Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

From Mom: Here’s what it takes to be a great doctor

Anonymous
Education
January 31, 2013
Share
Tweet
Share

My mom wrote me the following letter during my first semester in medical school. She has been a patient, and a mother/wife/sister/daughter of patients. She has been around countless doctors. Here is her take on what makes a great one.

Dear Son,

I am so very proud that you are becoming a physician and that you chose this profession, not for the prestige or the financial advantages, but because you want to help people.

You invested an unfathomable amount of your time, energy and money to become a doctor. Your patients are extremely grateful for your commitment to be the best health care provider for them, even if they never voice these words.

Being a great doctor requires more than years of medical education and thousands of hours spent in residency. You need to be trustworthy for your patients and in turn you need to trust them.

Remember that you will help those with more and with less education than you.  You will treat people with more and with less money than you. You will aid patients that are very similar to you and those that couldn’t be more different.  You must be trustworthy to each and every one of them. What do they have in common? They need you.

Your title and your knowledge may give you a presumed power over your patients. Always respect that power and never think so highly of yourself that you make your patients feel inferior. Remember when someone is in need, that someone is vulnerable.  Don’t dishonor that vulnerability.  Be kind. Be patient. Keep their secrets. If you don’t know how to treat someone, be honest and refer that patient to another physician. Your ego is never as important as your patients’ health.

You must be trustworthy so that your patient can feel safe enough to tell you what is really going on. When I was only 17, I exhibited some scary health symptoms for a teenager. However this fear is present in all patients when their body is not doing what it is supposed to do.You need to remember that fear in patients and respect it. To tell my mom what was going on with me was scary enough, but being able to tell my doctor was beyond terrifying. My physician was so kind, and so honest about what procedures I needed to have done and why I needed them done. He treated me with respect. He treated me as an adult. He was trustworthy. I am eternally grateful to him.

Sometimes, things are going on in a family that can affect the health of everyone even if there are no bruises, blood or fever. My mother was a battered wife. My stepfather beat her regularly. He inflicted pain that did not cause external scarring so no one would know what was going on. I told my grandmother and other relatives; they believed me, but no one could convince my mother to leave him for more than a few days at a time. I told someone with authority, my pastor, what was going on at home. He did not believe the teenage girl I was then. My pastor did not help my mother. You need to trust that teenage girl. No, not everyone will be honest with you.  But, still you must trust.  I am not saying don’t try to verify.  But, don’t become so cynical that your instinct is to question and deny. You may save that battered woman. You may help heal her whole family. My mother is safe now but I will always remember the pastor that turned his head at my pleas for help.

So my son, my pride for you is beyond measure. My words are inadequate to describe my awe of what you have accomplished in your life. But as moms are wont to do, I am going to offer you some advice as you get closer and closer to becoming a doctor.

Be trustworthy and trust in both your professional and your personal life. Sometimes you will get hurt. That happens when you trust people. But, please realize your patients are also hurting and they need to trust in you. They are vulnerable. You can only create the openness they need to reveal their secrets to you if they feel that you understand them, and you won’t judge them.  Being trustworthy and trusting others are the keystones to being a great doctor. Never lose your faith in people and in a power greater than your own. These things are crucial to being a good person, and you can’t be a good physician if you are not first a good person.

Love,
Mom

This anonymous medical student blogs at The Hero Complex. 

Prev

Cancelling surgery: When the show can't go on

January 31, 2013 Kevin 12
…
Next

Anesthesia awareness: Look beyond the headlines

January 31, 2013 Kevin 6
…

Tagged as: Medical school

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Cancelling surgery: When the show can't go on
Next Post >
Anesthesia awareness: Look beyond the headlines

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Anonymous

  • When medicine surrenders to ideology

    Anonymous
  • Why patients and doctors are fleeing flagship hospitals

    Anonymous
  • What a childhood stroke taught me about the future of neurosurgery and the promise of vagus nerve stimulation

