Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
KevinMD
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking
KevinMD
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking
  • About KevinMD | Kevin Pho, MD
  • Be heard on social media’s leading physician voice
  • Contact Kevin
  • Discounted enhanced author page
  • DMCA Policy
  • Establishing, Managing, and Protecting Your Online Reputation: A Social Media Guide for Physicians and Medical Practices
  • Group vs. individual disability insurance for doctors: pros and cons
  • KevinMD influencer opportunities
  • Opinion and commentary by KevinMD
  • Physician burnout speakers to keynote your conference
  • Physician Coaching by KevinMD
  • Physician keynote speaker: Kevin Pho, MD
  • Physician Speaking by KevinMD: a boutique speakers bureau
  • Primary care physician in Nashua, NH | Kevin Pho, MD
  • Privacy Policy
  • Recommended services by KevinMD
  • Terms of Use Agreement
  • Thank you for subscribing to KevinMD
  • Thank you for upgrading to the KevinMD enhanced author page
  • The biggest mistake doctors make when purchasing disability insurance
  • The doctor’s guide to disability insurance: short-term vs. long-term
  • The KevinMD ToolKit
  • Upgrade to the KevinMD enhanced author page
  • Why own-occupation disability insurance is a must for doctors

She didn’t want to be seen by a gay doctor

Pragya Kalla
Education
June 4, 2017
Share
Tweet
Share

Amidst the mid-morning rush at clinic, I’m saying goodbye to a patient whose visit just concluded. In the corner of my eye, I see a woman sitting in the area where patients wait after they have gotten their vitals. She is shifting continuously in her seat. Suddenly, the woman springs up out of her chair and walks toward the nurses’ station. The patient I am speaking with remarks, “Oh! Wonder what’s up with her?”

It turns out the shifty woman is one of our patients. The resident I am working with that day (we’ll name him Steve) calls her to come into the exam room. The woman stays seated and is staring down at her phone. After saying her name a few more times (slightly louder each time), the woman finally gets up and comes into the exam room. Her gaze remains fixed on her phone. After establishing that she needs a health maintenance form filled out for work, Steve begins to ask her a few questions. Upon seeing that the woman still won’t make eye contact, Steve requests that the woman put her phone away.

She replies, “I can hear you just fine,” and continues to scroll aimlessly on her phone. I know Steve. He is animated, opinionated, walks way too fast, and never fails to speak his mind. He also has very specific pet peeves, one of which is patients not paying attention to him while he is trying to speak to them. Needless to say at this point, I could see the back of his neck quivering. He once again asked the woman to put away her phone, so they could discuss items that needed to be updated in her chart. She exclaimed, “Excuse me?!” once again refusing the request and kept giving curt one-word replies to any questions we asked.

It was now time for me to do her physical. She finally made eye contact and cooperated during the exam. As I was doing her HEENT exam, Steve asked in a gentler tone “Are you doing ok? Is everything alright?” She looked down and mumbled, “I’m just sleepy.” After this, we sent her to wait outside for the nurse so she could get an immunization. It was a baffling encounter.

Steve left the room while I was looking up information about our next patient. He came back after some time and told me the patient spoke to the nurse while getting her immunization. The reason her affect was so distant was that she was infuriated at being seen by a gay doctor.

I was shocked. Yes, Steve is gay. And yes, I suppose if you were meeting him for the first time you might mentally make that assumption without him telling you. But this was the first time I had seen a patient be so rude to a person who was responsible for taking care of not only her health but that of so many of his other patients. This fact saddened me, but I was also disheartened by the way Steve told me the news and then continued with his busy day seemingly unaffected.

It made me think, “I guess this isn’t the first time something like this has happened.” Steve did what he had to do, and I realized that if we are the only ones available to help at the time, no matter how unpleasant, racist, misogynistic, or homophobic a patient is, as health care providers we can never turn our backs to the principles of nonmaleficence and beneficence.

Pragya Kalla is a medical student.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Overweight patients are not necessarily lazy

June 4, 2017 Kevin 4
…
Next

How Trumpcare affects this medical student

June 5, 2017 Kevin 2
…

Tagged as: Primary Care

< Previous Post
Overweight patients are not necessarily lazy
Next Post >
How Trumpcare affects this medical student

ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

  • Osler and the doctor-patient relationship

    Leonard Wang
  • Be a human first and a doctor second

    Sarah Murad
  • Becoming a doctor is the epitome of delayed gratification

    Natasha Abadilla
  • Doctor, how are you, really?

