Do you remember times when your dreams, hopes, and aspirations were crushed by teachers and other authority figures? We’ve all encountered such times. These experiences shape our character in negative ways and can lead to devastating psychological effects. This kind of negative influence can greatly impact our self-esteem and self-worth, instilling a deep-seated fear of failure. It can cause us to question our abilities and potential, leading to imposter syndrome.

Repeated discouragement may cause us to develop a negative outlook on life, feel hopeless, and lose motivation to pursue our goals. Furthermore, defeating encounters with authority figures can result in an aversion to them, which can affect our future interactions and relationships. The psychological trauma caused by such experiences can hinder personal growth and development, stifling our potential to thrive. It is, therefore, crucial to seek out positive role models who will foster a supportive and encouraging environment to nurture our dreams and aspirations instead of crushing them.

I know first-hand that if a premedical advisor tells you, “You’ll never get into medical school,” the psychological impacts can be profoundly damaging. Such negative feedback can shatter your self-confidence, potentially giving up on your dream of becoming a doctor.

Worse yet, you might develop anxiety or depression due to the perceived rejection and the seeming impossibility of achieving your goal. This sense of hopelessness can further lead to a decline in academic performance and a lack of motivation to pursue your aspirations. The impact of discouraging words from a trusted advisor can be long-lasting and detrimental, stifling your potential and hindering your personal and professional development.

It’s important to note that a premedical advisor’s role should be to guide and support you, not discourage you. Constructive feedback can be helpful, but it should be offered in a way that encourages improvement rather than causes demotivation. If you are as determined as I was to pursue a career in medicine, you should seek second opinions, take advantage of resources and support systems, and continue to work hard towards your goal.

“You’ll never get into medical school” was a defeatist comment uttered by my premedical advisor in my junior year of college. She made the statement in the context of my grades – a B+ average – and for taking the bare minimum of science courses. She was correct. I was roundly rejected by all medical schools on my first go-around. But I was determined to prove her wrong – and I did!

I did something unorthodox. I called a doctor who had interviewed me, and I asked for his advice. Not only did he accept my phone call, but he also extended a welcoming invitation to discuss my situation over morning coffee at his home (we lived in the same city). He said he remembered me from the interview and he enjoyed reading my application essay, but my grades and MCAT scores needed to improve. He suggested that during my gap year, I do what was necessary to boost my grade point average and MCAT scores, and if I were successful, he would present me to the admissions committee. His advice worked, and I was offered admission.

I count my lucky stars that an admissions officer would reach out to me and provide clear guidance and genuine hospitality. No other medical school offered me admission on my second try. If it weren’t for the kindness of strangers, I probably wouldn’t have become a doctor. Of course, I persevered and had the chutzpah to contact him during my gap year and keep him abreast of my progress, but this physician more than met me halfway.

I understand that the journey towards becoming a medical professional can be filled with various challenges, including discouragement from others. It’s essential to know that this does not define your potential or ability to succeed in your medical career. Your journey into medicine is unique to you, and your potential is not defined by the negative comments of others. I have several strategies to help you navigate through such situations.

Maintaining a positive mindset is your first line of defense against discouragement. The power of positivity can help you stay focused on your goals and not let negativity hinder your progress. It’s also beneficial to seek mentorship from seasoned professionals, teachers, or anyone who can provide valuable guidance and encouragement. They can offer insights and advice that will help you navigate your path to medical school.

If you find that certain areas of your application need improvement, don’t hesitate to address them. Whether it’s working towards better grades, gaining clinical experience, or refining your personal statement, every improvement counts. Preparing for the MCAT is also critical, as a high score can significantly increase your chances of acceptance.

Remember to broaden your horizons when applying to medical schools. Different schools have different selection criteria, and you might find an institution that values your unique strengths, even if it’s overseas. Persistence is key in this journey. Setbacks are inevitable, but it’s your resilience and determination that will ultimately determine your success.

Lastly, the importance of self-care cannot be overstated. During this demanding period, taking care of your mental and physical health is vital. It’s cliché to say, but regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient rest will help you remain focused and motivated on your journey.

Always remember that many successful medical professionals have faced similar obstacles and discouragement. It’s essential not to let the opinions of others deter you from your dreams. You are the only one who can shape your future, whether it be in the medical field or elsewhere.

Arthur Lazarus is a former Doximity Fellow, a member of the editorial board of the American Association for Physician Leadership, and an adjunct professor of psychiatry at the Lewis Katz School of Medicine at Temple University in Philadelphia, PA. He is the author of Every Story Counts: Exploring Contemporary Practice Through Narrative Medicine, Medicine on Fire: A Narrative Travelogue, and Narrative Medicine: The Fifth Vital Sign.