Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Breaking free from denial: Embracing the truth

Debbie Moore-Black, RN
Conditions
April 21, 2024
Share
Tweet
Share

I understand it well. You persuade yourself that everything is fine. And then you persuade others that your marriage is perfect.

You’re facing a terminal illness, but you’re the exception because it surely can’t happen to you.

You’re in poor health with unexplained aches and pains, but you avoid visiting your doctors, instead praying to Jesus to alleviate your pain. To heal you of whatever it might be.

Denial. I was a workhorse. Three children to provide for, always desiring the best for them, while their father, despite his high education, chose to work for minimum wage. Meanwhile, his wife (me) worked 60 hours a week. But he was considered a “great” father. I excelled at pretending everything was fine, often facing gaslighting, neglect, disrespect, and being trapped in a verbally abusive marriage. Yet, it all seemed perfect in the photographs we shared on social media, slowly coming to terms with his multiple infidelities.

The acknowledgment that I would live my life through my children, all the while knowing I was in a miserable marriage.

Denial. His cancer. Affecting the pancreas, liver, lungs, and lymph nodes. His surgeon and oncologist fed into his denial — “You’ll live another six years” — and my husband insisted on “doing everything” as I drove him to oncologists, surgeons, chemotherapy, palliative care, therapists, all while working night shifts and overtime.

Denial. Every day brought a new ache, a new pain. Her back, her bones, her chest, her unusual swelling in her neck, hands, and feet. Constantly on social media, yet not taking action. Not visiting her physician, but asking her friends for prayers. Waiting for a miracle from Jesus that never arrived.

Denial. The nurse arrives at work late, disheveled, with bruises along her arms. “I ran into the walls. I fell. It’s not him. It’s me. I’m clumsy.” Verbal abuse from her husband quickly turned into physical abuse.

And the list of denials is endless. And so is denial itself. It is not until you acknowledge the truth to yourself and then to others.

Denial serves as a defense mechanism to cope with the truth. It involves ignoring the reality of a situation to avoid anxiety, anger, and the truth. To shield yourself from the harshness of reality.

Through therapy with a licensed therapist, you can confront the truth. By breaking down the barriers of denial and being truthful with yourself and your circumstances.

It’s said, “The truth will set you free.” Liberate yourself. You deserve to live in truth.

Debbie Moore-Black is a nurse who blogs at Do Not Resuscitate.

ADVERTISEMENT

Prev

Sham peer reviews [PODCAST]

April 20, 2024 Kevin 0
…
Next

The greatest story you never tell: It's yours

April 21, 2024 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: Psychiatry

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Sham peer reviews [PODCAST]
Next Post >
The greatest story you never tell: It's yours

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Debbie Moore-Black, RN

  • What money can’t fix: the scars left by a friend

    Debbie Moore-Black, RN
  • A retired ICU nurse’s brunch conversation sparks a life-changing moment

    Debbie Moore-Black, RN
  • Wisdom for new nurses: lessons from a 30-year ICU veteran

    Debbie Moore-Black, RN

Related Posts

  • A comic reveals the terrifying truth about fentanyl

    Emily Watters, MD
  • AI’s role in streamlining colorectal cancer screening [PODCAST]

    The Podcast by KevinMD
  • Hormone replacement therapy is still linked to cancer

    Martha Rosenberg
  • The truth about Caribbean medical schools

    Jessica K. Willett, MD
  • Pandemic aftermath: Navigating a new normal in health, education, and social dynamics

    Susan Levenstein, MD
  • Breaking the silence within the medical profession

    M. Asad Khalid, MD

More in Conditions

  • Why doctors must stop ignoring unintentional weight loss in patients with obesity

    Samantha Malley, FNP-C
  • Why hospitals are quietly capping top doctors’ pay

    Dennis Hursh, Esq
  • Why point-of-care ultrasound belongs in emergency department triage

    Resa E. Lewiss, MD and Courtney M. Smalley, MD
  • Why PSA levels alone shouldn’t define your prostate cancer risk

    Martina Ambardjieva, MD, PhD
  • Reframing chronic pain and dignity: What a pain clinic teaches us about MAiD and chronic suffering

    Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD
  • America’s ER crisis: Why the system is collapsing from within

    Kristen Cline, BSN, RN
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why timing, not surgery, determines patient survival

      Michael Karch, MD | Conditions
    • Why health care leaders fail at execution—and how to fix it

      Dave Cummings, RN | Policy
    • How digital tools are reshaping the doctor-patient relationship

      Vineet Vishwanath | Tech
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • The hidden health risks in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act

      Trevor Lyford, MPH | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Why doctors must stop ignoring unintentional weight loss in patients with obesity

      Samantha Malley, FNP-C | Conditions
    • Why more doctors are choosing direct care over traditional health care

      Grace Torres-Hodges, DPM, MBA | Physician
    • Why hospitals are quietly capping top doctors’ pay

      Dennis Hursh, Esq | Conditions
    • Why point-of-care ultrasound belongs in emergency department triage

      Resa E. Lewiss, MD and Courtney M. Smalley, MD | Conditions
    • Why point-of-care ultrasound belongs in every emergency department triage [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why PSA levels alone shouldn’t define your prostate cancer risk

      Martina Ambardjieva, MD, PhD | Conditions

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 1 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why timing, not surgery, determines patient survival

      Michael Karch, MD | Conditions
    • Why health care leaders fail at execution—and how to fix it

      Dave Cummings, RN | Policy
    • How digital tools are reshaping the doctor-patient relationship

      Vineet Vishwanath | Tech
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • Why are medical students turning away from primary care? [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Why “do no harm” might be harming modern medicine

      Sabooh S. Mubbashar, MD | Physician
    • The hidden health risks in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act

      Trevor Lyford, MPH | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Why doctors must stop ignoring unintentional weight loss in patients with obesity

      Samantha Malley, FNP-C | Conditions
    • Why more doctors are choosing direct care over traditional health care

      Grace Torres-Hodges, DPM, MBA | Physician
    • Why hospitals are quietly capping top doctors’ pay

      Dennis Hursh, Esq | Conditions
    • Why point-of-care ultrasound belongs in emergency department triage

      Resa E. Lewiss, MD and Courtney M. Smalley, MD | Conditions
    • Why point-of-care ultrasound belongs in every emergency department triage [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why PSA levels alone shouldn’t define your prostate cancer risk

      Martina Ambardjieva, MD, PhD | Conditions

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Breaking free from denial: Embracing the truth
1 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...