Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Infertility as a physician: the gift of perspective

Kate Hoppock, DO
Conditions
October 3, 2020
Share
Tweet
Share

As physicians, we know all too well how life can change in an instant.  How tomorrow is never promised.  This knowledge can sometimes feel overwhelming, but it is also a gift.

Because we know how precious life is.

I am a physician—but I am also a patient.  An infertility patient, for whom each passing year can feel like a lost opportunity.

Because my eggs don’t have the perspective. They don’t see the privilege. They are in a rush.

My path towards motherhood was later than others.  I spent my best, fertile years in medical school and residency, waiting for the “right” time.

I’ve been asked: Am I grateful or angry for those years?  It may surprise you that I can say both.

During my fertility journey, there was a combination of emotions I felt on a regular basis—hope, grief, compassion, fear, love, jealousy, determination, and anger.

Above all else, as a physician, I felt conflicted. How dare I feel sorry for myself? How easy it was to move from self-pity to anger.

Anger: that no one educated me about infertility awareness, about family planning—how is this not a part of our education?

Anger: that at age thirty-five, I was already classified as “advanced maternal age.”

Anger: that my body seemed to be failing me at such a “young” age.

But there was gratitude, too.  And gratitude is stronger.

Gratitude: for the knowledge I have gained about infertility awareness.

ADVERTISEMENT

Gratitude: for the opportunity to have access to medical care to help me start my family.

Gratitude: for the community I became a part of—1 in 8 of all women—because it is all too easy to feel isolated in our journeys.

And after all the ups and downs over the last five years, I have been given the greatest of all my gifts: my two sons.

It is because of all this that I share my story.

Today, when people ask me when I’m having another child (just like early on when I was asked when I was going to start having children), I don’t just smile politely and say, “Oh, I’m not ready yet,” I tell it like it is. I share my story—the revolving door of specialists, the constant anxiety of IVF, the sobering consideration of surrogacy and adoption—because in doing so, I might help at least one other woman.

I want all medical students and residents to have infertility awareness.  So they can be educated to make decisions that are best for them.  So they are not blind-sided when they are ready to start a family.

I became a fertility and life coach so I can help other women find confidence and clarity on their journeys.  They will not be alone.  We can make it better together.

I am hoping to go through IVF again in 2021.  When I do so, I know I will have help. I will not be alone, either.

I am grateful for each year, each experience, each challenge—to become a better version of myself.

A better wife, mother, doctor.

What a gift.

Kate Hoppock is an internal medicine physician.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

How to (almost) never have a bad shift

October 3, 2020 Kevin 0
…
Next

How to be an empathetic and compassionate communicator

October 3, 2020 Kevin 1
…

Tagged as: OB/GYN

Post navigation

< Previous Post
How to (almost) never have a bad shift
Next Post >
How to be an empathetic and compassionate communicator

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Kate Hoppock, DO

  • Normalizing infertility conversations in the workplace

    Kate Hoppock, DO
  • Infertility: Where uncertainty is the only thing that is certain

    Kate Hoppock, DO

Related Posts

  • Prescribing medication from a patient’s and physician’s perspective

    Michael Kirsch, MD
  • A physician’s addiction to social media

    Amanda Xi, MD
  • How a physician keynote can highlight your conference

    Kevin Pho, MD
  • Chasing numbers contributes to physician burnout

    DrizzleMD
  • The black physician’s burden

    Naomi Tweyo Nkinsi
  • Why this physician supports Medicare for all

    Thad Salmon, MD

More in Conditions

  • Why PSA levels alone shouldn’t define your prostate cancer risk

    Martina Ambardjieva, MD, PhD
  • Reframing chronic pain and dignity: What a pain clinic teaches us about MAiD and chronic suffering

    Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD
  • America’s ER crisis: Why the system is collapsing from within

    Kristen Cline, BSN, RN
  • Why timing, not surgery, determines patient survival

    Michael Karch, MD
  • Why psychotherapy works and why psychotherapy fails

    Peggy A. Rothbaum, PhD
  • How oral health silently affects your heart, brain, and body

    Charles Reinertsen, DMD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why timing, not surgery, determines patient survival

      Michael Karch, MD | Conditions
    • Why health care leaders fail at execution—and how to fix it

      Dave Cummings, RN | Policy
    • How digital tools are reshaping the doctor-patient relationship

      Vineet Vishwanath | Tech
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • The hidden health risks in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act

      Trevor Lyford, MPH | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Why point-of-care ultrasound belongs in every emergency department triage [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why PSA levels alone shouldn’t define your prostate cancer risk

      Martina Ambardjieva, MD, PhD | Conditions
    • How to handle chronically late patients in your medical practice

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • Reframing chronic pain and dignity: What a pain clinic teaches us about MAiD and chronic suffering

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • How early meetings and after-hours events penalize physician-mothers

      Samira Jeimy, MD, PhD and Menaka Pai, MD | Physician
    • Why medicine must evolve to support modern physicians

      Ryan Nadelson, MD | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why timing, not surgery, determines patient survival

      Michael Karch, MD | Conditions
    • Why health care leaders fail at execution—and how to fix it

      Dave Cummings, RN | Policy
    • How digital tools are reshaping the doctor-patient relationship

      Vineet Vishwanath | Tech
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • The hidden health risks in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act

      Trevor Lyford, MPH | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Why point-of-care ultrasound belongs in every emergency department triage [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why PSA levels alone shouldn’t define your prostate cancer risk

      Martina Ambardjieva, MD, PhD | Conditions
    • How to handle chronically late patients in your medical practice

      Neil Baum, MD | Physician
    • Reframing chronic pain and dignity: What a pain clinic teaches us about MAiD and chronic suffering

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • How early meetings and after-hours events penalize physician-mothers

      Samira Jeimy, MD, PhD and Menaka Pai, MD | Physician
    • Why medicine must evolve to support modern physicians

      Ryan Nadelson, MD | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...