For years, I cared for patients as a nurse practitioner—managing chronic disease, guiding them through acute illness, counseling them through the often messy realities of life and health. I loved my work. I loved the relationships I built with patients, the trust they placed in me, and the opportunity to make a difference in their lives.

But over time, a quiet restlessness began to grow—a sense that I wanted to deepen my understanding of medicine and expand the ways I could help those in my care. That feeling only intensified as life unfolded around me in ways I could never have anticipated.

My husband’s sudden injury thrust me into an entirely new role—not only as his caregiver, but as his advocate in a fragmented health care system I thought I understood. Once a highly respected anesthesia clinician working 80+ hours a week, he was now an object of the health care machine. Sitting beside him through surgeries and hospital stays, coordinating complex follow-ups, I saw firsthand both the strengths and the blind spots in how we deliver care. I felt a profound responsibility to learn more, to understand more fully, so that I could serve my patients—and my family—with greater depth.

Around the same time, I suffered the devastating loss of my sister to suicide. That experience shattered me—and forced me to confront the limitations of my knowledge and tools as a practitioner. I wanted to be the kind of health care provider who could not only diagnose and treat, but also recognize the unseen battles my patients might be fighting, and help bridge the gaps that too often lead to tragic outcomes.

Through grief, caregiving, and reflection, I spent years questioning whether I was where I was meant to be. Ultimately, the answer was clear: I needed to grow. I needed to deepen my understanding of medicine, both for the patients I serve and for the person I am becoming. Pursuing medical school isn’t about leaving my past behind—it’s about building on it. Every experience I’ve carried to this point is shaping the physician I hope to become.

Medicine is about presence, not just knowledge. In NP school, we studied pathophysiology, pharmacology, and clinical guidelines. In practice, I quickly learned that presence—sitting fully with a patient in their fear, grief, and uncertainty—mattered just as much as clinical expertise.

I remember one patient, a 20-year-old girl who was left brain-dead after a terrible car accident. I couldn’t change the inevitable, but I could listen, validate, and walk alongside her family in their incomparable suffering. The trust we built in our time together shaped every subsequent decision in her care, and ultimately defined how her family experienced this pivotal moment.

As a future physician, I want to keep this lesson front and center. Clinical acumen matters—and so does humanity. I hope to model both.

Teams—not individuals—deliver great care. Working in interdisciplinary teams as an NP taught me humility and respect for every member of the care team. I learned from nurses, patient care techs, case managers, pharmacists, and colleagues across specialties. The best outcomes came when we collaborated openly, listened to each other, and kept the patient at the center.

As I move toward a physician role, I hope never to lose this team-first mindset. Titles may change; the need for collaboration does not.

Every patient brings a story—and systems shape those stories. Caring for patients over time, I saw how social determinants—housing, food access, literacy, trauma—shaped health outcomes more than any medication I could prescribe. I also saw how complex and impersonal health care systems can leave vulnerable patients behind.

These experiences sparked a drive in me not only to provide excellent clinical care, but to advocate for systems that serve patients more equitably. I want to bring that lens to my future medical training and practice.

Self-awareness matters—and so does self-care. Balancing clinical work, family life, and caregiving for my disabled spouse taught me about the limits of personal resilience. I experienced burnout. I learned that good clinicians attend to their own well-being so they can show up fully for their patients.

As I embark on this next chapter, I aim to prioritize sustainable practice, model it for peers and students, and contribute to a culture where well-being is valued alongside clinical excellence.

The road ahead

I didn’t take a traditional path to medical school. I bring with me years of bedside experience, hard-earned lessons about patient care, team dynamics, system gaps, and personal growth—along with the deeply personal experiences that shaped my decision to pursue this path.

These lessons don’t replace the knowledge I’ll gain in medical school—they will enrich it. They remind me daily of the kind of physician I hope to become: one who listens deeply, values the team, advocates fiercely, and cares humanly.

The bedside taught me well. Now, I’m ready to carry those lessons forward.

Sarah White is a nurse practitioner, small business owner, and premedical student based in Virginia. With a background in clinical practice and caregiving, she brings a unique perspective to the intersection of medicine, family life, and community service. She volunteers with the Medical Reserve Corps and is preparing to apply to medical school in 2026.

Sarah is also the founder of two growing ventures: Wrinkle Relaxer, where she specializes in aesthetic treatments, and Bardot Boutique Aesthetics, a space for curated beauty and wellness services.