An infectious disease physician says: Stay the F@$k at home

In honor of one of the great classic novels, Go the F**k to Sleep, I would like to present to you my literary work: Stay the F@$k at Home.

To the healthy 20 year old who asks, “Why should I stay the F@$k at home, COVID-19 is not going to kill me?”

I ask: Do you want to kill your nana and grand-pops?

No?

Then stay the F@$k at home.

To the workaholic 25 year old who asks, “Why should I stay the F@$k at home, it’s just the sniffles?”

I first say I get you. My threshold for calling in sick is a brain tumor.

Then I ask: Do you want to kill the CEO of your company, thus leaving you without that job you have worked so hard to earn?

No?

Then stay the F@$k at home.

To the 35 year old who says, “I’ve worked really hard to climb the corporate ladder and earn all this money. Why should I have to lose money by staying at home?”

I ask: Is this event you want to go to so important you are willing to risk spreading the very mild case of COVID-19 you have to someone without an immune system?

Yes?

Really?

OK, another way to ask that question: Do you want to kill kids with cancer?

No?

Then stay the F@$k at home.

To the 50 year old with asthma who says, “I’ve heard on the news that this is a hoax, so I’m going to go out wherever I want.”

I say: One of the hard parts of being a doctor is taking care of patients I vehemently disagree with. I truly want you to stay healthy, so please, please, stay the F@$k at home

To my 70-year-old mother who says, “But I’m basically healthy, can’t I just go play with my grandchildren?”

I ask: Do you want to be there when your grandchildren graduate from college?