    Deborah Courtney
  • A vow to never become a robot doctor

    Lauren Joseph
  • What challenges do you see yourself facing as a doctor?

    Eric Tian

More in Education

  • Physician autonomy and the hidden curriculum of medicine

    Gus W. Krucke, MD
  • A medical school dismissal highlights disability discrimination

    Anonymous
  • Why tiered clerkship grading fails medical students today

    Anika Pruthi
  • Medical school rankings reshape what they measure

    Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA
  • The rising cost of clinical placements for nursing students

    Ksenia Kiseleva, RN
  • Why nature-based medicine is the future of health care

    John La Puma, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Primary care crisis requires new training and skills

      Justin Oldfield, MD | Physician
    • Physician retirement is a myth for the ripening doctor

      Farid Sabet-Sharghi, MD | Physician
    • Expanding the SOAP framework boosts health outcomes

      Deepak Gupta, MD and Sarwan Kumar, MD | Physician
    • The handwashing standard nobody finished. Until now.

      Bernadette Burroughs, RN | Conditions
    • Primary care access is the real problem, not the system

      Payam Zamani, MD | Physician
    • AI chatbots and patient safety need physician design

      Tod Stillson, MD | Tech
  • Past 6 Months

    • I Googled my own name and a corporate clinic I’ve never worked at appeared [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Primary care crisis requires new training and skills

      Justin Oldfield, MD | Physician
    • How corporate health care ruined the medical profession

      Edmond Cabbabe, MD | Physician
    • Why nature-based medicine is the future of health care

      John La Puma, MD | Education
    • Medicare practice expense cuts will hurt patients

      John Birkmeyer, MD | Policy
    • How xenotransplantation could finally solve organ shortages

      Rafael S. Garcia-Cortes, MD | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • AI chatbots and patient safety need physician design

      Tod Stillson, MD | Tech
    • Reclaiming the lost art of the physical exam

      Ann Lebeck, MD | Physician
    • Primary aldosteronism hides behind high blood pressure

      Sanjay B. Dixit, MD | Conditions
    • Cognitive overload in cardiac arrest is a human problem

      Michael Peck, MD | Conditions
    • Artificial intelligence can prevent a delayed diagnosis

      Uday Rajaram | Tech
    • Health insurance coverage loss threatens sick children

      Mansi Kotwal, MD, MPH | Policy

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 7 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Primary care crisis requires new training and skills

      Justin Oldfield, MD | Physician
    • Physician retirement is a myth for the ripening doctor

      Farid Sabet-Sharghi, MD | Physician
    • Expanding the SOAP framework boosts health outcomes

      Deepak Gupta, MD and Sarwan Kumar, MD | Physician
    • The handwashing standard nobody finished. Until now.

      Bernadette Burroughs, RN | Conditions
    • Primary care access is the real problem, not the system

      Payam Zamani, MD | Physician
    • AI chatbots and patient safety need physician design

      Tod Stillson, MD | Tech
  • Past 6 Months

    • I Googled my own name and a corporate clinic I’ve never worked at appeared [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Primary care crisis requires new training and skills

      Justin Oldfield, MD | Physician
    • How corporate health care ruined the medical profession

      Edmond Cabbabe, MD | Physician
    • Why nature-based medicine is the future of health care

      John La Puma, MD | Education
    • Medicare practice expense cuts will hurt patients

      John Birkmeyer, MD | Policy
    • How xenotransplantation could finally solve organ shortages

      Rafael S. Garcia-Cortes, MD | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • AI chatbots and patient safety need physician design

      Tod Stillson, MD | Tech
    • Reclaiming the lost art of the physical exam

      Ann Lebeck, MD | Physician
    • Primary aldosteronism hides behind high blood pressure

      Sanjay B. Dixit, MD | Conditions
    • Cognitive overload in cardiac arrest is a human problem

      Michael Peck, MD | Conditions
    • Artificial intelligence can prevent a delayed diagnosis

      Uday Rajaram | Tech
    • Health insurance coverage loss threatens sick children

      Mansi Kotwal, MD, MPH | Policy

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today

Copyright © 2026 KevinMD.com | Powered by Astra WordPress Theme

  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

She didn’t want to be seen by a gay doctor
7 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...