Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Here’s how poetry saved my life in medical school

Tolu Kehinde, MD
Education
February 3, 2018
Share
Tweet
Share

I often tell people that medical school has been one of the most challenging periods of my life — emotionally more than academically, although my test scores might tell you that it hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park in that regard either. I came to medical school after a fantastic gap year in Boston where met and built a strong community of friends that turned into a family of sorts.

Consisting of mostly women — attending a women’s college leaves you with a strong affiliation and love for women — my Beantown crew were the people with whom I explored my new city. These were the people in whose houses I had spare toothbrushes and designated pajamas, people with whom I discussed theology and explored tough questions about God and Christianity during our onesie-wearing “estrogen parties.” These were the people who supported and prayed for me as I embarked on the almost year-long process that is medical school applications and those who came en masse to celebrate with me at my white-coat ceremony — complete with silly selfies and obligatory jumping pictures.

And yet, these were exactly the ones I found myself without as I tackled eight-hour lecture days, biweekly tests covering textbooks worth of material and declining sleep.

Prior to medical school, I had attacked every new opportunity with extreme optimism and confidence, the kind that looked arrogantly ahead without even a last glance at the past. It wasn’t that I did not cherish memories or the people that featured fondly in them, it was that I had developed a track record of immediate thriving even after the most heartfelt of goodbyes. I expected medical school to be challenging, especially academically, because everyone tells you it is. But I also expected to meet its challenges with a good work ethic and consequently, excel immediately at it. And so medical school said, “I’ll raise you one, chica.”

I don’t remember if there was ever one breaking point, one moment where I decided that it was too much and that I was done. Instead, I remember several breaking points, several towel throw-ins, several moments where tears were shed at the most mundane of stimuli. I also remember that it was in these moments that emotionally-laden words collided into sentences in my brain and rolled off my thumbs unto my phone’s notes app: I found poetry.

One of my first poems came to me as I listened to a physician talk about his work with the homeless population in Boston at a public health event. I was inspired by his life’s work and encouraged by the fact that there was indeed meaning after the drudgery of medical school. But I was stuck on the in-between: how does one nurture dreams of a far-off, promised land and yet live contently in the realities of a current one that devitalizes? So I wrote:

Your belly burns
with dreams so fierce,
they convince you
tomorrow will be lit
almost entirely by their flames.
But tomorrow is still tomorrow.
Today, you must face the reality
that on a cold day,
imagined fires are scarcely enough.

The poems never really provided answers to my questions or completely resolved my angst about the path I was on, but they served as outlets for my emotions in an environment that often treats emotion as taboo. They soothed me with the comfort that comes from creating and knowing that you can bend shapes and words in ways that sometimes bring beauty amidst uncertainty.

Poetry became my fortress and also the means through which I rebuilt my social system: it became a way to tell the world — read: small group of Instagram followers — that I was struggling quite a bit with the fact that medical school isn’t all that it is cracked up to be or perhaps put differently, that it is all it is cracked up to be and then some. Putting myself out there in words made it easier to reach out to people around me — classmates, other medical students, family, my Beantown crew. I found that I was not alone, that my classmates were going through similar struggles and life crises and drawing on the strengths of people and experiences from times past was essential for survival. Indeed, a woman — particularly one in medical school — is not an island.

My story of survival — or surviving, because sista hasn’t graduated yet — will not be complete without mentioning Lola my cousin-sister-friend who despite working on a PhD, managed to provide a listening ear on days when tears fell freely and serve as first reader for everything I wrote. We have always been close but the past years have drawn us even closer in a way that has been life-saving for me. Through her constant cheerleading and friendship, I have found small ways to nurture dreams of a far-off promised land and yet live contently in the realities of a current one that threatens to devitalize.

Tolu Kehinde is a medical student who blogs at The process book project.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Concierge medicine sucks for specialists. Here's why.

February 3, 2018 Kevin 43
…
Next

Should physicians pay off debts or invest? Here's a detailed answer.

February 4, 2018 Kevin 0
…

ADVERTISEMENT

Tagged as: Medical school

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Concierge medicine sucks for specialists. Here's why.
Next Post >
Should physicians pay off debts or invest? Here's a detailed answer.

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Tolu Kehinde, MD

  • How do you determine that the dream of medicine is worth it?

