Dear new nurse graduate,

Welcome to a world unlike any other—a world brimming with happiness, sadness, confusion, self-doubt, defeat, and heroism. You’ve just stepped onto the first rung of a ladder that reaches into the unknown. Nursing is not easy, and there will be countless moments when you ask yourself, “What was I thinking?” or “Why did I choose this path?”

But nursing isn’t just a job; it’s a lifelong journey, a calling. It will demand everything from you—mind, body, and soul. It will test your patience, stretch your limits, and consume you. Along the way, you will discover that the person you were before becoming a nurse will no longer exist.

Let me tell you a little about my own journey.

My mother told me I had to be a nurse. Back then, you didn’t question your mother’s wishes—you simply did what you were told. But truth be told, I didn’t want to be a nurse. I dreamed of becoming a teacher or a journalist. Still, I followed her advice.

Over time, nursing became part of me. I began in psychiatry, transitioned to the emergency room, moved to surgery and PACU, and eventually found my home in the medical-surgical ICU. I dedicated more than 30 years to the ICU—a place where I fell in love with the intricacies of the human body and the challenge of solving the puzzles of life.

I graduated from nursing school in 1985. It was a time of rapid technological advances, yet we clung to outdated traditions—like the nursing cap. That cap became a symbol of resistance for me. It wasn’t just a germ magnet; it was a relic of a time when women were expected to conform, to defer, and to accept less. I fought against wearing it and even sacrificed two years of salary increases to make my stand. Eventually, I won. The nursing cap was gone, and I was free to focus on what really mattered: patient care.

There were good days and bad days. But every experience taught me something. And now, I want to share what I’ve learned with you.

Here are my words of wisdom:

• Stay alert. Take breaks when you can, even if it’s just 30 minutes to decompress or a few moments to visit the restroom. Twelve-hour shifts are grueling, and you need to take care of yourself to take care of others.
• Treat everyone equally. From the janitor to the CEO, from the most impoverished patient to the wealthiest VIP—respect is universal.
• Keep your cup half-empty. The nurse who thinks they know everything is the most dangerous. Medicine is always evolving; stay curious and open to learning.
• Avoid the bully trap. Lateral violence has no place in nursing. Stand up to bullies, report them, and protect your colleagues. Nursing is hard enough without tearing each other down.
• Be prepared. Know your patient’s facts before calling a doctor or advanced practitioner. Write down your concerns—it will save you time and ensure clear communication.
• Never apologize for advocating for your patient. It’s the physician’s job to assist you. You are the protector, teacher, and advocate for your patients. Own that role.
• Choose your battles wisely. Whether it’s with managers or colleagues, be discerning about where you invest your energy.
• Teamwork makes the worst shifts bearable. A strong, supportive crew can turn even a nightmare shift into something beautiful.
• Watch out for burnout. Nursing offers endless opportunities—psychiatry, maternity, trauma, travel nursing, advanced degrees, Peace Corps work. If one area no longer inspires you, explore another.

Above all, remember this:

• Take vacations.
• Decompress.
• Follow your heart.
• Be kind to one another, from the most seasoned nurse to the newest graduate.
• Never be afraid to ask questions—there’s no such thing as a dumb question in nursing.

We are all part of a profound circle of life—from birth to the end of life, from triumph to heartbreak.

So, dear graduate, focus on what matters. Love deeply. Empower those around you. And always remember why you chose this path.

With admiration,
A fellow nurse

Debbie Moore-Black is a nurse who blogs at Do Not Resuscitate.