These articles are written by anonymous clinicians. They have been selected and edited by Kevin Pho, MD.
Maybe it’s just me, and maybe this is a regional/local phenomenon, but I have noticed a sharp increase in the number of non-physicians who sport their white coats on a daily basis around the hospital.
First, let me preface this piece by saying I have absolutely nothing against any person who partakes in the care of patients; in fact, I commend all the helping hands that routinely dedicate themselves to health …
Three weekday call shifts left and two more weekends. The light at the end of the tunnel is shining bright, and I am relieved to be walking towards it. The only question that remains is what will I have left of myself and my life when I get there?
I started residency with a husband who I loved more than life itself. I was codependent to a fault, never wanted to …
As I get near the completion of an intense 5-year orthopedic surgery residency program, I had an interesting interaction with our hospitals sub-committee specifically tasked to address duty hour and resident fatigue issues.
As they gave examples from other departments about changes made to their programs regarding duty hours, a clear-as-mud connection was continually made. They spoke of “improvements” made as the result of residents stepping up to serve as whistleblowers …
The abandoned retractor clatters dangerously close to the other edge of the sterile field, saved only by the quick reflexes of the scrub nurse. The attending lets out a brief laugh, “I guess we’re using the Madagascar technique,” then it’s back to the operation at hand. Minutes pass as I continue to stand in my assigned place at the attending’s side, prepared to offer whatever meager contribution I can to …
In the hour after I heard the news, I experienced the full spectrum of typical reactions to a physician suicide.
One end of the spectrum came from the attending in a clinic, who when asked if the residents could go home and mourn their friend who just committed suicide, proceeded to tell me a story of how when her grandpa died before a final exam in medical school. She decided to …
During my first year of medical school, I attended a “speed dating” event, where medical students met attendings from various specialties to get a better sense of what we could do with our lives once we graduated. Older physicians consistently remarked that they decided their future during their intern year. One even said that he waited until the end of his internship to decide on otolaryngology.
I, along with my fellow …
I’m not sure when it happened, but driving into the parking lot that cold winter day, I knew it had. Tears welled in red eyes, snot dripped out of my nose. I felt so alone and lost. My whole life I’d wanted this — the drive to the hospital and wondering whether I would change a life. But as I sat in my car, engine off, I didn’t want that …
Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be surgeons.
Really. Don’t.
As the mother of a soon-to-be fellowship-trained surgeon, I know what I’m talking about. Listen to me. Ignore Willie Nelson. You don’t want your babies to be doctors; you want them to be cowboys.
Really.
Yeah, yeah, I know, your daughter is a whiz at all things mathematical and/or spatial. And your son is a science prodigy. Their eye-hand coordination is legendary …
Almost two years ago I went to the funeral of a medical school classmate. A little more than three weeks before he had jumped from a parking garage after finishing his clinic. He had a loving wife and three young children. He had the respect of his colleagues and the love of his patients. There was nothing out of the ordinary in his financial or personal life. It didn’t make …
It is February of our last few months of clinical rotations. I am a rising fourth-year medical student at a well-known East Coast institution with a not-so-bad track record, I guess you could say. I scored in the top percentile for the USMLE Step 1, honored my third-year rotations, and have comments from attendings about how I am destined to succeed in this career. One might think that at this point …
The workplace environment can be full of many obstacles, especially in the medical field. These obstacles range from difficult patients, to navigating insurances, to burnout, and so on. One problem, however, appears to be worsening over time and seems to go without discussion. As life has progressed and I have transitioned from a medical student to attending physician, I have noticed an increase in workplace confrontation between employees. Is this …
What do you do when you love your job, but it’s killing you?
That’s an easy question if it’s asked by someone else. It’s a hard question when you’re asking it of yourself. As a physician, I give advice to people all the time — other people. If you have diabetes, control your diet. If you are obese, then lose weight and exercise. If you have COPD, then you better not …
I thought about you, the patient that I’m about to perform surgery on, all night last night and because I doubted myself, I took clonazepam to calm the anxiety so I could sleep. Today I’ve taken 10 mg of propranolol and some Kava, a natural supplement known to decrease anxiety.
As I start the surgery, the propranolol coursing through my veins blocking the sympathetic nervous system, I fear it will come. …
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Every time I walk through the automatic sliding doors, that strong smell of ammonia stings my nose. The lobby is clean — too clean — with a vast amount of open space leading to the front desk. The just-below-comfortable air brushes against my skin, raising the hair on my arms and legs. Almost cold enough to be a morgue — but that’s later. The room is silent, except for the …
The human experience is an exercise in connection. Nothing is seen, heard, or felt in isolation. This is what can make womanhood in a large urban city so challenging. A catcall is not a single comment, heard on a single morning about the tightness of your jeans or the way your hair falls; but instead carries with it every unsolicited thing you’ve ever heard about your body, a shadow of …
“I quit residency.”
Three words that many physicians couldn’t ever imagine coming out of their mouth, but for me, I say it all the time, usually with a smile on my face. I was a year and a half into my family medicine residency and decided it was enough. My decision mostly revolved around the birth of my son. My husband (a resident in the same program) and I planned to …
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I did some pretty crazy things to get into medical school (don’t worry, Mom, nothing illegal). For several years before applying, I became a medicine groupie. I read books about being a doctor, watched documentaries about medicine, and shadowed physicians for hours on end so I could imagine what it might be like. I watched many a friend go off to med school and graduate … and I waited, I …
I started medical school recently. Before it started, I told myself (and everybody else) that I would feel like a kid in a candy shop when I was here. I’d get to try different specialties and figure out which one I want to do out of everything that excited me. It really is kind of like that, don’t get me wrong. But I’m also confused and disheartened.
I had a different …
One word: gun. That is all it takes to spark a debate between two very different camps. One end of the spectrum feels guns are an evil haunting the nation by their mere existence, and they need to be dealt with by restricting (or even eliminating) everyone’s ability to possess them. The other end believes it is a core right to keep and use firearms for sport, personal defense, collecting, etc., and that no …
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Netflix listens to doctors. Google, Facebook, and Apple listen to doctors. The United States Navy and Marine Corps listen.
The above companies have updated their maternity leave policies — lengthening them all past 12 weeks. And all paid.
But yet, health care doesn’t listen to doctors. And let me tell you how.
I am pregnant. Which is a blessing in of itself. In fact, this is my 4th pregnancy, but I only have one child living. …
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