    Tolu Kehinde, MD

Related Posts

  • How medical school saved this student’s life

    Natasha Abadilla
  • End medical school grades

    Adam Lieber
  • The medical school personal statement struggle

    Sheindel Ifrah
  • Welcome to medical school. Welcome to the rest of your life.

    Zainab Mabizari
  • Why medical school is like playing defense

    Jamie Katuna
  • Promote a culture of medical school peer education

    Albert Jang, MD

More in Education

  • How Filipino cultural values shape silence around mental health

    Victor Fu and Charmaigne Lopez
  • Why leadership training in medicine needs to start with self-awareness

    Amelie Oshikoya, MD, MHA
  • Learning medicine in the age of AI: Why future doctors need digital fluency

    Kelly D. França
  • Why health care must adopt a harm reduction model

    Dylan Angle
  • Gen Z’s DIY approach to health care

    Amanda Heidemann, MD
  • What street medicine taught me about healing

    Alina Kang
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why palliative care is more than just end-of-life support

      Dr. Vishal Parackal | Conditions
    • When life makes you depend on Depends

      Francisco M. Torres, MD | Physician
    • Guilty until proven innocent? My experience with a state medical board.

      Jeffrey Hatef, Jr., MD | Physician
    • Why medical notes have become billing scripts instead of patient stories

      Sriman Swarup, MD, MBA | Tech
    • How denial of hypertension endangers lives and what doctors can do

      Dr. Aminat O. Akintola | Conditions
    • A powerful story of addiction, strength, and redemption

      Ryan McCarthy, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why transgender health care needs urgent reform and inclusive practices

      Angela Rodriguez, MD | Conditions
    • COVID-19 was real: a doctor’s frontline account

      Randall S. Fong, MD | Conditions
    • Why primary care doctors are drowning in debt despite saving lives

      John Wei, MD | Physician
    • New student loan caps could shut low-income students out of medicine

      Tom Phan, MD | Physician
    • Confessions of a lipidologist in recovery: the infection we’ve ignored for 40 years

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • mRNA post vaccination syndrome: Is it real?

      Harry Oken, MD | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • Why doctors should rethink investing compared to the average U.S. investor [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How chronic stress harms the heart in minority communities

      Monzur Morshed, MD and Kaysan Morshed | Conditions
    • Could antibiotics beat heart disease where statins failed?

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • The dying man who gave me flowers changed how I see care

      Augusta Uwah, MD | Physician
    • Universities must tap endowments to sustain biomedical research

      Adeel Khan, MD | Conditions
    • Exploring the science behind burnout [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 8 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why palliative care is more than just end-of-life support

      Dr. Vishal Parackal | Conditions
    • When life makes you depend on Depends

      Francisco M. Torres, MD | Physician
    • Guilty until proven innocent? My experience with a state medical board.

      Jeffrey Hatef, Jr., MD | Physician
    • Why medical notes have become billing scripts instead of patient stories

      Sriman Swarup, MD, MBA | Tech
    • How denial of hypertension endangers lives and what doctors can do

      Dr. Aminat O. Akintola | Conditions
    • A powerful story of addiction, strength, and redemption

      Ryan McCarthy, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why transgender health care needs urgent reform and inclusive practices

      Angela Rodriguez, MD | Conditions
    • COVID-19 was real: a doctor’s frontline account

      Randall S. Fong, MD | Conditions
    • Why primary care doctors are drowning in debt despite saving lives

      John Wei, MD | Physician
    • New student loan caps could shut low-income students out of medicine

      Tom Phan, MD | Physician
    • Confessions of a lipidologist in recovery: the infection we’ve ignored for 40 years

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • mRNA post vaccination syndrome: Is it real?

      Harry Oken, MD | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • Why doctors should rethink investing compared to the average U.S. investor [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How chronic stress harms the heart in minority communities

      Monzur Morshed, MD and Kaysan Morshed | Conditions
    • Could antibiotics beat heart disease where statins failed?

      Larry Kaskel, MD | Conditions
    • The dying man who gave me flowers changed how I see care

      Augusta Uwah, MD | Physician
    • Universities must tap endowments to sustain biomedical research

      Adeel Khan, MD | Conditions
    • Exploring the science behind burnout [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Here’s how poetry saved my life in medical school
8 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...