The McLaughlin 360 Evaluation: preparation (part one)

Have you ever heard the expression, “The truth will set you free”? Well, it might. But before it sets you free, it’s probably going to piss you off.

If you are seriously interested in self-improvement, you have to ask hard questions. And then listen!

About a year ago, I embarked on a personal exercise to learn how to be a better leader and person. I began by asking for my own job review, a 360-degree evaluation.

I learned about them from Tim Ferriss and other business leaders and decided I would attempt to launch one on myself. I spent a few weeks reviewing samples that were out there, cherry-picking questions, and then asked my coach, Jim Harshaw, to help me set up the skeleton survey.

The plan was to send the survey out to 30-40 of my friends and colleagues to get their feedback on my performance in medicine, coaching, and leading our non-profit Trenton Youth Wrestling.

Before launching the survey, I wondered if I would get any useful answers. Several business leaders told me that most of these evaluations do not elicit truly open and honest feedback. But that’s what I wanted!

I never liked the “You’re doing well” kind of feedback. It served no purpose. I was looking for the kind of responses I didn’t want to hear but should. It’s understandable that people will rarely tell the whole truth when offering feedback, particularly those who might feel it would put their jobs at risk or sour their opportunities for promotion. To head off this built-in problem with such surveys, I added some unique questions at the end to encourage honesty about my performance as a leader – and as a friend and colleague.

Here are the four questions that turned this exercise from perfunctory to profound:

• What has Mark ever said or done to you or to someone in your presence that made you cringe?
• What would you say to Mark if you could say anything without fear of reprisal, retaliation, or permanent damage to your relationship?
• If Mark was on his deathbed and you had one minute to say something to him, what would it be?
• What has Mark said to you that you will never forget…or forgive?

I felt some trepidation using those going-for-the-jugular questions at the end of the review, but if you know me, you know that I crave introspective conversation. As Joseph Campbell taught us in The Hero with a Thousand Faces, the cave that you are most afraid of entering holds the treasure you are seeking!

The answers I got from this survey blew me away.

The McLaughlin 360 Evaluation: the results (part 2)

Mark needs to listen more.

Mark yelled at the nursing staff even though they may have deserved it.

Mark can be quick to judge.

Mark should seek tools to improve his organizational skills.

What? My first reaction was … “That’s impossible! I haven’t yelled at a nurse in …” Then it was more like … “Well, it’s been a long time, but not never.” Quick to judge? Really?

Sure, there were positive comments too, but I wanted to hear and understand the negative feedback. I knew that would teach me much more. If you’ve ever had trouble receiving negative feedback, I suggest the book Thanks for the Feedback by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen. It has helped me determine what was wheat or chaff in the feedback process.

Some people recalled statements that I made to them—word for word—that I had absolutely no recollection of. That concerned me, but even worse, some of those statements had a profoundly negative impact on them. I realize that memories can get foggy, but if that’s what they remembered, that’s what their reality was, even if I had said (or meant) something different.

For example, one of the respondents said that when he was recovering from a serious head injury, he asked me if he was going to have any further recovery. Since the accident had been two years ago, I told him that he was at maximal medical improvement. This is a term doctors frequently use because, generally, the recovery from a brain injury tends to be at its maximum at this post-injury mark. Although it was medically accurate, my friend (probably rightly) interpreted the statement as “You are as good as you’re ever going to get.”

He was deeply troubled by his interpretation and remained so until I got this feedback from him on this 360-degree evaluation eight years after I gave him my short-sighted, insensitive response! Thank goodness he was strong enough to overcome this conversation. And, in fact, he proved me wrong. He improved far more and is currently seeking a PhD in statistics!

Seeing these comments and specific recollections of discussions I did not remember made me realize that I really needed to pay more attention and be more aware and more precise in communicating with others.

Now, I’m not saying that I need to be more careful about what I say. I want to say what’s on my mind and be as open and honest as I can. But I had to realize that sometimes when I speak my mind, my words may not be heard in the context I want them to be.

I’ve had 12 months to digest those answers and ponder what I have learned and am still learning. Initially, I was surprised and a little hurt. My immediate thought was that’s not me. They must not have heard me right or taken what I was saying the wrong way.

Now that I’ve had time to sit with those answers, the greatest lesson of the whole exercise has come to me.

Not only must I be precise with my language and realize that my words have an impact, but I must also take responsibility for verifying that what I said is interpreted the way I intended. It’s my job to make sure that what I have said is understood in the way I meant it. So the conclusion for me was that I needed to employ radical attention and radical listening.

I am deeply grateful for the openness and honesty that my circle of friends and colleagues displayed. If you happen to be one of the people who responded to my survey and are reading this blog, I thank you again. If you did not participate but are interested in self-evaluation, I encourage you to consider doing a 360-degree evaluation for yourself. If you want some ideas on how to create one, feel free to reach out. And those key questions I used are yours to borrow. Just remember, the responses may hurt, but they’ll teach you so much about how you are perceived – and what you can do to make yourself better – in all ways.

Mark McLaughlin is a neurosurgeon and can be reached at his self-titled site, Mark Mclaughlin, MD. He is the founder of Princeton Brain and Spine Care where he practices surgery focusing on trigeminal neuralgia and cervical spine surgery, and is also a thought leader in performance enhancement and physician-hospital relations.