Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

A medical student’s 100 days of COVID

Priyanka Shindgikar
Conditions
August 27, 2020
Share
Tweet
Share

March 11, 2020. The medical school officially made all classes remote until the end of the semester. Tom Hanks and his wife have coronavirus. The NBA is suspended; Utah Jazz player Rudy Gobert has corona. Travel to Europe is suspended. The renal midterm can be postponed if you choose. Not going home anymore. I don’t want my parents to get it because of me. I had to cancel Spain. What are the people experiencing abuse going to do? What about people in rural areas with no hospitals close by? A whole year has passed in one hour.

On March 12, I told my parents I would not be coming home for Spring break. A few days later, my mom, out of genuine fear, asked me, “Priyanka, do you really want to be a doctor? Do you really want to go through with this?” At the time, I laughed, but they were such valid questions. The amount of helplessness I felt was surprising to me, but this experience pushed me even more to continue on this career path.

Since I decided not to travel, I chose to thoroughly enjoy my Spring break. This was easier for me because I am an introvert, and I needed to replenish my fuel tank after a crazy week. I cleaned my apartment inside out, organized my clothes, pampered myself, read a lot, and more. I treasured this time even though it was in the middle of a pandemic because, ironically enough, I felt like I was starting medical school afresh after a tough start. Although it may seem like I was in a bubble, I was still keeping up with the news, my friends, and my family. Constantly, I reminded myself of how fortunate I was. I was safe, my parents were safe, we had a roof over our heads, my loan interest had decreased, I could order food whenever I wanted, and I was living a pretty similar life. This was not the case for everyone, and for that plus more COVID never was nor will be “the great equalizer.”

For the next two months, my journal pretty accurately recounts the ups and downs of my thoughts as I attempted to make sense of everything. Reading articles of doctors being “deployed” and their day-to-day on the frontlines was hard. It was harder when health care professionals started passing away due to COVID. On the one hand, the community was clapping for the bravery and service of healthcare workers, but on the other hand, health care workers were being treated as dispensable by not getting the proper PPE to their jobs safely. That was heartbreaking.

A huge struggle that I processed internally was speaking up about the misinformation floating around. I always thought that a majority of people believed science as truth; I soon realized that was not the case. I had to learn how to effectively communicate with people about coronavirus because they were looking to me for answers. I started learning how to meet people at their different levels of understanding and emotions during a time where information, opinions, and feelings were constantly changing. Part of it was communicating that I didn’t have the answers. It was frustrating, but I learned a lot. I eventually consulted a dean at my school about this level of communication, and he told me, “seek to understand, then be understood.” I keep that in the back of my mind at all times.

I decided to finally visit home. My parents treated me like a microorganism in their home for the first few days, which was an all-around weird and funny experience. I was in my routine trying to finish out the school year, which was just two weeks away. Then, George Floyd died. You know how they say you’ll never forget where you were or how you felt when you hear life-changing news? I can create the perfect picture of when 9/11 happened when I found out I got into medical school, when a family member had an emergent medical case, and when I learned about George Floyd’s death.

May 27, 2020. Disgusted. Traumatized. Stunned. I have pages and pages of journal entries of my anger, my reflections, and my fears. I believe that the time we are in with COVID-19 — people at home in their thoughts and people of all backgrounds directly feeling the injustices of the system — has forced many to actually start listening and internalizing what the Black community has been saying for hundreds of years. It’s going to take a long time, but new conversations are opening up, and that is hopeful.

June 5, 2020. Finished the first year of medical school!

The first 100 days of COVID made me confront and reflect on a lot of aspects of myself and life, as philosophical as that sounds. Often times, I’m exhausted talking about COVID every single day and frustrated because we should be in a much better place right now as a nation. The wound is still fresh, and it deeply hurts to see more people suffering due to a lack of proper health care infrastructure and guidance as an underlying cause rather than the virus itself. I remind myself to be mindful, be kind to myself, allow myself to feel whatever I want without holding back emotions, and stay present. Emotional ups and downs are a part of life, but how you process them matters. It has also given me a glaring reminder that life is not guaranteed. It has reminded me that medical school is only a facet of my life, and the rest of my life is happening now. So why do we say, I’ll do that after I’ve reached “X” stage in my life? Within reason, just do it, and you won’t regret it.

Writing this has given me a lot of peace and clarity, and I hope whoever is reading this can reflect on their experience to gain some level of calm.

Priyanka Shindgikar is a medical student.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Physician personal development and growth [PODCAST]

August 26, 2020 Kevin 0
…
Next

The final insult after my husband died alone

August 27, 2020 Kevin 1
…

ADVERTISEMENT

Tagged as: COVID, Infectious Disease

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Physician personal development and growth [PODCAST]
Next Post >
The final insult after my husband died alone

ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

  • Imposter syndrome and COVID: a medical student perspective

    Kimia Zarabian and Mai Hasan
  • Medical student rotations amid COVID: Welcome to medicine little grasshopper

    Heather Delaney, MD
  • What inspires this medical student

    Jamie Katuna
  • How running a 100-mile ultramarathon made me a better medical student

    Jonathan Pan
  • Why this medical student tutors

    Michelle Ikoma
  • A medical student finds a reason to dance

    Nikita Mittal

More in Conditions

  • Why PSA levels alone shouldn’t define your prostate cancer risk

    Martina Ambardjieva, MD, PhD
  • Reframing chronic pain and dignity: What a pain clinic teaches us about MAiD and chronic suffering

    Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD
  • America’s ER crisis: Why the system is collapsing from within

    Kristen Cline, BSN, RN
  • Why timing, not surgery, determines patient survival

    Michael Karch, MD
  • Why psychotherapy works and why psychotherapy fails

    Peggy A. Rothbaum, PhD
  • How oral health silently affects your heart, brain, and body

    Charles Reinertsen, DMD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why timing, not surgery, determines patient survival

      Michael Karch, MD | Conditions
    • Why health care leaders fail at execution—and how to fix it

      Dave Cummings, RN | Policy
    • How digital tools are reshaping the doctor-patient relationship

      Vineet Vishwanath | Tech
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • The hidden health risks in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act

      Trevor Lyford, MPH | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Why point-of-care ultrasound belongs in every emergency department triage [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why PSA levels alone shouldn’t define your prostate cancer risk

      Martina Ambardjieva, MD, PhD | Conditions
    • How to handle chronically late patients in your medical practice

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • Reframing chronic pain and dignity: What a pain clinic teaches us about MAiD and chronic suffering

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • How early meetings and after-hours events penalize physician-mothers

      Samira Jeimy, MD, PhD and Menaka Pai, MD | Physician
    • Why medicine must evolve to support modern physicians

      Ryan Nadelson, MD | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why timing, not surgery, determines patient survival

      Michael Karch, MD | Conditions
    • Why health care leaders fail at execution—and how to fix it

      Dave Cummings, RN | Policy
    • How digital tools are reshaping the doctor-patient relationship

      Vineet Vishwanath | Tech
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • The hidden health risks in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act

      Trevor Lyford, MPH | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Why point-of-care ultrasound belongs in every emergency department triage [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why PSA levels alone shouldn’t define your prostate cancer risk

      Martina Ambardjieva, MD, PhD | Conditions
    • How to handle chronically late patients in your medical practice

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • Reframing chronic pain and dignity: What a pain clinic teaches us about MAiD and chronic suffering

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • How early meetings and after-hours events penalize physician-mothers

      Samira Jeimy, MD, PhD and Menaka Pai, MD | Physician
    • Why medicine must evolve to support modern physicians

      Ryan Nadelson, MD | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...