Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

From the other side of the table: a plea for empathy

Anonymous
Conditions
April 14, 2025
Share
Tweet
Share

Unless you’ve lived it,
you can’t fully understand.

We’ve all cared for patients with cancer. We’ve delivered hard news, sat beside bedsides, explained scan results, and offered hope when we could. We’ve been the calm in the storm. That’s what we were trained to do.

But being on the other side of the table changes everything.

When you become the patient, the world shifts beneath you. Suddenly, you’re the one in the gown, lying on the table for the scan. You’re the one waiting for the biopsy results, the blood work, the call. And no matter how much clinical knowledge you carry, it doesn’t shield you from the fear.

In fact, it sharpens it.

We know too much.
We understand the weight behind the words: Possible recurrence, progression, PET scan, metastasis.
We don’t need anyone to explain the levity of the outcome—because we already know.

But then again, our minds are a blur, so explain it to us where we are. We may not be able to process the news yet.

And so we wait.
On pins and needles.
For days, sometimes for weeks.
We check our phones compulsively, re-read lab reports, research every article, and wonder what’s being said at Tumor Board or behind closed doors.
We try to keep functioning, but our minds won’t quiet.
Because we’re clinging—clinging to each result with both fear and fragile hope.

When the news is good, we finally breathe again.
Our shoulders drop, our hearts stop racing.
We cry, we pray, we thank God for one more moment on this earth.
But until that moment comes, we live in a suspended place—a place patients know all too well.

So I ask this of you, as someone who’s stood where you stand and now sits where our patients sit:

If the news is good, don’t make us wait through the weekend.
If there’s reassurance you can give, give it.
Your voice can calm the storm we’re drowning in.
And if the news is hard—speak it with kindness.
Not just clinical accuracy, but human compassion.
Because when the news is bad, it doesn’t just hurt. It guts us.

Being a patient strips you bare.
It makes you feel vulnerable, exposed, and powerless in ways you can’t prepare for.
And while I wouldn’t wish this journey on anyone, I will say this:

It’s made me a better clinician.

Because now, I understand.
Deeply.
Intimately.
And I carry that empathy into every room I enter.

ADVERTISEMENT

I hope you will, too.

With gratitude,
From the other side of the table.

The author is an anonymous clinician.

Prev

From healers to influencers: How fear took over health care advice

April 14, 2025 Kevin 0
…
Next

AI in health care: the black box of prior authorization

April 14, 2025 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
From healers to influencers: How fear took over health care advice
Next Post >
AI in health care: the black box of prior authorization

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Anonymous

  • When the white coats become gatekeepers: How a quiet cartel strangles America’s health

    Anonymous
  • Graduating from medical school without family: a story of strength and survival

    Anonymous
  • Why young doctors in South Korea feel broken before they even begin

    Anonymous

Related Posts

  • The solution to a crumbling primary care foundation is direct primary care

    Sara Pastoor, MD
  • Health care’s hidden problem: hospital primary care losses

    Christopher Habig, MBA
  • The rise of direct primary care in America

    Andy Bonner
  • Fostering health care innovation through federal policy: a case for direct primary care

    Christopher Habig, MBA
  • America’s “sick” secret and the need for a primary care czar

    Kyna Fong, PhD
  • Adapting to survive: lessons from Blockbuster for primary care

    Trisha Swift, DNP, RN

More in Conditions

  • Why PSA levels alone shouldn’t define your prostate cancer risk

    Martina Ambardjieva, MD, PhD
  • Reframing chronic pain and dignity: What a pain clinic teaches us about MAiD and chronic suffering

    Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD
  • America’s ER crisis: Why the system is collapsing from within

    Kristen Cline, BSN, RN
  • Why timing, not surgery, determines patient survival

    Michael Karch, MD
  • Why psychotherapy works and why psychotherapy fails

    Peggy A. Rothbaum, PhD
  • How oral health silently affects your heart, brain, and body

    Charles Reinertsen, DMD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why timing, not surgery, determines patient survival

      Michael Karch, MD | Conditions
    • Why health care leaders fail at execution—and how to fix it

      Dave Cummings, RN | Policy
    • How digital tools are reshaping the doctor-patient relationship

      Vineet Vishwanath | Tech
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • The hidden health risks in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act

      Trevor Lyford, MPH | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Why point-of-care ultrasound belongs in every emergency department triage [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why PSA levels alone shouldn’t define your prostate cancer risk

      Martina Ambardjieva, MD, PhD | Conditions
    • How to handle chronically late patients in your medical practice

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • Reframing chronic pain and dignity: What a pain clinic teaches us about MAiD and chronic suffering

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • How early meetings and after-hours events penalize physician-mothers

      Samira Jeimy, MD, PhD and Menaka Pai, MD | Physician
    • Why medicine must evolve to support modern physicians

      Ryan Nadelson, MD | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 1 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why timing, not surgery, determines patient survival

      Michael Karch, MD | Conditions
    • Why health care leaders fail at execution—and how to fix it

      Dave Cummings, RN | Policy
    • How digital tools are reshaping the doctor-patient relationship

      Vineet Vishwanath | Tech
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • The hidden health risks in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act

      Trevor Lyford, MPH | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Why point-of-care ultrasound belongs in every emergency department triage [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why PSA levels alone shouldn’t define your prostate cancer risk

      Martina Ambardjieva, MD, PhD | Conditions
    • How to handle chronically late patients in your medical practice

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • Reframing chronic pain and dignity: What a pain clinic teaches us about MAiD and chronic suffering

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • How early meetings and after-hours events penalize physician-mothers

      Samira Jeimy, MD, PhD and Menaka Pai, MD | Physician
    • Why medicine must evolve to support modern physicians

      Ryan Nadelson, MD | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

From the other side of the table: a plea for empathy
1 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...