The sun was out, casting a warm glow over the world as the snow melted into slush. The air was crisp, invigorating, as I leashed up my pups for their morning half-mile walk. Today, I had an extra companion, another pup I was babysitting, turning my duo into a trio.
As we strolled, I couldn’t help but feel grateful. My health—both physical and mental—was intact, and I knew how fortunate I was. The recent Hurricane Helene had brought down a few trees around me, but the damage was minimal, and I remained safe. Unlike the devastated western Carolinas grappling with hurricanes or California battling wildfires and fierce winds, my life was untouched by such destruction. I counted my blessings with every step.
Back home, I sank into the couch, my pups nestled at my side. That’s when I saw it: a small, simple gem I had found at a thrift shop—a positive affirmation staring right back at me.
It brought back memories, reminders of the torment I endured growing up. A negligent mother. An alcoholic father. Climbing the ladder at IBM, achieving the big house, the lake house with the matching boat, and sending my kids to private school for eight years. Yet even amidst these successes, the wicked nuns, the dysfunction of my family, and my father’s descent into a nonfunctional alcoholic threatened to unravel it all. Through it all, the echoes of my parents’ cruel words haunted me: “You’re fat, ugly, and stupid.”
The affirmation reminded me of more. A long marriage to a charmer who fed me breadcrumbs of love, infidelities and lies interwoven into the fabric of our life. I stayed for the sake of my children, my manna from heaven, and they gave me purpose.
But it wasn’t all darkness. My career as a nurse became a source of pride and joy. From ER to surgery, to my true love—ICU and Surgical-Trauma ICU—and finally, Behavioral Health. I had built a good life despite the negativity. The pain and hardships, though, were now tucked away, stored in an album in my mind, far out of reach. I was free.
The crisp air outside, the pups at my side with their unconditional love, and the affirmation staring back at me brought everything into focus:
“What if I fall?
Oh, my darling,
What if you fly?”
As I sat there, I embraced the moment. It was Sunday, a day to live life filled with positive affirmations. And so I did.
Debbie Moore-Black is a nurse who blogs at Do Not Resuscitate.
