Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

The culture of perfection in medicine is a disease

Andy Cruz, MD
Education
July 27, 2018
Share
Tweet
Share

I was always worried about doing well on board exams. I didn’t want to simply pass them; I wanted to excel. Before I took exams, rumor had it that a person would have to intentionally fail Step 1, 2, or 3 and that failing Step 2 CS was virtually impossible. The truth, I learned, is that thousands of physicians-to-be fail one of these exams every year.

I know, because I’m one of them.

I was on an away rotation when I received an email stating that my score report for Step 2 CS was ready. I almost didn’t open it, not because I was nervous but because I was sure I had passed. I had done well in medical school and was doing an elective at a prestigious Ivy League school. How could I possibly fail? Confident, I decided to check my score much later in the day.

And when I did: FAIL. I couldn’t believe it. How could this happen? I felt angry, scared, and really confused.

Ready to prove myself, I rescheduled the test for a week later. I flew across the country after a 24-hour shift to retake the exam. I was exhausted, but this time, I passed.

Reflecting now, I have been recovering for the last four years.

This may sound dramatic to those who are not health care professionals, but it is ingrained in us that these exams are the key to success. They are the keys to living where you want, specializing in your field of choice, and training at the institution of your dreams. That’s right, all those years of work come down to a couple of tests. So, when your performance is less than stellar, it feels like a lifetime of work and potential success crumbles.

The other piece is that “failure” is the Voldemort of medical training. The illusion of perfection is part of the hidden curriculum. We are expected to work up to eighty hours a week, excel in our studies, maintain exemplary physical and mental health, tend to our own families and loved ones, and care for patients, all while acting as if it’s easy. The truth is that being a doctor is actually quite extraordinary. Appreciating that can help you be more kind to yourself.

My advice to those of you who have “failed” at some point in medical training is to continue on. No one will ever remember your failures or your less-than-exceptional performance on an exam. They will remember how you held yourself when faced with adversity.

This point brings me to the greater, and more significant, truth: physicians are imperfect people. We are the physically and mentally ill, the regretful, the self-doubting, the shamed. And, we are the healers. Both are true. Both are important.

I ended up matching at Massachusetts General Hospital in psychiatry for residency, where I have excelled clinically and academically, and have been awarded for my strength in teaching. I think most of my colleagues would be surprised to learn about my failed exam. Although my shortcomings are plentiful, I strive to wake up and care for patients in the most authentic, informed way I can every day.

The culture of perfection, in my opinion, is a disease. It contributes to physician suicide, mental illness, burnout, and poor patient care. The way to treat it is simple: share your imperfections with those you trust. If you’ve made a mistake, do not hide it; apologize and continue on. If you need support, ask for it. Doctors can unite, not in our sham perfection, but in our genuine faults.

Andy Cruz is a psychiatrist. This article originally appeared in Doximity’s Op-(m)ed.

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

The consequences of taking patients at their word

July 26, 2018 Kevin 17
…
Next

Tips for fellowship applicants from a program administrator

July 27, 2018 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: Medical school, Psychiatry

Post navigation

< Previous Post
The consequences of taking patients at their word
Next Post >
Tips for fellowship applicants from a program administrator

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

  • The culture of permission in medicine

    Lauren Joseph
  • The difference between learning medicine and doing medicine

    Steven Zhang, MD
  • How social media can advance humanism in medicine

    Pooja Lakshmin, MD
  • Promote a culture of medical school peer education

    Albert Jang, MD
  • From online education to frontline medicine

    Diana Ioana Rapolti, Deepika Khanna, Vivian Jin, and Shikha Jain, MD
  • Medicine won’t keep you warm at night

    Anonymous

More in Education

  • How dismantling DEI endangers the future of medical care

    Shashank Madhu and Christian Tallo
  • What’s driving medical students away from primary care?

    ​​Vineeth Amba, MPH, Archita Goyal, and Wayne Altman, MD
  • In the absence of physician mentorship, who will train the next generation of primary care clinicians?

    Kenneth Botelho, DMSc, PA-C
  • The moment I knew medicine needed more than science

    Vaishali Jha
  • A faster path to becoming a doctor is possible—here’s how

    Ankit Jain
  • Medical students in Korea face expulsion for speaking out

    Anonymous
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • What’s driving medical students away from primary care?

      ​​Vineeth Amba, MPH, Archita Goyal, and Wayne Altman, MD | Education
    • Make cognitive testing as routine as a blood pressure check

      Joshua Baker and James Jackson, PsyD | Conditions
    • How scales of justice saved a doctor-patient relationship

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • The hidden cost of delaying back surgery

      Gbolahan Okubadejo, MD | Conditions
    • Rethinking patient payments: Why billing is the new frontline of patient care [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The broken health care system doesn’t have to break you

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • What’s driving medical students away from primary care?

      ​​Vineeth Amba, MPH, Archita Goyal, and Wayne Altman, MD | Education
    • What happened to real care in health care?

      Christopher H. Foster, PhD, MPA | Policy
    • Internal Medicine 2025: inspiration at the annual meeting

      American College of Physicians | Physician
    • The hidden bias in how we treat chronic pain

      Richard A. Lawhern, PhD | Meds
    • A faster path to becoming a doctor is possible—here’s how

      Ankit Jain | Education
    • Residency as rehearsal: the new pediatric hospitalist fellowship requirement scam

      Anonymous | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • The hidden cost of malpractice: Why doctors are losing control

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
    • How scales of justice saved a doctor-patient relationship

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • Rediscovering the soul of medicine in the quiet of a Sunday morning

      Syed Ahmad Moosa, MD | Physician
    • An introduction to occupational and environmental medicine [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Does silence as a faculty retention strategy in academic medicine and health sciences work?

      Sylk Sotto, EdD, MPS, MBA | Conditions
    • Why personal responsibility is not enough in the fight against nicotine addiction

      Travis Douglass, MD | Conditions

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 1 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • What’s driving medical students away from primary care?

      ​​Vineeth Amba, MPH, Archita Goyal, and Wayne Altman, MD | Education
    • Make cognitive testing as routine as a blood pressure check

      Joshua Baker and James Jackson, PsyD | Conditions
    • How scales of justice saved a doctor-patient relationship

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • The hidden cost of delaying back surgery

      Gbolahan Okubadejo, MD | Conditions
    • Rethinking patient payments: Why billing is the new frontline of patient care [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The broken health care system doesn’t have to break you

      Jessie Mahoney, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • What’s driving medical students away from primary care?

      ​​Vineeth Amba, MPH, Archita Goyal, and Wayne Altman, MD | Education
    • What happened to real care in health care?

      Christopher H. Foster, PhD, MPA | Policy
    • Internal Medicine 2025: inspiration at the annual meeting

      American College of Physicians | Physician
    • The hidden bias in how we treat chronic pain

      Richard A. Lawhern, PhD | Meds
    • A faster path to becoming a doctor is possible—here’s how

      Ankit Jain | Education
    • Residency as rehearsal: the new pediatric hospitalist fellowship requirement scam

      Anonymous | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • The hidden cost of malpractice: Why doctors are losing control

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
    • How scales of justice saved a doctor-patient relationship

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • Rediscovering the soul of medicine in the quiet of a Sunday morning

      Syed Ahmad Moosa, MD | Physician
    • An introduction to occupational and environmental medicine [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Does silence as a faculty retention strategy in academic medicine and health sciences work?

      Sylk Sotto, EdD, MPS, MBA | Conditions
    • Why personal responsibility is not enough in the fight against nicotine addiction

      Travis Douglass, MD | Conditions

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

The culture of perfection in medicine is a disease
1 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...