My friends and I spent Thanksgiving 2018 attending surf school in Jacó, Costa Rica. We spent that week fully immersed in twice-daily surf sessions interspersed with conditioning, balance exercises, and of course, downtime to explore the town and rainforests of Jacó. Having been on a surfboard only a handful of times previously, this was a new experience for me. Our surf instructors quickly got us out on the water, and …
In his 1862 novel, Fathers and Sons, Ivan Turgenev describes (spoiler alert) a death from sepsis in excruciating detail. There is nothing to do but comfort the man in the throes of mortality, his parents, and unrequited love at his bedside.
Today, thankfully, modern technology and processes can deliver a quick diagnosis and treatment, often saving the patient’s life and about two weeks of brutal suffering. Technology is essential, but attention …
A fellow forensic pathologist cornered me at a conference and told me her story in whispers, afraid to be overheard.
“You wouldn’t believe what happened to me.”
“What?” I said, leaning closer. “Are you OK?”
“I was asked to do a second autopsy by the family of a man who died in police custody. When I got to the neck, I …
Physicians are leaving the broken medical system at unprecedented rates. We continue through a war with an uncertain liberation day, and we are exhausted. Meanwhile, the only battlefront in which we have control is that of our mind. We have not been taught how to tame this beast. If we hope to thrive in medicine, we need to “capture our thoughts” and redirect how these result in feelings, actions, and …
An excerpt from You What?!: Humorous Stories, Cautionary Tales, and Unexpected Insights About A Career in Medicine.
The relationship between physicians and nurses is a complicated one. We are both there to “Take care of the patient.” Each has their own role. Doctors are undeniably in charge of ‘their patient’s care.” Particularly in an operating room. Somebody has …
“We need to shampoo the patients’ hair,” said Kristen, a physician assistant with a two-foot flaxen rope of her own. She’s an authority. Operating room nurse Jess seconded the idea. Between the two of them advocating, it needed to happen.
Somehow for the last 23 years, as a man with short hair, I’d always considered a rinse with water or peroxide to be sufficient to clean a patient’s scalp and hair …
The pandemic has not been kind to mental health. We’re all feeling the impact of the last year and all that changed in how we live our lives. While rates of anxiety and depression in the U.S. jumped as people isolated themselves from friends and family to stay safe from COVID-19, there is at least one silver lining when it comes to mental health – the number …
Since I was a child, I have been plagued by words and thoughts (spoken and unspoken) that said, “You are not good enough.” I remember this very vividly as I walked into my new school as a fourth-grader in rural Ohio. I was so excited to start a new school, as I had always enjoyed learning.
As I walked into this elementary school, something felt vastly different. I quickly realized that …
Interviewing for medical schools was intense, excruciating, and terrifying. Despite the difficult questions, there are three that stand out to me. The first was to differentiate sympathy from empathy, where I spent 30 minutes defending my answer to be met with complete silence. He could have asked me anything, yet he sat in silence for almost my entire interview and asked me to explain emotional differences between two incredibly similar …
To be the best healers possible for others, we have to show compassion for and take care of ourselves.
I wrote a previous article published in KevinMD titled, “Self-care is not selfish: It’s imperative to save the practice of medicine.”
Self-care includes doing no harm to yourself.
During our medical training, many habits and thought patterns were deeply ingrained. These thought patterns, while they may have been helpful in …
“My whole world has changed, but my workplace’s expectations haven’t. I am paying twice as much for childcare and caring for my children’s mental health needs on top of my normal job. This has been going on for a year, but expectations for my performance in the workplace haven’t changed.”.
“I was watching an old home movie of my son’s baptism with my seven-year-old when he turned to me in horror, …
I am sure that I have post-litigation stress disorder. It does not actually exist yet as a recognized disorder, but I definitely have it.
You know what else? Countless other physicians have it too.
We don’t talk about it. Besides the fact that lawyers forbid you to speak of ongoing litigation to anyone, especially colleagues, there is such a culture of shame surrounding this subject. Although we now live in a world …
In 2019, we (authors SM, LC) initiated a research study on the experience of care partners of people with Parkinson’s disease psychosis (PDP). Among other activities, participants wrote a letter to their care recipient’s doctor to the prompt: “Understanding that you know the most about this person, specifically their PD psychosis because you likely spend the most time with them (certainly more time than the doctor gets to spend with …
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I was on inpatient service and had already seen most of the patients on my list. I just had to see one more before I could call it a day and rush out just in time to take my daughter to her tennis lesson. I reviewed the patient’s chart to find out that her cancer had spread to her spine, which had incapacitated her to the point that she could …
I am a palliative care physician in a hospital in our nation’s capital region. Like most urban hospitals, ours has been hit particularly hard by the COVID-19 pandemic. My colleagues and I are exhausted and emotionally devastated. We are not alone. Yesterday I learned a friend of mine from medical school, a selfless and compassion-driven emergency medicine physician in Los Angeles, died by suicide. Before the pandemic, between 300 to …
One of our most talented residents committed suicide during my psychiatric training. I remember relaxing with him in a VA hospital call room several months before his death, laughing together at some of the idiosyncrasies of our unit attending.
He opened up to me about his doubt in his choice in psychiatry and how he was considering a transfer into internal medicine. Having made the opposite transition just months before, I …
I was trained in delivering bad news.
I knew what to expect.
I knew the questions that would come.
I have learned the stages of grief.
More importantly, I had done this before many times in the past 15 years.
This is my job and my responsibility, I told myself.
I got to work earlier than usual, diffused some comforting essential oils, and did my routine 10-minute morning meditation. Then I slowly sipped my tea and …
In a moment of caffeine-depleted delirium, I volunteered to head the creation of a “notes committee” for my 80-member hospitalist group.
I placed myself on a 72-hour hold and quickly established a group consensus: “Bloated notes are a huge problem and a time suck. I’m glad you [rather than me] are working on this. My notes are fine, though. It’s other people’s notes that are bad. Other people’s bad notes are …
During this pandemic, do we blame people for acquiring COVID or do we empathize?
I wonder this as I read a message from my senior, who mentions that people are suffering or in isolation due to COVID because of their own negligence.
My mind reflects back on all the dying doctors who caught the infection while treating the virus. And then, there was the ophthalmologist in Wuhan who diagnosed the virus, the …
An excerpt from Love Is the Strongest Medicine: Notes from a Cancer Doctor on Connection, Creativity, and Compassion.
For nearly two decades, I’ve been telling my oncology patients, with only a little irony, Welcome to your new normal. There’s no getting around the fact that a cancer diagnosis—for you or someone you love—is life-changing. Sometimes those changes are temporary (even …
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