Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

The secret to a better life? Talk to strangers!

Monique Rainford, MD
Physician
December 22, 2017
Share
Tweet
Share

Although I consider myself an extrovert, I find it more than a little intimidating to talk to strangers. Yes, like many of us, perhaps I was warned as a child not to talk to strangers. That may have had an effect, but I think it is most likely due to the fear of rejection.

However, I recognize that it’s a fear that needs to be overcome. While my skills have improved over time, it is still hard. But my most recent experiences talking to strangers have been wonderful and lead me to the realization that having a little more courage in these situations could be beneficial. I recently visited Tucson, Arizona, for the first time, to attend a conference organized by the American College of Lifestyle Medicine. On my trip to Tucson, I was more or less my usual self: polite but did not engage in conversation if it was not initiated.

But on my Lyft ride to my hotel, “Cindy,” the driver, was very friendly as she collected me from the airport. I responded, and she gave me a tour of the area we were driving through replete with advice on the best places to eat. After I got to the conference, I met my friend and her work colleague. My friend is an extremely friendly extrovert. Her presence allowed me to more easily interact with new people since she would often initiate conversations. I also had the company of her colleague, someone with whom I got along well. I had companionship without much extra effort on my part.

Then, the test. My friend had to leave the conference early and her colleague, my new friend, was attending an event that I opted not to attend. I had an evening to look forward to that involved me eating dinner alone and an early bedtime. I did not mind the early night, but given my personality, I didn’t particularly want to eat dinner alone.

It would only make me more acutely aware of how much I was missing my family. Since it felt overwhelming not only to strike up a conversation but a dinner partner as well, I accepted that it would be my fate. I needed a shuttle bus to return to my hotel from the conference, which due to a longer than usual wait time, led to some small talk with another conference attendee returning to the same hotel. Typically, I would have kept the conversation superficial, but since we had time, I asked about locations to eat dinner. He started talking to other conference participants, and I interjected at times. I also learned more about him, “Chad.” We ended up being each other’s dinner companions at a popular Mexican restaurant. I now had the acquaintance of a bright, fascinating resourceful millennial entrepreneur, someone with whom I definitely plan to keep in touch. I engaged in a few more such conversations.

I had another interesting conversation with “Bob,” my Lyft driver who happened to be a retired physician. We had a stimulating conversation about the current health care system in America and our mutual interest in writing.

While boarding the plane, I exchanged few words with another passenger and physician who coincidentally ended up in my row. I discovered that he too had attended the conference and when he discovered my specialty he immediately introduced me to his travel companion Amy* who was in training for the same specialty. I shared some insight into the field with her.

Those experiences not only enhanced my travel experience, but, according to research from Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, may have enhanced my life expectancy. Her research finding suggests that social isolation is a bigger risk factor for early death than even obesity. As so eloquently expounded in the Ted talk by Susan Pinker, this includes not just the amount and quality of our close friendships but our daily casual social interactions.

So while I will suggest prudence, I believe and know that there are many safe environments to talk to strangers. I encourage you to do so not only because of the proven benefits to ourselves but also because I believe that the benefits to our community and our country as a whole would be far greater.

Monique Rainford is an obstetrician-gynecologist.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

8 reasons burned out doctors refuse help

December 22, 2017 Kevin 5
…
Next

Nurse practitioners will save primary care

December 22, 2017 Kevin 5
…

Tagged as: Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
8 reasons burned out doctors refuse help
Next Post >
Nurse practitioners will save primary care

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Monique Rainford, MD

  • When it comes to bias, doctors need to do their homework

    Monique Rainford, MD
  • How Grey’s Anatomy made this physician into a better doctor

    Monique Rainford, MD
  • A letter from doctors to our patients

    Monique Rainford, MD

Related Posts

  • A physician joins TikTok to talk sex education

    Jennifer Lincoln, MD
  • Ethical humanism: life after #medbikini and an approach to reimagining professionalism

    Jay Wong
  • Physician suicide: We need safe spaces to talk about it

    Ton La, Jr., MD, JD
  • The life cycle of medication consumption

    Fery Pashang, PharmD
  • My first end-of-life conversation

    Shereen Jeyakumar
  • Let’s talk residency: COVID edition

    Angela Awad and Catherine Tawfik

More in Physician

  • How a rainy walk helped an oncologist rediscover joy and bravery

    Dr. Damane Zehra
  • How inspiration and family stories shape our most meaningful moments

    Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA
  • A day in the life of a WHO public health professional in Meghalaya, India

    Dr. Poulami Mazumder
  • Why women doctors are still mistaken for nurses

    Emma Fenske, DO
  • Adriana Smith’s story: a medical tragedy under heartbeat laws

    Nicole M. King, MD
  • Why U.S. health care pricing is so confusing—and how to fix it

    Ashish Mandavia, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why removing fluoride from water is a public health disaster

      Steven J. Katz, DDS | Conditions
    • When did we start treating our lives like trauma?

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • Mastering medical presentations: Elevating your impact

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Physician
    • Why the pre-med path is pushing future doctors to the brink

      Jordan Williamson, MEd | Education
    • Why what doctors say matters more than you think [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The hidden incentives driving frivolous malpractice lawsuits

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
    • Addressing the physician shortage: How AI can help, not replace

      Amelia Mercado | Tech
    • Why medical students are trading empathy for publications

      Vijay Rajput, MD | Education
    • Bureaucracy over care: How the U.S. health care system lost its way

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Why the pre-med path is pushing future doctors to the brink

      Jordan Williamson, MEd | Education
    • Why the fear of being forgotten is stronger than the fear of death [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How a rainy walk helped an oncologist rediscover joy and bravery

      Dr. Damane Zehra | Physician
    • How inspiration and family stories shape our most meaningful moments

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Physician
    • A day in the life of a WHO public health professional in Meghalaya, India

      Dr. Poulami Mazumder | Physician
    • Why women doctors are still mistaken for nurses

      Emma Fenske, DO | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 1 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why removing fluoride from water is a public health disaster

      Steven J. Katz, DDS | Conditions
    • When did we start treating our lives like trauma?

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • Mastering medical presentations: Elevating your impact

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Physician
    • Why the pre-med path is pushing future doctors to the brink

      Jordan Williamson, MEd | Education
    • Why what doctors say matters more than you think [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The hidden incentives driving frivolous malpractice lawsuits

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
    • Addressing the physician shortage: How AI can help, not replace

      Amelia Mercado | Tech
    • Why medical students are trading empathy for publications

      Vijay Rajput, MD | Education
    • Bureaucracy over care: How the U.S. health care system lost its way

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Why the pre-med path is pushing future doctors to the brink

      Jordan Williamson, MEd | Education
    • Why the fear of being forgotten is stronger than the fear of death [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How a rainy walk helped an oncologist rediscover joy and bravery

      Dr. Damane Zehra | Physician
    • How inspiration and family stories shape our most meaningful moments

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Physician
    • A day in the life of a WHO public health professional in Meghalaya, India

      Dr. Poulami Mazumder | Physician
    • Why women doctors are still mistaken for nurses

      Emma Fenske, DO | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

The secret to a better life? Talk to strangers!
1 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...