Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Angry? Welcome to being a doctor. And here’s how to fix it.

Jordan Grumet, MD
Physician
March 23, 2017
Share
Tweet
Share

It will start as a minor curiosity. Maybe a student will seem slightly too close to the resident on your team. When the grades are posted, you’ll wonder why you didn’t get honors, but he did. You might wallow for a few days. Make an offhanded comment to your fellow students. Then you’ll let it go and move on. Or so you think. Until during surgery when the scrub nurse rips into you to make a point to the rest of your peers. And then the surgeon does the same to her in the operating room.

There will be other times. During residency, you will roll your eyes when you realize your co-intern is sick again, and you’re up for all the admissions. You will curse the medical student who created the cockeyed explanation and scared the heck out of the frightened social admit in room 5. You might not yell. You might not lose your cool. But rage will boil over from time to time. You may let it loose on the radiology tech who is refusing to get up in the middle of the night and do your stat study.

And you will find yourself yelling uncontrollably at the cowering patient who pulled you out of the examining room with the young guy with melanoma who was finally willing to talk about hospice because she forgot to ask a question thirty minutes ago during her appointment.

When you look into her tear soaked eyes, a hard reality will come upon you. You are angry. You have been for years. Rage is constantly simmering below the surface scalding you and those you interact with.

You have truly become a doctor.

My advice is simple. Forgive yourself. Remember that that medical student who undercut you was wallowing in much the same way as you. The surgical scrub nurse had felt a hundred times the abuse from the surgeon who was still scarred from his own training. Your fellow resident was actually sick and spent all night puking in the bathroom. The radiology tech hadn’t slept well for weeks. The secretary had been cursed out by the patient for not making room in your schedule. The anxious patient was suffering, and the ER attending was trying to be compassionate.

And yes, the young melanoma guy is dying and no one is dealing with it.

Then shrug your shoulders, exhale and decide to turn the anger into love and understanding.

Life is much better that way.

Jordan Grumet is an internal medicine physician who blogs at In My Humble Opinion. Watch his talk at dotMED 2013, Caring 2.0: Social Media and the Rise Of The Empathic Physician. He is the author of Five Moments: Short Works of Fiction and I Am Your Doctor: and This Is My Humble Opinion.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Lawyers have no business in the field of advance care planning

March 23, 2017 Kevin 0
…
Next

A physician-mother on maternity leave learns how she can't ignore her job

March 23, 2017 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Lawyers have no business in the field of advance care planning
Next Post >
A physician-mother on maternity leave learns how she can't ignore her job

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Jordan Grumet, MD

  • The man who changed the world with baseball cards

    Jordan Grumet, MD
  • A hospice doctor’s advice on getting your finances in order

    Jordan Grumet, MD
  • A story of persistence in the face of death

    Jordan Grumet, MD

Related Posts

  • On the internet, you are looking for something to make you angry

    Judson Ellis
  • Patients made this doctor care about politics

    Chad Hayes, MD
  • Osler and the doctor-patient relationship

    Leonard Wang
  • Why health care replaced physician care

    Michael Weiss, MD
  • Finding a new doctor is like dating

    R. Lynn Barnett
  • Doctor, how are you, really?

    Deborah Courtney

More in Physician

  • Why so many doctors secretly feel like imposters

    Ryan Nadelson, MD
  • Why enterprise risk management is key to value-based health care success

    Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD
  • Rethinking physician resilience for sustainable well-being

    Sarah Webber, MD
  • How shared language saved a patient from isolation

    Syed Ahmad Moosa, MD
  • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

    Curtis G. Graham, MD
  • The physician who turned burnout into a mission for change

    Jessie Mahoney, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

      Curtis G. Graham, MD | Physician
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • Harassment and overreach are driving physicians to quit

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Why so many doctors secretly feel like imposters

      Ryan Nadelson, MD | Physician
    • Why peer support can save lives in high-pressure medical careers

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
  • Recent Posts

    • Why so many doctors secretly feel like imposters

      Ryan Nadelson, MD | Physician
    • Why telling kids to eat less and move more fails to address obesity

      Callia Georgoulis | Conditions
    • Why enterprise risk management is key to value-based health care success

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Rethinking physician resilience for sustainable well-being

      Sarah Webber, MD | Physician
    • How shared language saved a patient from isolation

      Syed Ahmad Moosa, MD | Physician
    • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

      Curtis G. Graham, MD | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

      Curtis G. Graham, MD | Physician
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • Harassment and overreach are driving physicians to quit

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Why so many doctors secretly feel like imposters

      Ryan Nadelson, MD | Physician
    • Why peer support can save lives in high-pressure medical careers

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
  • Recent Posts

    • Why so many doctors secretly feel like imposters

      Ryan Nadelson, MD | Physician
    • Why telling kids to eat less and move more fails to address obesity

      Callia Georgoulis | Conditions
    • Why enterprise risk management is key to value-based health care success

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Rethinking physician resilience for sustainable well-being

      Sarah Webber, MD | Physician
    • How shared language saved a patient from isolation

      Syed Ahmad Moosa, MD | Physician
    • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

      Curtis G. Graham, MD | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...