Anonymous

These articles are written by anonymous clinicians. They have been selected and edited by Kevin Pho, MD.

Respect the duty to care for all patients equitably

Anonymous

Education

March 5, 2019

In my first year of medical school, I attended a lecture on health disparities that focused on the difference in patient outcomes based on race and socioeconomic status. The lecture cited multiple peer-reviewed studies that extensively demonstrated these disparities and how health care professionals, not solely social determinants of health, contribute to them. The lecture concluded with an appeal to improve our cultural awareness and acknowledge our conscious and unconscious …

A new health care dawn is coming

Anonymous

Tech

March 4, 2019

At some point in my career, I had the crazy idea that if I could scale the patient-centric work I was doing in my community at a small rural hospital — then I could make more of an impact. This is why, when a technology company came calling, dangling a carrot in front of my nose to “disrupt” health care, it seemed like a no brainer to make the leap …

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A new health care dawn is coming

When you identify your Lyft driver as potentially having bipolar disorder

Anonymous

Conditions

February 15, 2019

I remember September 27, 2018 like it was yesterday. When Ashley* picked me up from my apartment Thursday morning, I thought it would be like the 138 past Lyft rides I’ve taken since 2017. I was wrong.

After I waived to Ashley from the curb, I got settled into the right back seat. The doors locked, and she asked me the usual question.

“You from here?”

“Yes, I’m a local.”

“That’s great! I’m from …

A physician’s #MeToo story

Anonymous

Physician

February 14, 2019

I was a resident. He was a physician in a position of power. He took things too far, and I spoke up. Here are some of the actual comments I received.

“He’s just a flirt.”

“You must have misunderstood him.”

“What were you wearing?”

“Somebody must have hated him, to do that to him.”

“Perhaps, he just really, really liked you.”

“Maybe you had a crush on him too and encouraged him.”

I had started a new …

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A physician’s #MeToo story

A physician’s ex-business partner is in prison. Here’s what this doctor learned.

Anonymous

Physician

February 5, 2019

When I was a third-year resident, I was invited to join a practice owned by a doctor who had once been my chief resident. This was considered by all of my fellow residents to be the plum job in town, and I was thrilled. The doctor, whom I shall call “John,” was smart and funny and had a huge practice that he had purchased from a retiring physician. We figured …

6 things learned from being rejected from medical school

Anonymous

Education

January 26, 2019

I have spent the greater portion of my 20s enduring a premature quarter-life crisis. Patterns of self-doubt and debilitating anxiety became my new normal.

I was rejected from medical school — again.

After taking time to process the reality that I would have to wait another year to re-apply, I fervently journeyed through a messy jungle of introspection that led me to these six lessons. Although I learned more than I could …

How this student took care of his severe depression in medical school

Anonymous

Education

January 22, 2019

We learn about it in school as a formula. There is a checklist that we are given, and we ask our patients these eight questions and then calculate whether or not they have depression. It’s so simple. Anyone can do it! I never once thought that I would be calculating my own score at the prime of my education.

I entered medical school full of hope after years of failures and …

A loss of physician support at a time of need

Anonymous

Physician

January 22, 2019

As a first-generation college graduate with the honor of earning my MD and PhD at a federally funded medical scientist training program (MSTP) and nearly no debt upon embarking on the journey of residency, I have a lot to live for and am grateful for all that life has offered me with regard to both mental health and capacity. I am a product of the Baltimore City Public School System. My …

Non-therapeutic relationship or human kindness?

Anonymous

Physician

January 4, 2019

About two months ago, a 15-year-old Native American male was riding around in a stolen car on the reservation. “M” and the driver were drinking. And somehow, after he exited the vehicle at 4 a.m., the car struck him. Hours later, it became clear that something was wrong. M was transferred to our pediatric hospital as a trauma and was found to have an unstable vertebral fracture. Conservative treatment with …

Are scribes the solution to our documentation woes?

Anonymous

Physician

December 17, 2018

In response to the increasing burdens of administrative work and cumbersome charting levied upon healthcare providers in recent years, medical scribes have been touted as a potential solution for streamlining the documentation process. Interest in the use of scribes has certainly been increasing, with the American College of Medical Scribe Specialists estimating that the number of medical scribes nationally will increase from 15,000 in 2014 to more than 100,000 by …

A physician’s letter to his wife

Anonymous

Finance

December 3, 2018

To my wife,

Let’s just start at the beginning.

