Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

The culture of perfection in medicine is a disease

Andy Cruz, MD
Education
July 27, 2018
Share
Tweet
Share

I was always worried about doing well on board exams. I didn’t want to simply pass them; I wanted to excel. Before I took exams, rumor had it that a person would have to intentionally fail Step 1, 2, or 3 and that failing Step 2 CS was virtually impossible. The truth, I learned, is that thousands of physicians-to-be fail one of these exams every year.

I know, because I’m one of them.

I was on an away rotation when I received an email stating that my score report for Step 2 CS was ready. I almost didn’t open it, not because I was nervous but because I was sure I had passed. I had done well in medical school and was doing an elective at a prestigious Ivy League school. How could I possibly fail? Confident, I decided to check my score much later in the day.

And when I did: FAIL. I couldn’t believe it. How could this happen? I felt angry, scared, and really confused.

Ready to prove myself, I rescheduled the test for a week later. I flew across the country after a 24-hour shift to retake the exam. I was exhausted, but this time, I passed.

Reflecting now, I have been recovering for the last four years.

This may sound dramatic to those who are not health care professionals, but it is ingrained in us that these exams are the key to success. They are the keys to living where you want, specializing in your field of choice, and training at the institution of your dreams. That’s right, all those years of work come down to a couple of tests. So, when your performance is less than stellar, it feels like a lifetime of work and potential success crumbles.

The other piece is that “failure” is the Voldemort of medical training. The illusion of perfection is part of the hidden curriculum. We are expected to work up to eighty hours a week, excel in our studies, maintain exemplary physical and mental health, tend to our own families and loved ones, and care for patients, all while acting as if it’s easy. The truth is that being a doctor is actually quite extraordinary. Appreciating that can help you be more kind to yourself.

My advice to those of you who have “failed” at some point in medical training is to continue on. No one will ever remember your failures or your less-than-exceptional performance on an exam. They will remember how you held yourself when faced with adversity.

This point brings me to the greater, and more significant, truth: physicians are imperfect people. We are the physically and mentally ill, the regretful, the self-doubting, the shamed. And, we are the healers. Both are true. Both are important.

I ended up matching at Massachusetts General Hospital in psychiatry for residency, where I have excelled clinically and academically, and have been awarded for my strength in teaching. I think most of my colleagues would be surprised to learn about my failed exam. Although my shortcomings are plentiful, I strive to wake up and care for patients in the most authentic, informed way I can every day.

The culture of perfection, in my opinion, is a disease. It contributes to physician suicide, mental illness, burnout, and poor patient care. The way to treat it is simple: share your imperfections with those you trust. If you’ve made a mistake, do not hide it; apologize and continue on. If you need support, ask for it. Doctors can unite, not in our sham perfection, but in our genuine faults.

Andy Cruz is a psychiatrist. This article originally appeared in Doximity’s Op-(m)ed.

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

The consequences of taking patients at their word

July 26, 2018 Kevin 17
…
Next

Tips for fellowship applicants from a program administrator

July 27, 2018 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: Medical school, Psychiatry

Post navigation

< Previous Post
The consequences of taking patients at their word
Next Post >
Tips for fellowship applicants from a program administrator

ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

  • The culture of permission in medicine

    Lauren Joseph
  • The difference between learning medicine and doing medicine

    Steven Zhang, MD
  • How social media can advance humanism in medicine

    Pooja Lakshmin, MD
  • Promote a culture of medical school peer education

    Albert Jang, MD
  • From online education to frontline medicine

    Diana Ioana Rapolti, Deepika Khanna, Vivian Jin, and Shikha Jain, MD
  • Medicine won’t keep you warm at night

    Anonymous

More in Education

  • Why clinical research is a powerful path for unmatched IMGs

    Dr. Khutaija Noor
  • Dear July intern: It’s normal to feel clueless—here’s what matters

    Tomi Mitchell, MD
  • Why medical schools must ditch lectures and embrace active learning

    Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA
  • Why helping people means more than getting an MD

    Vaishali Jha
  • Residency match tips: Building mentorship, research, and community

    Simran Kaur, MD and Eva Shelton, MD
  • How I learned to stop worrying and love AI

    Rajeev Dutta
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • Harassment and overreach are driving physicians to quit

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Why peer support can save lives in high-pressure medical careers

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
    • When a medical office sublease turns into a legal nightmare

      Ralph Messo, DO | Physician
    • Addressing menstrual health inequities in adolescents

      Callia Georgoulis | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

      Curtis G. Graham, MD | Physician
    • Clinical ghosts and why they haunt our exam rooms

      Kara Wada, MD | Conditions
    • High blood pressure’s hidden impact on kidney health in older adults

      Edmond Kubi Appiah, MPH | Conditions
    • Deep transcranial magnetic stimulation for depression [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How declining MMR vaccination rates put future generations at risk

      Ambika Sharma, Onyi Oligbo, and Katrina Green, MD | Conditions
    • The physician who turned burnout into a mission for change

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 1 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • Harassment and overreach are driving physicians to quit

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Why peer support can save lives in high-pressure medical careers

      Maire Daugharty, MD | Conditions
    • When a medical office sublease turns into a legal nightmare

      Ralph Messo, DO | Physician
    • Addressing menstrual health inequities in adolescents

      Callia Georgoulis | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • The shocking risk every smart student faces when applying to medical school

      Curtis G. Graham, MD | Physician
    • Clinical ghosts and why they haunt our exam rooms

      Kara Wada, MD | Conditions
    • High blood pressure’s hidden impact on kidney health in older adults

      Edmond Kubi Appiah, MPH | Conditions
    • Deep transcranial magnetic stimulation for depression [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How declining MMR vaccination rates put future generations at risk

      Ambika Sharma, Onyi Oligbo, and Katrina Green, MD | Conditions
    • The physician who turned burnout into a mission for change

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

The culture of perfection in medicine is a disease
1 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...