Today I want to speak into something we don’t talk about enough. In a world where female physicians are constantly pulled in every direction—as doctors, mothers, wives, daughters—we often forget our own personhood.

Between closing charts, answering endless patient messages, kissing boo-boos, and making sure every event has the right outfit, we forget to eat, to sleep, to breathe. And no one is doing this to us maliciously—but it happens, because sacrifice and over-functioning come so naturally to so many women that when we do it, no one questions it. Least of all, ourselves.

So what’s the solution? I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and it comes down to three words: guilt, shame, and permission.

We feel guilty taking time for ourselves, even though solitude and rest are not luxuries—they are oxygen.

We feel shame because we think we’re the only ones struggling, while everyone else seems to be vacationing in Paris with toddlers who don’t scream on airplanes.

And we don’t give ourselves permission to be human. To rest. To eat. To just exist. To not answer that message. To breathe.

So maybe it starts here:

We leave guilt and shame behind. They were never ours to carry. And we give ourselves permission to be exactly who we are. The kind of women who need sleep. Who go on vacation without our toddlers. Who sometimes miss messages. And who are allowed to.

Sacred feminine energy

We live in a world that exalts masculine energy: Productivity, efficiency, logic, discipline. We’ve had to adapt to survive in it. But in doing so, we’ve dulled down our feminine knowing. We’ve quieted our intuition, our rhythms, our rest, our bodies.

We’ve ignored our cycles. Pushed through our fatigue. Numbed our hunger for pleasure, beauty, softness. And it’s burning us out.

What if we gave ourselves permission to return to our feminine essence? To move in waves. To slow down. To flow. To listen to the moon. To cry when we’re full. To say no without explaining. To take up space.

Because the world doesn’t need more efficient women.

The world needs more authentic ones.

We are not machines

I tried really hard to be one.

It was easier to run on autopilot than face the truth of how disconnected I felt from my life. From myself.

Being a machine means you get things done. But it also means you stop asking the most important question:

Is this actually the life I want to be living?

As women, we are conditioned to give our power away. It starts early. Be polite. Don’t be difficult. Don’t take up too much space. Smile more. Don’t ask for too much.

Even in medicine, it shows up.

We’re asked to take on more patients. More emotional labor. More documentation. And we do it—because no one wants to be labeled the “difficult woman.”

But here’s the truth: There is nothing more dangerous to the system than a woman who knows what she wants and is not afraid—or ashamed—to ask for it.

Power, reclaimed

Power doesn’t have to mean overthrowing governments (though, why not?). Sometimes it just means:

Saying no when you mean no.

Asking for rest when you need it.

Not apologizing for wanting more.

Letting someone else handle it.

Leaving the group chat.

Wearing what makes you feel alive.

Daring to be too much.

And maybe, in the end, that’s the ultimate manifesto:

To show up as our full selves. Loud, soft, sacred, tired, radiant.

To let parenting be a team sport.

To say no to guilt.

To stop performing and start being.

To wear the big earrings.

To put on the red lipstick.

To go to Paris alone.

To leave the messages unanswered.

To rest.

To play.

To live.

Because we were never meant to live inside lines drawn to keep us small.

And the power we’ve been waiting for?

We’ve held it all along.

Preyasha Tuladhar is a family physician.