When we first met, you thought I was arrogant and prideful. For two and a half years we would rarely talk while we walked past each other in our small college town. At the time, we never could have imagined that one day we would get married. In a twist of irony, two weeks before we started dating you still didn’t know as …

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A physician’s letter to his wife

An ode to residency interview season

Anonymous

Physician

November 18, 2018

I woke this morning at 3:30 a.m. My mouth was dry. I tried to urinate, but something roughly the color of quinoa came out in small quantities. So I assumed I was dehydrated. It could have been the bourbon and scotch before dinner — or the two IPAs at dinner. Or the four IPAs after dinner at trivia. Or the scotch after trivia. But something told me I was dehydrated.

I …

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An ode to residency interview season

When will the stigma of mental health end in medicine?

Anonymous

Physician

November 15, 2018

Imagine being a cancer patient afraid of seeing an oncologist because they would likely need to discuss chemotherapy and all the lifestyle changes that it entails. Imagine being a patient with heart failure afraid of seeing the cardiologist because they may be prescribed a diuretic to remove excess fluid from their body and may need dietary counseling. Imagine being a patient with severe rheumatoid arthritis with excruciating joint pain, who …

Are physician wellness programs just another checkbox?

Anonymous

Physician

November 7, 2018

Recently, I saw a photo of a slide from the American College of Surgeons Clinical Congress: “The Program Directors Guide to Implementation of Well-being Programs.” While I applaud the ongoing focus in medicine on wellness for both trainees and faculty, I am troubled by the perceived need to standardize and program wellness, creating a “checkbox” that may not improve actual well-being. As a recent graduate now living my best life …

A bad outcome changed this physician’s life

Anonymous

Physician

October 31, 2018

I’m struggling — truly struggling. This year has been beyond hard. I honestly never thought this time last year that I would be in this predicament. Things were good, I had a great job, and I was working on our fixing up our dream retirement home. We had great vacations every year. Yes, the home remodel wasn’t quite on track, but we were making progress. But then, my world fell …

A test taker’s worst nightmare became reality

Anonymous

Physician

October 18, 2018

Doctors know high-pressure exams. The day before one is the worst. There is cramming followed by anxiety and insomnia. When sleep finally beats anxiety, the dreaded nightmare falls upon anxious test takers. Every doctor knows. Walking into the testing center, opening the exam, realizing you studied for the wrong exam. The questions might as well be a foreign language. This nightmare was a reality according to this year’s group of …

Don’t ignore incest: advice from an incest survivor

Anonymous

Physician

October 18, 2018

In the era of #MeToo, Missy Elliot, Whitney Houston, Tyler Perry, Oprah, Ashley Judd, Gabrielle Union, Teri Hatcher and, now, Padma Lakshmi — keeping kids safe and helping adults heal is our job as physicians. I am a pediatrician — and I am an incest survivor. My perpetrator was also a physician. I bore a dirty secret before I knew what a secret was. The person who hurt me was …

How to survive a medical liability lawsuit

Anonymous

Physician

October 7, 2018

I do not feel that I truly survived my lawsuit. Sure, I am alive, but the emotional toll it took on me during the four years that we co-existed was tremendous. That being said, I do feel that it taught me several things that may be helpful to others.

My lawsuit occurred very early in my career. The series of events that led up to it happened when I was a …

A resident physician’s story of depression

Anonymous

Physician

September 17, 2018

It was 4:30 a.m. on a freezing cold winter morning when I dragged myself to my car and started down the street to the hospital. I was working in the ICU for the month, and sleep had become a commodity I no longer enjoyed. I tried to shake my brain out of the dense fog it seemed to always be in lately.

I looked up in time to see my car …

My faith in healthy lifestyle choices is shaken

Anonymous

Conditions

September 12, 2018

This must be my eighth cancer scare. (No, I really don’t undergo excessive testing.) Decades ago, I’d noted a possibly normal finding but dropped it after getting no response at subspecialist visits. Recently, following pertinent CME, I asked again and the physician bit. You can guess the rest.

One night while dodging traffic I accessed on my phone the ultrasound report from the designated cancer center’s (DCC) patient portal, revealing a …