost at once. There is a strange healing power in a doctor’s words that has allowed doctors to be useful over the millennia even when their treatments were ineffective or harmful. Reduced fear and renewed hope are wonderful medicines.

The doctor had certainly done a lot of things very right — spending substantial time with his patient, doing a careful evaluation, and that final guarantee of success.

But the doctor had done one thing that was incredibly stupid. He should have entered the room with a bright smile and said something like: “Congratulations. Great news: It’s not your cancer causing these new problems. There are four different possible explanations. With a few more tests, we can figure out which one is responsible and you should be feeling much better within a couple of weeks.”

How could a smart and caring doctor say such a dumb thing to so vulnerable a patient? Simple. We overtrain our doctors on the overvalued technical aspects of medicine and under-train them in the undervalued relational skills that have always been at the heart of healing.

Allen Frances is a psychiatrist and professor emeritus, Duke University.  He blogs at the Huffington Post.

Prev

Team-based care needs to be more than a buzzword

October 6, 2014 Kevin 2
…
Next

Patient outcomes: It's time to account for socioeconomic factors

October 7, 2014 Kevin 10
…

Tagged as: Oncology/Hematology, Pulmonology

< Previous Post
Team-based care needs to be more than a buzzword
Next Post >
Patient outcomes: It's time to account for socioeconomic factors

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Allen Frances, MD

  • #MeToo shows why women must learn sexual self-defense

    Allen Frances, MD
  • The problem of polypharmacy in psychiatry

    Allen Frances, MD
  • Pay primary care doctors what they’re worth

    Allen Frances, MD

More in Physician

  • Chronic pain management: Balancing relief and regulation

    Kayvan Haddadan, MD
  • Why modern medicine feels more like a bureaucracy than a profession

    Jeffrey Junig, MD, PhD
  • Why false accusations against doctors destroy careers

    Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD
  • Dual physician marriage: stories of love and partnership in medicine

    Deborah Shlian, MD, MBA and Joel Shlian, MD, MBA
  • First-generation physician: Navigating the first attending contract

    Sagar Chapagain, MD
  • Workplace boundaries: How to stop answering e-mails at 5 p.m.

    Yekaterina Angelova, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The dangers of vertical integration in health care

      Stephanie Waggel, MD | Policy
    • The 9 laws of health care quality: Why metrics miss the point

      Constantine Ioannou, MD | Physician
    • Navigating the patchwork of CME requirements by state

      Vladislav Tchatalbachev, MD | Physician
    • Securing physician autonomy with employer-sponsored direct primary care

      Dana Y. Lujan, MBA | Physician
    • Adult disability care transition: Why medicine must grow up

      Ronald L. Lindsay, MD | Conditions
    • Understanding the science behind embryo grading improves IVF decision making [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
  • Past 6 Months

    • Missed diagnosis visceral leishmaniasis: a tragedy of note bloat

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Conditions
    • Menstrual health in medicine: Addressing the gender gap in care

      Cynthia Kumaran | Conditions
    • The dangers of vertical integration in health care

      Stephanie Waggel, MD | Policy
    • The 9 laws of health care quality: Why metrics miss the point

      Constantine Ioannou, MD | Physician
    • Why does sex work seem like a more viable path than medicine in 2026?

      Corina Fratila, MD | Physician
    • How board certification fuels the physician shortage crisis

      Brian Hudes, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • What Match Day teaches us about unexpected life paths

      Kathleen Muldoon, PhD | Education
    • The biological cost of night-shift work on circadian rhythms

      Chinyelu E. Oraedu, MD | Conditions
    • Chronic pain management: Balancing relief and regulation

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • Why modern medicine feels more like a bureaucracy than a profession

      Jeffrey Junig, MD, PhD | Physician
    • AI agents in health care: What they say when we aren’t listening

      Alp Köksal | Tech
    • Huntington’s disease gene therapy: FDA reversal delays AMT-130

      Meghan Johnston, MPH | Meds

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 6 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The dangers of vertical integration in health care

      Stephanie Waggel, MD | Policy
    • The 9 laws of health care quality: Why metrics miss the point

      Constantine Ioannou, MD | Physician
    • Navigating the patchwork of CME requirements by state

      Vladislav Tchatalbachev, MD | Physician
    • Securing physician autonomy with employer-sponsored direct primary care

      Dana Y. Lujan, MBA | Physician
    • Adult disability care transition: Why medicine must grow up

      Ronald L. Lindsay, MD | Conditions
    • Understanding the science behind embryo grading improves IVF decision making [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
  • Past 6 Months

    • Missed diagnosis visceral leishmaniasis: a tragedy of note bloat

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Conditions
    • Menstrual health in medicine: Addressing the gender gap in care

      Cynthia Kumaran | Conditions
    • The dangers of vertical integration in health care

      Stephanie Waggel, MD | Policy
    • The 9 laws of health care quality: Why metrics miss the point

      Constantine Ioannou, MD | Physician
    • Why does sex work seem like a more viable path than medicine in 2026?

      Corina Fratila, MD | Physician
    • How board certification fuels the physician shortage crisis

      Brian Hudes, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • What Match Day teaches us about unexpected life paths

      Kathleen Muldoon, PhD | Education
    • The biological cost of night-shift work on circadian rhythms

      Chinyelu E. Oraedu, MD | Conditions
    • Chronic pain management: Balancing relief and regulation

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • Why modern medicine feels more like a bureaucracy than a profession

      Jeffrey Junig, MD, PhD | Physician
    • AI agents in health care: What they say when we aren’t listening

      Alp Köksal | Tech
    • Huntington’s disease gene therapy: FDA reversal delays AMT-130

      Meghan Johnston, MPH | Meds

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today

Copyright © 2026 KevinMD.com | Powered by Astra WordPress Theme

  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

How to talk to a patient with terminal cancer? Not like this.
6 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...