What it’s like to be pregnant in a pandemic [PODCAST]

Listen and followApple PodcastsSpotifyYouTubeMore apps · Browse all episodes

“What has kept me comprised during this entire time has been the realization that this whole situation is not normal. It’s not normal for me; it’s not normal for millions of other people. This is not how pregnancy is supposed to go. This is a pandemic and an uncertain time for everyone. Many of us have caved under pressure, either it is financial, or the risk of exposure to a high-risk individual at home, or the fear of losing your friends and family. Each of us has reasons to be afraid. Being pregnant is just one of them and should be considered that way. It is important to acknowledge the unfamiliarity of this all and be thankful for what we have. I am thankful for supportive family, friends, and colleagues who have supported me (virtually) and practically in so many ways. I am thankful for the many work from home days, where I have felt so exhausted to get out of bed. I am thankful for health and food on my table, and my heart goes out to those who haven’t been fortunate enough. And with that, I am also hopeful for better days, and a healthy child.”

Saba Fatima is a pediatric hospitalist.

She shares her story and discusses her KevinMD article, “What it’s like to be pregnant in a pandemic.”

Did you enjoy today’s episode?

Please click here to leave a review for The Podcast by KevinMD. Subscribe on your favorite podcast app to get notified when a new episode comes out!

Do you know someone who might enjoy this episode? Share this episode to anyone who wants to hear health care stories filled with information, insight, and inspiration.

Hosted by Kevin Pho, MD, The Podcast by KevinMD shares the stories of the many who intersect with our health care system but are rarely heard from.

Transcript

Kevin Pho: Hi, and welcome to the show, where we share the stories of the many who intersect with our health care system but are rarely heard from. My name is Kevin Pho, founder and editor of KevinMD. Today on the show, we have Saba Fatima. She is a pediatric hospitalist, and she wrote the KevinMD article “What it’s like to be pregnant in a pandemic.” Saba, welcome to the show.

Saba Fatima: Thanks for having me.

Kevin Pho: So we’ll get into your article in a little bit, but first off, can you share your story and your journey to where you are today?

Saba Fatima: Well, I was born and raised originally in Karachi, Pakistan, and I did my medical school training over there at Dow Medical College. Then I moved to Philadelphia to get my residency training in pediatrics. Currently, I work as a pediatric hospitalist in Wichita, Kansas, at Wesley Children’s Hospital, and then I work as faculty with the KU School of Medicine. I work with residents and medical students, which I enjoy a lot.

I enjoy writing. I have been writing since I was 12 or 13 years of age, so it’s really my passion, and stories are how I connect with people.

Kevin Pho: Wonderful. And we are speaking in the week before Thanksgiving. From your lens as a pediatric hospitalist, how’s the pandemic affecting what you’re seeing?

Saba Fatima: So I guess when the pandemic started, what we were seeing was kind of unusual. Our census dropped remarkably. There were only three or four patients on our pediatric floor, which is very, very unusual, and we thought it’s probably because of the lockdown and social distancing, and kids are not really meeting each other, so no infectious diseases. The other part could be that people are scared to come to the ER and get care. But as things started opening up, we are back to our usual flow.

It would be interesting to see, though: RSV and flu season is coming up in pediatrics, and we haven’t seen any cases yet, so I don’t know what that’s going to look like with all the physical distancing that’s in place. But now, here in Kansas, we are seeing some COVID-positive pediatric patients, but fortunately, we haven’t seen a lot of sick patients, which is fortunate.

Kevin Pho: All right, so let’s get into your KevinMD article, “What it’s like to be pregnant in a pandemic.” Now, for those who haven’t read that article, can you just share your story and walk my audience through it, and maybe share why you decided to write it?

Saba Fatima: Well, I’d say I decided to write it out of fear. I found out I was pregnant when the pandemic hadn’t started, really, so that was pretty smooth, and then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, there’s this pandemic, and we know nothing about it. So at that time, we didn’t know anything about this virus: how it’s transmitted, is it airborne, is it droplet, should we wear masks, should we not wear masks.

