Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Saying goodbye: Seeing a patient just admitted to hospice care

Kathy Nieder, MD
Physician
February 4, 2013
Share
Tweet
Share

It’s Friday afternoon and I check the day’s schedule. A name jumps out at me and I groan a little and worry — what am I going to say to someone I’ve treated for twenty years, who’s my age and just been admitted to hospice care? If this is goodbye, how do I as a physician, who is more than an acquaintance but not quite a friend, handle this appointment?

All kinds of things go through my head. Do I really want to charge for this? How bad will he look? Can I keep from crying? Is there anything I can do for him anyway? Will I ask the right questions? Will I say the right things?

He comes with a relative. He is living alone but they have found a nursing home that he liked today and he hopes to transition there quickly. He has one sorrow and one fear. He needs to find a home for his dog of 14 years. He shows me a picture of a cute lap dog of some sort. Amazingly, during his last hospital stay he met someone who is willing to take care of the dog. His fear is how breathless he will be near the end. I reassure him that every effort will be made to make him comfortable and he should not suffer.

We talk a little about his parents, with whom he has been estranged for some time. He assures me that he has spoken with them. They are older and have had their own medical challenges. I cannot imagine how they feel. He jokes a little about his relationship with them.

Finally it is time for him to go. He looks tired, but not that ill. He asks me if he should try to eat, he doesn’t have much appetite, and I encourage him to eat whatever he wants. He stands up and gives me a hug, whispering “I love you” in my ear as he does. After reminding me that the phone is a good method of communication, he leaves.

I am lost in thought and emotion but still have two more patients to see. I take a breath, walk into the next room and apologize for my tardiness. It’s probably obvious that I’m upset but the rhythm of seeing patients takes over and, somehow, reassures me.

Kathy Nieder is a family physician who blogs at Family Practice 2.0.

Prev

Experiencing the revolving door of physicians in the hospital

February 4, 2013 Kevin 3
…
Next

The ethics of EMR: How unproven technology affects patients

February 4, 2013 Kevin 5
…

Tagged as: Palliative Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Experiencing the revolving door of physicians in the hospital
Next Post >
The ethics of EMR: How unproven technology affects patients

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Kathy Nieder, MD

  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    Forms do not keep patients out of hospitals

    Kathy Nieder, MD
  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    How social media recharged this physician

    Kathy Nieder, MD
  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    We speak volumes to our patients without opening our mouths

    Kathy Nieder, MD

More in Physician

  • Adriana Smith’s story: a medical tragedy under heartbeat laws

    Nicole M. King, MD
  • Why U.S. health care pricing is so confusing—and how to fix it

    Ashish Mandavia, MD
  • From survival to sovereignty: What 35 years in the ER taught me about identity, mortality, and redemption

    Kenneth Ro, MD
  • When doctors forget how to examine: the danger of lost clinical skills

    Mike Stillman, MD
  • When the white coats become gatekeepers: How a quiet cartel strangles America’s health

    Anonymous
  • The man in seat 11A survived, but why don’t our patients?

    Dr. Vivek Podder
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why removing fluoride from water is a public health disaster

      Steven J. Katz, DDS | Conditions
    • When did we start treating our lives like trauma?

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • Why male fertility needs to be part of every health conversation

      Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian | Conditions
    • How home-based AI can reduce health inequities in underserved communities [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Inside human trafficking: a guide to recognizing and preventing it [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Graduating from medical school without family: a story of strength and survival

      Anonymous | Education
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
    • My journey from misdiagnosis to living fully with APBD

      Jeff Cooper | Conditions
    • Addressing the physician shortage: How AI can help, not replace

      Amelia Mercado | Tech
    • Why does rifaximin cost 95 percent more in the U.S. than in Asia?

      Jai Kumar, MD, Brian Nohomovich, DO, PhD and Leonid Shamban, DO | Meds
  • Recent Posts

    • How home-based AI can reduce health inequities in underserved communities [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Adriana Smith’s story: a medical tragedy under heartbeat laws

      Nicole M. King, MD | Physician
    • What if medicine had an exit interview?

      Lynn McComas, DNP, ANP-C | Conditions
    • Why U.S. health care pricing is so confusing—and how to fix it

      Ashish Mandavia, MD | Physician
    • From survival to sovereignty: What 35 years in the ER taught me about identity, mortality, and redemption

      Kenneth Ro, MD | Physician
    • When doctors forget how to examine: the danger of lost clinical skills

      Mike Stillman, MD | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 6 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why removing fluoride from water is a public health disaster

      Steven J. Katz, DDS | Conditions
    • When did we start treating our lives like trauma?

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • Why male fertility needs to be part of every health conversation

      Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian | Conditions
    • How home-based AI can reduce health inequities in underserved communities [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Inside human trafficking: a guide to recognizing and preventing it [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Graduating from medical school without family: a story of strength and survival

      Anonymous | Education
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • The silent toll of ICE raids on U.S. patient care

      Carlin Lockwood | Policy
    • My journey from misdiagnosis to living fully with APBD

      Jeff Cooper | Conditions
    • Addressing the physician shortage: How AI can help, not replace

      Amelia Mercado | Tech
    • Why does rifaximin cost 95 percent more in the U.S. than in Asia?

      Jai Kumar, MD, Brian Nohomovich, DO, PhD and Leonid Shamban, DO | Meds
  • Recent Posts

    • How home-based AI can reduce health inequities in underserved communities [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Adriana Smith’s story: a medical tragedy under heartbeat laws

      Nicole M. King, MD | Physician
    • What if medicine had an exit interview?

      Lynn McComas, DNP, ANP-C | Conditions
    • Why U.S. health care pricing is so confusing—and how to fix it

      Ashish Mandavia, MD | Physician
    • From survival to sovereignty: What 35 years in the ER taught me about identity, mortality, and redemption

      Kenneth Ro, MD | Physician
    • When doctors forget how to examine: the danger of lost clinical skills

      Mike Stillman, MD | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Saying goodbye: Seeing a patient just admitted to hospice care
6 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...