    Anonymous

More in Education

  • Why health care must adopt a harm reduction model

    Dylan Angle
  • Gen Z’s DIY approach to health care

    Amanda Heidemann, MD
  • What street medicine taught me about healing

    Alina Kang
  • How listening makes you a better doctor before your first prescription

    Kelly Dórea França
  • What it means to be a woman in medicine today

    Annie M. Trumbull
  • How Japan and the U.S. can collaborate for better health care

    Vikram Madireddy, MD, Masashi Hamada, MD, PhD, and Hibiki Yamazaki
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • How a doctor defied a hurricane to save a life

      Dharam Persaud-Sharma, MD, PhD | Physician
    • Why primary care needs better dermatology training

      Alex Siauw | Conditions
    • Why physician strikes are a form of hospice

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
    • Why medical notes have become billing scripts instead of patient stories

      Sriman Swarup, MD, MBA | Tech
    • Doctors reclaiming their humanity in a broken system [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Focusing on well-being versus wellness: What it means for physicians (and their patients)

      Kim Downey, PT & Nikolai Blinow & Tonya Caylor, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why transgender health care needs urgent reform and inclusive practices

      Angela Rodriguez, MD | Conditions
    • COVID-19 was real: a doctor’s frontline account

      Randall S. Fong, MD | Conditions
    • Why primary care doctors are drowning in debt despite saving lives

      John Wei, MD | Physician
    • New student loan caps could shut low-income students out of medicine

      Tom Phan, MD | Physician
    • Confessions of a lipidologist in recovery: the infection we’ve ignored for 40 years

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • mRNA post vaccination syndrome: Is it real?

      Harry Oken, MD | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • Doctors reclaiming their humanity in a broken system [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Guilty until proven innocent? My experience with a state medical board.

      Jeffrey Hatef, Jr., MD | Physician
    • How to balance clinical duties with building a startup

      Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA | Physician
    • When life makes you depend on Depends

      Francisco M. Torres, MD | Physician
    • Could ECMO change where we die and how our organs are donated?

      Deepak Gupta, MD | Conditions
    • Every medication error is a system failure, not a personal flaw

      Muhammad Abdullah Khan | Meds

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 2 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • How a doctor defied a hurricane to save a life

      Dharam Persaud-Sharma, MD, PhD | Physician
    • Why primary care needs better dermatology training

      Alex Siauw | Conditions
    • Why physician strikes are a form of hospice

      Patrick Hudson, MD | Physician
    • Why medical notes have become billing scripts instead of patient stories

      Sriman Swarup, MD, MBA | Tech
    • Doctors reclaiming their humanity in a broken system [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Focusing on well-being versus wellness: What it means for physicians (and their patients)

      Kim Downey, PT & Nikolai Blinow & Tonya Caylor, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why transgender health care needs urgent reform and inclusive practices

      Angela Rodriguez, MD | Conditions
    • COVID-19 was real: a doctor’s frontline account

      Randall S. Fong, MD | Conditions
    • Why primary care doctors are drowning in debt despite saving lives

      John Wei, MD | Physician
    • New student loan caps could shut low-income students out of medicine

      Tom Phan, MD | Physician
    • Confessions of a lipidologist in recovery: the infection we’ve ignored for 40 years

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • mRNA post vaccination syndrome: Is it real?

      Harry Oken, MD | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • Doctors reclaiming their humanity in a broken system [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Guilty until proven innocent? My experience with a state medical board.

      Jeffrey Hatef, Jr., MD | Physician
    • How to balance clinical duties with building a startup

      Arlen Meyers, MD, MBA | Physician
    • When life makes you depend on Depends

      Francisco M. Torres, MD | Physician
    • Could ECMO change where we die and how our organs are donated?

      Deepak Gupta, MD | Conditions
    • Every medication error is a system failure, not a personal flaw

      Muhammad Abdullah Khan | Meds

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

From Mom: Here’s what it takes to be a great doctor
2 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...