And where I was, the testing was very limited, so they were asking us to conserve the testing. So we didn’t know the risk of exposure. We would go to the hospital, but we would wear a regular mask, another N95. Everything was really uncertain, and obviously, we didn’t even know how it would affect pregnant women and children as well. At that time, the CDC had said that pregnant women are vulnerable and high risk, but we didn’t really know. We didn’t have any data.

So I guess whenever we go to the hospital, we feel like it’s always about the patients. You’re always thinking about the patients: “I want to do better for the patients.” And you’re cavalier about your own self. For the first time, I would say, in whatever years I’ve been in practice, I felt fearful about my own safety, and I was terrified. I wrote about an event where I was exposed to a patient who was possibly COVID, and I wasn’t wearing proper PPE at that time, and I came home and I was terrified because, to be honest, I don’t know how my body was, how immunosuppressed I am. This is new for me, and I didn’t know how it would affect my child.

So yeah, I wrote this article so that I felt like people could connect with me and see if anyone is going through the same, how scary it was to be pregnant at that time, and to be, I mean, not frontline: I was going to the hospital every day. Pediatrics was not really frontline, but still, going to the hospital every day. I think that was what it was all about.

And just one more thing that I wrote in the article: I always thought that being pregnant will not take anything away from me, like I won’t be taking days off work, because I’ve seen in my career that people will sometimes misjudge you if you are pregnant or if you have children. They’ll be saying, “Oh, she’s slacking,” or whatever. I mean, that’s probably my internal thinking. So I always thought this will never take away from me, being pregnant, and then came COVID, and then I was like, “OK, this is the time I have to think about my own safety first.” I guess I had to ask for a lot of favors and not see COVID patients, and fortunately, I was in a supportive environment, but this is not what I had imagined it would be like.

Kevin Pho: So you’re a pediatric hospitalist, and you were pregnant. Did you have enough PPE? And you mentioned some of the support that you had, so administration and your institution were very supportive of your situation at that time.

Saba Fatima: I think they had enough PPE, but they were asking us to conserve it. I remember when the pandemic had started, they were saying even if it’s a patient under investigation or a COVID-positive patient, unless there is no aerosolizing procedure, you’re only supposed to wear a surgical mask. I don’t know if they’re still saying that now, but yeah, that was the thing, and that was scary for me, because we don’t even know if this is airborne, right? Because even if we had PPE, they were asking us to conserve it. They were asking us to conserve the testing. So at that time, I think, yeah, that was bad.

But yes, I was supported. I was told that I shouldn’t be taking care of the patients who are suspected for COVID or who have COVID, but it’s kind of hard in a hospital setting, because I was working alone on a weekend, and I had a patient. I didn’t want to call another colleague just to see that one patient. So it’s a hard balance, but I do feel that I was supported, and towards the end, I took a lot of calls from home. So yeah, I’m lucky like that.

Kevin Pho: Now, through your journey, what are some lessons that you’ve learned, and is there any advice that you could pass on to the other pregnant women who may be listening, especially as we’re talking now in the middle of November and we are in the midst of a third wave of the pandemic?

Saba Fatima: Yeah, definitely. I think I wrote that in my article too. Along with being a physician, there was also the normal stuff, right? Your family is not here, your friends are not here, you don’t get a baby shower. It might be just regular stuff, but it was all disappointing, and you’re socially isolated, basically. So that’s very hard. I think it was really taking a toll on my mental health unless I had to stop and recognize that this is not normal, and this is not how it was supposed to be. This pandemic is an abnormality as such. And when I had that realization, when I let myself be disappointed, I think that’s when I felt better.

Because before, I was just trying to be, I would say, like, “It’s OK. This is OK. I shouldn’t, people are dying, I shouldn’t be thinking about myself,” right? But I think my message to everyone is that everyone is being disappointed one way or the other, and I think you should let yourself feel that disappointment and be thankful for what you have. Because someone is going through economic losses, someone is losing a job, someone has lost a family member, and someone is pregnant. It’s hard, and you just have to let that sink in and acknowledge that this is not normal.

Kevin Pho: You wrote your article back in July, and now we know a little bit more about COVID-19. Now, from a pregnancy standpoint, what are some precautions and cautions that pregnant women need to take during the pandemic?

