Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

A surprising way to connect with the most difficult individuals

Edwin Leap, MD
Physician
June 19, 2018
Share
Tweet
Share

I have met, in the emergency department, some fierce individuals. Sometimes they can be terrifying.  Their clothes, their manner, their demeanor, the way they pace, all suggest potential danger.  They seem clearly capable of violence.  They look at me with distrust, expecting to be disrespected, dismissed, treated harshly.

Sometimes, they are covered in piercings; a thing alien to me.  Other times, the symbology on their clothes speaks volumes.  My colleagues in other areas doubtless are experts in gang-colors and signs.

And sometimes, even where I practice, my patients (or the parents of my patients) have their entire bodies marked with the blue ink of tattoos.  Not the kind of nice, suburban parlors where well-financed young people express their safe rebellion, followed by a frappuccino.

I mean the tattoos that cry out gangs, hatred, pain or loss. Tattoos that speak of prison and that seem to be dermatologic epics along the lines of Ray Bradbury’s Illustrated Man.

And yet, I have learned something.  Something very powerful.

When they bring their wives, their husbands, their infants and children, they are as vulnerable as the rest of us.  And when they do, we can break through the psychological warfare of marks and clothes, of ink and signs.  And we do it by treating their loved ones with love.

The most imposing man or woman will melt when we show genuine concern and love for their spouses, partners or children.  They will smile when we say, “What a beautiful child!” They will shake our hands, or hug us, when we say, “This is scary, but she’s going to be just fine,” and we mean it. And when we sit by the bed and talk to them as humans, as fellow spouses and parents.

Jesus was so concise.  “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”

Love them the way you want to be loved, no matter how they look, no matter how you have been conditioned to view the external, dermatological and emotional armor they wear to defend themselves.

And who among us doesn’t have some armor of his own? Ours our stethoscopes and lab coats, educations and houses, influence and position.

Love them, and you’ll break through. And maybe they’ll break through yours as well.

Edwin Leap is an emergency physician who blogs at edwinleap.com and is the author of the Practice Test and Life in Emergistan. 

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

ADVERTISEMENT

Prev

An innovative approach to fix the generic drug shortage

June 19, 2018 Kevin 0
…
Next

Fixing primary care's broken business model

June 19, 2018 Kevin 11
…

Tagged as: Emergency Medicine, Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
An innovative approach to fix the generic drug shortage
Next Post >
Fixing primary care's broken business model

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Edwin Leap, MD

  • The emergency department crisis: Why patient boarding is dangerous

    Edwin Leap, MD
  • Hospitals at a breaking point: Lack of staff and resources leave ERs in chaos

    Edwin Leap, MD
  • Trapped in a cauldron of suffering, medical staff are weary

    Edwin Leap, MD

Related Posts

  • Surprising and unlikely rewards of social media engagement by physicians

    Lisa Chan, MD
  • She sees difficult patients, but is a difficult patient herself

    Kristin Puhl, MD
  • A physician’s addiction to social media

    Amanda Xi, MD
  • Primary care faces a very difficult winter

    Ken Terry
  • 3 surprising links to medical errors

    Health eCareers
  • 10 tips for delivering difficult pediatric diagnoses

    Laura Spiegel

More in Physician

  • How I learned to love my unique name as a doctor

    Zoran Naumovski, MD
  • What Beauty and the Beast taught me about risk

    Jayson Greenberg, MD
  • Creating safe, authentic group experiences

    Diane W. Shannon, MD, MPH
  • How tragedy shaped a medical career

    Ronald L. Lindsay, MD
  • A doctor’s guide to preparing for your death

    Joseph Pepe, MD
  • How policy and stigma block addiction treatment

    Mariana Ndrio, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The human case for preserving the nipple after mastectomy

      Thomas Amburn, MD | Conditions
    • Nuclear verdicts and rising costs: How inflation is reshaping medical malpractice claims

      Robert E. White, Jr. & The Doctors Company | Policy
    • How new loan caps could destroy diversity in medical education

      Caleb Andrus-Gazyeva | Policy
    • IMGs are the future of U.S. primary care

      Adam Brandon Bondoc, MD | Physician
    • From nurse practitioner to leader in quality improvement [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The crushing bureaucracy that’s driving independent physicians to extinction

      Scott Tzorfas, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Health equity in Inland Southern California requires urgent action

      Vishruth Nagam | Policy
    • How restrictive opioid policies worsen the crisis

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • Why primary care needs better dermatology training

      Alex Siauw | Conditions
    • New student loan caps could shut low-income students out of medicine

      Tom Phan, MD | Physician
    • Why pain doctors face unfair scrutiny and harsh penalties in California

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • Love, birds, and fries: a story of innocence and connection

      Dr. Damane Zehra | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Why Hollywood’s allergy jokes are dangerous

      Lianne Mandelbaum, PT | Conditions
    • How I learned to love my unique name as a doctor

      Zoran Naumovski, MD | Physician
    • My first week on night float as a medical student

      Amish Jain | Education
    • What Beauty and the Beast taught me about risk

      Jayson Greenberg, MD | Physician
    • Creating safe, authentic group experiences

      Diane W. Shannon, MD, MPH | Physician
    • The diseconomics of scale: How Indian pharma’s race to scale backfires on U.S. patients

      Adwait Chafale | Meds

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 4 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The human case for preserving the nipple after mastectomy

      Thomas Amburn, MD | Conditions
    • Nuclear verdicts and rising costs: How inflation is reshaping medical malpractice claims

      Robert E. White, Jr. & The Doctors Company | Policy
    • How new loan caps could destroy diversity in medical education

      Caleb Andrus-Gazyeva | Policy
    • IMGs are the future of U.S. primary care

      Adam Brandon Bondoc, MD | Physician
    • From nurse practitioner to leader in quality improvement [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The crushing bureaucracy that’s driving independent physicians to extinction

      Scott Tzorfas, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Health equity in Inland Southern California requires urgent action

      Vishruth Nagam | Policy
    • How restrictive opioid policies worsen the crisis

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • Why primary care needs better dermatology training

      Alex Siauw | Conditions
    • New student loan caps could shut low-income students out of medicine

      Tom Phan, MD | Physician
    • Why pain doctors face unfair scrutiny and harsh penalties in California

      Kayvan Haddadan, MD | Physician
    • Love, birds, and fries: a story of innocence and connection

      Dr. Damane Zehra | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Why Hollywood’s allergy jokes are dangerous

      Lianne Mandelbaum, PT | Conditions
    • How I learned to love my unique name as a doctor

      Zoran Naumovski, MD | Physician
    • My first week on night float as a medical student

      Amish Jain | Education
    • What Beauty and the Beast taught me about risk

      Jayson Greenberg, MD | Physician
    • Creating safe, authentic group experiences

      Diane W. Shannon, MD, MPH | Physician
    • The diseconomics of scale: How Indian pharma’s race to scale backfires on U.S. patients

      Adwait Chafale | Meds

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

A surprising way to connect with the most difficult individuals
4 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...