Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

A surprising way to connect with the most difficult individuals

Edwin Leap, MD
Physician
June 19, 2018
Share
Tweet
Share

I have met, in the emergency department, some fierce individuals. Sometimes they can be terrifying.  Their clothes, their manner, their demeanor, the way they pace, all suggest potential danger.  They seem clearly capable of violence.  They look at me with distrust, expecting to be disrespected, dismissed, treated harshly.

Sometimes, they are covered in piercings; a thing alien to me.  Other times, the symbology on their clothes speaks volumes.  My colleagues in other areas doubtless are experts in gang-colors and signs.

And sometimes, even where I practice, my patients (or the parents of my patients) have their entire bodies marked with the blue ink of tattoos.  Not the kind of nice, suburban parlors where well-financed young people express their safe rebellion, followed by a frappuccino.

I mean the tattoos that cry out gangs, hatred, pain or loss. Tattoos that speak of prison and that seem to be dermatologic epics along the lines of Ray Bradbury’s Illustrated Man.

And yet, I have learned something.  Something very powerful.

When they bring their wives, their husbands, their infants and children, they are as vulnerable as the rest of us.  And when they do, we can break through the psychological warfare of marks and clothes, of ink and signs.  And we do it by treating their loved ones with love.

The most imposing man or woman will melt when we show genuine concern and love for their spouses, partners or children.  They will smile when we say, “What a beautiful child!” They will shake our hands, or hug us, when we say, “This is scary, but she’s going to be just fine,” and we mean it. And when we sit by the bed and talk to them as humans, as fellow spouses and parents.

Jesus was so concise.  “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”

Love them the way you want to be loved, no matter how they look, no matter how you have been conditioned to view the external, dermatological and emotional armor they wear to defend themselves.

And who among us doesn’t have some armor of his own? Ours our stethoscopes and lab coats, educations and houses, influence and position.

Love them, and you’ll break through. And maybe they’ll break through yours as well.

Edwin Leap is an emergency physician who blogs at edwinleap.com and is the author of the Practice Test and Life in Emergistan. 

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

ADVERTISEMENT

Prev

An innovative approach to fix the generic drug shortage

June 19, 2018 Kevin 0
…
Next

Fixing primary care's broken business model

June 19, 2018 Kevin 11
…

Tagged as: Emergency Medicine, Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
An innovative approach to fix the generic drug shortage
Next Post >
Fixing primary care's broken business model

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Edwin Leap, MD

  • The emergency department crisis: Why patient boarding is dangerous

    Edwin Leap, MD
  • Hospitals at a breaking point: Lack of staff and resources leave ERs in chaos

    Edwin Leap, MD
  • Trapped in a cauldron of suffering, medical staff are weary

    Edwin Leap, MD

Related Posts

  • Surprising and unlikely rewards of social media engagement by physicians

    Lisa Chan, MD
  • She sees difficult patients, but is a difficult patient herself

    Kristin Puhl, MD
  • A physician’s addiction to social media

    Amanda Xi, MD
  • Primary care faces a very difficult winter

    Ken Terry
  • 3 surprising links to medical errors

    Health eCareers
  • 10 tips for delivering difficult pediatric diagnoses

    Laura Spiegel

More in Physician

  • Why Canada is losing its skilled immigrant doctors

    Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD
  • Why doctors are reclaiming control from burnout culture

    Maureen Gibbons, MD
  • Why screening for diseases you might have can backfire

    Andy Lazris, MD and Alan Roth, DO
  • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

    Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD
  • International doctors blocked by visa delays as U.S. faces physician shortage

    Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA
  • How I redesigned my life as a physician without abandoning medicine

    Ben Reinking, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • How community paramedicine impacts Indigenous elders

      Noah Weinberg | Conditions
    • Why doctors are reclaiming control from burnout culture

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • Addressing U.S. vaccine inequities in vulnerable communities [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • How medical culture hides burnout in plain sight

      Marco Benítez | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • Addressing U.S. vaccine inequities in vulnerable communities [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why Canada is losing its skilled immigrant doctors

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Why doctors are reclaiming control from burnout culture

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • Would The Pitts’ Dr. Robby Robinavitch welcome a new colleague? Yes. Especially if their initials were AI.

      Gabe Jones, MBA | Tech
    • Why medicine must stop worshipping burnout and start valuing humanity

      Sarah White, APRN | Conditions
    • Why screening for diseases you might have can backfire

      Andy Lazris, MD and Alan Roth, DO | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 4 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • How community paramedicine impacts Indigenous elders

      Noah Weinberg | Conditions
    • Why doctors are reclaiming control from burnout culture

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • Addressing U.S. vaccine inequities in vulnerable communities [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
  • Past 6 Months

    • Why tracking cognitive load could save doctors and patients

      Hiba Fatima Hamid | Education
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • Here’s what providers really need in a modern EHR

      Laura Kohlhagen, MD, MBA | Tech
    • What the world must learn from the life and death of Hind Rajab

      Saba Qaiser, RN | Conditions
    • How medical culture hides burnout in plain sight

      Marco Benítez | Conditions
  • Recent Posts

    • Addressing U.S. vaccine inequities in vulnerable communities [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why Canada is losing its skilled immigrant doctors

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Physician
    • Why doctors are reclaiming control from burnout culture

      Maureen Gibbons, MD | Physician
    • Would The Pitts’ Dr. Robby Robinavitch welcome a new colleague? Yes. Especially if their initials were AI.

      Gabe Jones, MBA | Tech
    • Why medicine must stop worshipping burnout and start valuing humanity

      Sarah White, APRN | Conditions
    • Why screening for diseases you might have can backfire

      Andy Lazris, MD and Alan Roth, DO | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

A surprising way to connect with the most difficult individuals
4 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...