Saba Fatima: I just think now we know that PPE works. That’s my thing. At that time, we didn’t know, because we work in a two-physician home, and my husband has been at the front line. He’s been taking care of COVID-positive patients, and we knew that he was working, he was doing it when we had a newborn, and he was using PPE, and it works. I would say just taking the regular precautions that everyone is taking: wearing your adequate PPE, sanitizing yourself, and, if you’re going to the grocery store, taking all the necessary precautions. I think that’s the best thing that you can do.

And usually, I think now, the thing about if you go to the hospital, you might have to quarantine from your baby if you have COVID, all those things: I usually recommend to everyone that the first one or two weeks before you deliver, you should probably be at home. And I think a lot of providers, a lot of administration, have been supportive, and they’re letting pregnant physicians take a back seat in the last few weeks before labor.

But yeah, I think I’m more satisfied because I know PPE works, because at that time, we had to make a decision if I should quarantine from my husband, because he’s taking care of COVID-positive patients. But he was my only social support, because we had no friends, no family, so we decided not to do that, and I think it was a good decision.

Kevin Pho: We’re talking to Saba Fatima. She is a pediatric hospitalist, and she wrote the KevinMD article “What it’s like to be pregnant in a pandemic.” On the show, I talk to a lot of dual-physician families, and they have kids, and similar to your situation, obviously, you have a newborn, and you mentioned that you were married to a frontline physician as well. Now, I was wondering if you could share any advice. What has worked for your family, and do you have any advice for the other dual-physician families also on the front lines with children at home?

Saba Fatima: I think it’s your personal choice, because I know when it started, for a lot of people, one of the persons was living in the basement, and they were quarantining from their kids. So it really depends on your personal choice. We as a family decided we did not want to do that because, morbid as it sounds, I thought, what if one of us gets COVID, and we just have a few days left with each other, and we are going to spend those isolating? It sounds really morbid, but we don’t want to spend those isolating from each other.

So what has worked for us is we’re really cautious about our precautions. When my husband would come, he would shower or anything before touching the baby at all. Even if I’m exhausted, I don’t let him touch the baby before he’s totally scrubbed out of his gear, and I do the same. And yeah, we didn’t decide to quarantine from each other. I think it’s a personal preference, but I think for us, we were missing out on some good moments if we had decided to do that. So, just being extra cautious around the baby.

And I feel a little better because I work in pediatrics, and I know it doesn’t affect kids that much. I’ve seen it in personal practice, so that’s the relaxation at the back of my mind as well.

Kevin Pho: Now, after going through your experience and knowing what you know now, is there anything that you wish you knew back before the pandemic started that you know now?

Saba Fatima: There are more exhausting days than rewarding ones. And I don’t know if this is related to the pandemic, but I guess when you start working, when you’re a medical student, you have this thing that every day you’ll be coming out as a hero, and you’ll be saving a life, and you’ll have that adrenaline, and every day will be so rewarding. But this is actually not true. There are so many days that pull you down, and this pandemic is an example of it.

And what I know now is that I will do what I’m passionate about, because a lot of times, you do things to fill up your CV. You’re saying yes to so many things that you don’t want to do, right? I feel like life is so fragile. I just want to do things that matter to me. If I had a lifespan of, like, five years, 10 years, I want to do stuff that matters to me and not keep saying yes to things that don’t. I think that’s what I’ve learned from this pandemic.

Kevin Pho: And my final question: What is your take-home message that you want to leave with the KevinMD audience?

Saba Fatima: I would say be kind to yourself. There was something that somebody told me a while ago, and it has really changed my life, because they said, “Be kind to yourself, and if you’re not, who else is going to be?” So just acknowledging that this is hard, this pandemic is hard, and then we’re all in this together, and giving yourself a little bit of laxity is very important in this pandemic, or afterwards as well. We just have to look out for ourselves a little bit, and if we do, that’s when we can be good physicians and take care of our patients as well. So yeah, just be kind to yourself.

Kevin Pho: Well, thank you so much for sharing your time and insight, and thanks again for being on the show.

Saba Fatima: Thank you. Thanks for having me.

Listen and followApple PodcastsSpotifyYouTubeMore apps · Browse all episodes