I was asked to present information about mental health to a lay audience. This is both an exciting and daunting task. I imagine it’s like asking someone to talk about fish. There are so many kinds of fish! They live in many habitats! Some of them look more like snakes than fish! There are so many directions to go.

I have given a “psychiatry 101” talk to many non-clinical audiences in the past. While reviewing my notes, it became clear that, while this presentation offers useful introduction, the underlying message is that psychiatry focuses on pathology. (This is a common theme in medicine: Doctors are often much better at looking for and finding things that are wrong than at pointing out and supporting things that are going well.)

So, here are three things about psychiatry that don’t focus on pathology:

People are resilient. I remain amazed with the capacity people have to take care of themselves and others when everything is falling apart.

Even though the majority of people experience terrible trauma—war, rapes, natural and unnatural disasters, etc.—most of them will not develop post-traumatic stress disorder. Most people at some point will experience heartbreaking grief following the death of a loved one, but the vast majority will not develop major depression or complicated grief.

People go to work, take care of children, and support their friends despite hearing disturbing voices, thinking about suicide, and feeling unsafe in public. They find ways to help themselves that have nothing to do with formal psychiatric interventions: The man hearing disturbing voices might put on headphones and play the same song over and over again. The woman thinking about suicide might sign up for an extra volunteer shift at the animal shelter, so she is around other people. The military veteran might sit in the rear corner of the movie theater.

Most people do OK most of the time.

It’s OK to not feel good. The goal of feeling happy or serene all the time is an impossible goal. Everyone at some point thinks disturbing thoughts. Just because it seems like everyone else is happy or serene doesn’t actually mean that they are happy or serene.

While our thoughts and emotions may seem illogical at times (“why am I thinking about that?” “why do I feel this way right now?”), that doesn’t mean that something is wrong. Sometimes your thoughts and emotions are treasure troves of information: Your internal experiences give you information about the person you’re talking to, the situation you’re in, and what your next steps should be.

The definitions of psychiatric disorders are not solely limited to “not feeling good” or disliking an emotional experience. Sometimes we don’t feel good. Sometimes that lasts longer than we want. But that doesn’t mean you have a terminal emotional illness.

Most people do OK most of the time.

Behaviors serve a purpose. We all do things that other people think are weird. The spectrum of weirdness is wide, but, if we are lucky to learn more, we can find out the basis behind the behavior.

Why doesn’t she speak up more? Because she believes that no one will find her remarks helpful.

Why won’t he wear anything other than sweatpants? Because he wants to spend his money on fancy cars.

Why won’t she stop smoking methamphetamine? Because it helps her stay awake at night so the men won’t rape her.

Why does he apologize all the time? Because, as a child, he learned that if he apologized a lot, he might be able to stop his father from beating him.

Why does he say things like, “I know a lot about wind” and “I know more about drones than anybody”? I mean, who knows. Is this the only way he knows how to interact with other people? Have these sorts of boasts helped him succeed in the past in relationships and business deals?

The definitions of psychiatric disorders are not solely limited to “doing weird things”. If we do certain things that help us or get things that we want, we will continue to do those things. Sometimes we continue to do those things even when they no longer help us as they once did. But that doesn’t mean you have a terminal psychiatric illness.

Most people do OK most of the time.

Maria Yang is a psychiatrist who blogs at her self-titled site, Maria Yang, MD.  

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