Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

The harsh reality of becoming a doctor: a dream turned nightmare

Pamela Buchanan, MD
Physician
March 1, 2025
Share
Tweet
Share

I have wanted to be a doctor since I was 12 years old. I revered my pediatrician, Dr. Helen Nash, who was a giant in our community. Growing up poor in St. Louis, it was rare to see a Black doctor. Seeing Dr. Nash—owning her own practice, helping people, and commanding deep respect—was inspiring. She was an advocate for health care in the African American community, and whenever she spoke, I listened.

I remember her pointing to me and saying, “You can do whatever you want. You’re smart—make the most of it.” She urged me to consider medicine, and I am so grateful she did. I love being a doctor. It has been my dream since childhood, and I fought through unimaginable adversity—academic struggles, financial hardships, and stress beyond what most can comprehend—to make it a reality.

That is what it takes to become a physician.

So when you see someone with an M.D. or D.O. behind their name, know that they have been fire-tested. No one survives that path unless they truly want it. Why else would we endure it?

Throughout my journey, I was always waiting for the next level. In medical school, I could not wait to graduate and become a resident. During residency—those grueling years of being on call, staying in the hospital for 30-hour shifts every three days—I told myself that once I become an attending, it will be better.

I missed weddings, funerals, baby showers, birthdays, family reunions—everything—because I was always working. But I kept believing that it would all be worth it once I made it to the finish line.

Then I became an attending.

And that is when the nightmare began.

The relief I had imagined never came. The utopian vision I had of finally “making it” never materialized. Instead, I entered a system that felt designed to exploit my passion and dedication.

In private practice, I chased bonuses that never came, always just out of reach as the benchmarks changed at the last moment. Then I moved to the emergency room, hoping for something different. Instead, I found myself drowning in an endless sea of patients, with no relief in sight.

As our health care system deteriorates and access to primary care dwindles, the ER is bearing the brunt of the collapse. Older doctors reminisce about the “good old days,” when only true emergencies came through the doors—when there were slow moments, even empty shifts. But today, the ER is an overcrowded, chaotic battlefield. I wish I had worked in their era. Maybe I would have lasted longer.

Now, I am burned out. And I cannot keep going like this.

This dream—the thing that once filled me with wonder—has turned into a nightmare.

But I do not believe it has to be this way.

ADVERTISEMENT

I believe we can make systemic changes to create a health care system where physicians are truly able to practice medicine, rather than simply survive it. I want to live in a world where doctors have more control over their profession, where they can thrive instead of just endure. I want a world where physician suicide rates decline, where burnout is addressed, not ignored. I want a world where doctors feel safe seeking mental health treatment without fear of losing their license or hospital privileges.

And I will work tirelessly, for as long as I can, to help build that world.

Pamela Buchanan is a board-certified physician, speaker, and thought leader dedicated to transforming health care and championing mental well-being. With more than 20 years of medical experience, she is a TEDx speaker known for her powerful talk on “Emotional Flatline,” which explores the emotional toll of high-stress professions, particularly in emergency rooms during the pandemic. As the author of The Oxygen Mask Principle and Emotional Flatline, Dr. Buchanan teaches self-care as a revolutionary act for working mothers, health care professionals, and high achievers.

In addition to her work as a physician advocate and ambassador with the Lorna Breen Foundation, her work extends to coaching and consulting, focusing on helping physicians navigate burnout and preventing burnout in medical students and residents. She strives to keep more physicians practicing. Dr. Buchanan’s mission is to help people break free from burnout, prioritize self-care, and live with purpose.

Dr. Buchanan is the founder of Strong Medicine and can be contacted for coaching, workshops, and speaking engagements. She can also be reached on TikTok and Instagram.

Prev

The untold toll of COVID-19: a doctor's battle to save lives and family

March 1, 2025 Kevin 2
…
Next

The deadly impact of the U.S. anti-abortion funding policy

March 1, 2025 Kevin 3
…

Tagged as: Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
The untold toll of COVID-19: a doctor's battle to save lives and family
Next Post >
The deadly impact of the U.S. anti-abortion funding policy

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Pamela Buchanan, MD

  • Why every physician needs business skills to thrive

    Pamela Buchanan, MD
  • Rural hospitals are vanishing—and lives are vanishing with them

    Pamela Buchanan, MD
  • Why diversity in medicine saves lives

    Pamela Buchanan, MD

Related Posts

  • The harsh reality of social distancing in rural America

    Meera Nagarajan
  • Osler and the doctor-patient relationship

    Leonard Wang
  • Why every doctor needs a translator

    Heather Hansen, JD
  • Decoding doctor designations: the crucial need to ditch the “provider” label

    Austin Miller
  • I want to be a doctor who can provide care for women: What states must I rule out for my medical education?

    Nandini Erodula
  • The solution to a crumbling primary care foundation is direct primary care

    Sara Pastoor, MD

More in Physician

  • Civil discourse as a leadership competency: the case for curiosity in medicine

    All Levels Leadership
  • When a medical office sublease turns into a legal nightmare

    Ralph Messo, DO
  • Why the heart of medicine is more than science

    Ryan Nadelson, MD
  • How Ukrainian doctors kept diabetes care alive during the war

    Dr. Daryna Bahriy
  • How women physicians can go from burnout to thriving

    Diane W. Shannon, MD, MPH
  • Why more doctors are choosing direct care over traditional health care

    Grace Torres-Hodges, DPM, MBA
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • America’s ER crisis: Why the system is collapsing from within

      Kristen Cline, BSN, RN | Conditions
    • Why timing, not surgery, determines patient survival

      Michael Karch, MD | Conditions
    • How early meetings and after-hours events penalize physician-mothers

      Samira Jeimy, MD, PhD and Menaka Pai, MD | Physician
    • FDA delays could end vital treatment for rare disease patients

      GJ van Londen, MD | Meds
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
  • Recent Posts

    • Civil discourse as a leadership competency: the case for curiosity in medicine

      All Levels Leadership | Physician
    • Healing beyond the surface: Why proper chronic wound care matters

      Alvin May, MD | Conditions
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • Dear July intern: It’s normal to feel clueless—here’s what matters

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Education
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • When a medical office sublease turns into a legal nightmare

      Ralph Messo, DO | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • America’s ER crisis: Why the system is collapsing from within

      Kristen Cline, BSN, RN | Conditions
    • Why timing, not surgery, determines patient survival

      Michael Karch, MD | Conditions
    • How early meetings and after-hours events penalize physician-mothers

      Samira Jeimy, MD, PhD and Menaka Pai, MD | Physician
    • FDA delays could end vital treatment for rare disease patients

      GJ van Londen, MD | Meds
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
  • Recent Posts

    • Civil discourse as a leadership competency: the case for curiosity in medicine

      All Levels Leadership | Physician
    • Healing beyond the surface: Why proper chronic wound care matters

      Alvin May, MD | Conditions
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • Dear July intern: It’s normal to feel clueless—here’s what matters

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Education
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • When a medical office sublease turns into a legal nightmare

      Ralph Messo, DO | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...