After twenty-five years of dedicated service as a physician, overcoming a severe neurological illness taught me that medicine embraces patient recovery—but not physician recovery. I never imagined returning to practice after illness would mean humiliation, suspicion, and unnecessary trauma. Yet, that is exactly what happened.

When my illness took me away from clinical practice for over three years, I anticipated hurdles returning to medicine. I understood the need for a competency evaluation. I expected questions, reviews, and even drug screenings. What I did not expect was being treated like a criminal.

The medical system equates absence from practice with substance abuse or disciplinary problems. Despite never experiencing substance abuse issues, I found that physician re-entry programs universally assumed that my absence stemmed from addiction. In reality, my illness was neurological—debilitating, yes, but unrelated to drugs or impairment.

To regain my license, I was required to undergo a “fit-for-duty” evaluation through the Oklahoma Health Professionals Program (OHPP). Even though several qualified evaluation facilities existed in Tulsa, where I live, OHPP insisted I travel to UF Health Addiction Medicine – Florida Recovery Center. The trip from Oklahoma cost over $6,000, a financial burden imposed without justification.

I arrived prepared for a urine drug screen—standard practice, understandable. Instead, I faced invasive demands for urine, blood, and either nail clippings or hair samples. Because I keep my nails short, nail testing was not possible. The technician then insisted on cutting a substantial plug of hair from my scalp—close to the root—totaling 150 grams.

When I refused this intrusive procedure, I was met with suspicion, as if my objection proved guilt. No informed consent occurred before the evaluation. I was not notified in advance that hair or nail testing would be required. Had I known, I could have grown my nails longer to comply less invasively. Instead, my refusal was painted as resistance, creating a humiliating confrontation.

Further compounding my distress, my urine sample collection involved a witness standing directly in front of me in the restroom. Again, no warning. No prior informed consent. The experience felt degrading and humiliating, stripping me of dignity and autonomy. This invasive scrutiny, aimed at detecting issues I never had, left me feeling violated, ashamed, and betrayed by my profession.

This traumatic encounter illuminates how physician re-entry programs unjustly equate absence from practice with misconduct or substance abuse. Physicians who recover from severe medical conditions are lumped together with impaired colleagues, forced through intrusive evaluations without transparency, consent, or respect.

Physicians deserve to recover from illness with dignity, not suspicion. The lack of dedicated re-entry programs designed specifically for physicians returning after medical leave creates a harmful stigma. Medical boards and state programs must create clear pathways and informed-consent-driven evaluations for physicians whose absence resulted from illness, not addiction or misconduct.

Without targeted support, we risk losing highly skilled, compassionate physicians simply because our health care system fails to respect them as individuals. Due to my traumatic evaluation, I seriously considered leaving medicine completely—a tragic loss rooted solely in unjust treatment.

Medicine should champion empathy and fairness, especially toward its own. Physicians recovering from illness deserve transparent processes, humane evaluations, and basic respect.

We must end this practice of treating physicians returning from illness as criminals. It is past time medicine heals its caregivers—not traumatizes them.

Trisza Leann Ray is a physician.