Social media is an incredible tool for staying connected with loved ones and the world. But sometimes, I wonder, are we truly connected? Or is this connection merely an illusion?

I was addicted to social media. I believe this addiction began in 2012, during my first year of medical school. That’s when I asked my father to install an internet connection, claiming it was just for study purposes. It’s a common excuse that many children use when they ask for a cell phone or internet access—saying it’s to stay connected or for studying. The next thing I did was create a Facebook account to stay connected. Our class had a Facebook group to which all our classmates were added. This way, we could share everything in that group—study materials, PDFs of books, PowerPoint presentations of lectures, OSCE materials, and more.

The next thing I did was buy myself a smartphone, which I believe was also in 2012. It was a smartphone from QMobile, worth around 10–12 thousand rupees. QMobile launched the first smartphone in Pakistan in 2009. It was a nice phone, and I used it for about five years. As far as I can remember, I bought it from my savings, although I can’t recall what kind of savings they were.

After Facebook, I started using Instagram, WhatsApp, Snapchat, and so on. After completing five years of medical school and sharing notes, I graduated in 2017. My contacts expanded from best friends, classmates, and relatives to include doctors, colleagues, and acquaintances when I began my one-year mandatory internship (house job) in 2017. The social media chaos persisted throughout my residency. Once I began my house job, the number of WhatsApp groups skyrocketed, overwhelming me. These groups began to take a toll on my mental health. I found myself constantly working and checking WhatsApp, which added to the stress of feeling the need to be responsive in both the workplace and educational groups. Everything I did revolved around my phone.

I feel as if I’ve spent one-third of my life on WhatsApp and social media, and I am exhausted. Engaging with these platforms requires so much time, energy, focus, and attention—it truly drains me.

Another downside is the never-ending competition and marketing tactics that permeate these spaces. Everything, from personal matters to professional interactions, feels completely fake. From the moment we wake up, whether it’s watching the sunrise or enjoying our first cup of morning coffee, to the end of the day, every moment seems to be shared on social media. Every vacation, every outfit, everything we buy, our hobbies, our loved ones, our kids, our spouses, and our achievements—it’s all a part of our social media now.

Now, at 32, I find myself feeling exhausted from social media and from this artificial lifestyle that’s left me no time to truly enjoy real life. Why does everyone talk about mindfulness now? We have forgotten to pause, look around, be present in the moment, interact with the real people around us, and explore the beauty of nature and the world around us.

Everything about our appearances on social media is often artificial. The photos are heavily filtered, masking blemishes, tans, and gray hair, and even adding blush to our cheeks. Why do we feel the need to showcase every aspect of our lives, including what we do, buy, or use? Many girls around me proudly display what they eat, the cars they travel in, the jewelry they wear, the bags they’ve recently purchased, the brands of clothing they choose, and the vacations they go on.

I’m not suggesting that self-expression and flaunting are totally wrong. In a world that encourages open expression, it’s valid to showcase yourself in any way you choose. However, it’s important to acknowledge that this can sometimes lead to negative emotions and unhealthy competition among those around us.

People often become preoccupied with what others have or achieve, leading to feelings of inadequacy. Body image issues frequently stem from the portrayals of flawless skin, perfect physiques, and perfect hair seen on social media. Almost every other day, I admit one or two patients for liposuction or breast implant surgery.

My friends have started getting procedures like PRP, microneedling, and lip fillers just to keep up with the competition. The guys around me have even gotten hair transplants. Everyone seems to be spending thousands on skincare, hair products, and makeup. I feel that those who find us attractive will continue to do so despite our physical flaws.

It seems like every other person around me is hitting the gym because they want to achieve the ideal body they’ve seen on Instagram.

If the competition were limited to physical appearance and material possessions, it would have been manageable. However, social media has escalated this situation. People now showcase their perfect spouses, adorable children, and loved ones in a way that can feel overwhelming.

Things are not always as perfect as they appear. Sometimes, I feel a sense of inadequacy when my friends share seemingly flawless family photos with their husbands or children, accompanied by heartfelt captions. Yet, many of these individuals may be struggling internally despite their outward appearances.

Sometimes, when my friend shares a perfect picture of her kids, I can’t help but remember the days she confided in me about how she never wanted children and how they drained her energy. This doesn’t mean she isn’t a good mother; it just means that the image she presents doesn’t capture the whole reality.

Similarly, when I see a mouthwatering picture of food my friend ordered or tried for the first time at a restaurant, I might be salivating over it. However, the truth could be that she hated it so much that she couldn’t take a second bite. The picture she posted is just a momentary snapshot, not an accurate representation of her experience.

When it comes to academic achievements, we often find ourselves comparing our accomplishments to those of our classmates. We observe who receives which fellowship at what institution and how many papers others have published. We might gauge success by looking at who has achieved a certain level of recognition and who seems to be progressing more quickly in their career.

Those who appear to be lagging in this “race of life” may seem slow from our perspective, but they might be more content and fulfilled in their pursuits. However, this comparison can lead even the happiest individuals to feel miserable when they constantly observe the successes of others, especially on social media.

One issue is the constant advertisements on social media. Initially, advertising focused on clothing, bags, footwear, skincare, and makeup, but it has now expanded to include health care businesses as well. Almost every day, a colleague sends me a Facebook or Instagram link to their page, asking me to promote their business, share videos of surgeries they performed, or showcase testimonials from patients who made quick recoveries due to their treatments.

Even holy pilgrimages like Umrah and Hajj are not spared from this trend. Sometimes, I wonder what people are doing on a journey where every moment is an opportunity for worship, yet they seem focused on taking pictures and posting updates on social media.

I regret the years I wasted on social media, living my life through a screen. I just want to live peacefully and not engage in the endless race of social media. I want to age gracefully without becoming artificial. I want to savor my tea while absorbing the beauty around me with my eyes. The people who love me or truly want to keep in touch will find ways to reach me outside of social media. I am tired now—tired beyond what I could ever imagine.

I truly hope I can achieve that. Please wish me luck!

Damane Zehra is a radiation oncology resident in Pakistan.