As a physician, I’ve spent years working to provide care that’s compassionate and focused on the patient. But everything changed when I found myself on the other side of the system—as a patient. Suddenly, I saw health care through a new lens, one that revealed cracks I hadn’t fully understood before.

What I went through opened my eyes to the real risks patients face, especially those from marginalized communities. It was a wake-up call, showing me how much work still needs to be done to make health care safer, fairer, and more empathetic for everyone.

Here are five things I learned during my journey as a patient—lessons that I hope will inspire changes in how we approach care.

1. We need to see the whole person

One of the most frustrating things I experienced was the lack of understanding around diversity in clinical care. For example, symptoms like rashes or skin discoloration can show up differently on darker skin tones, but many providers aren’t trained to recognize that. A recent study revealed that 78.7 percent of medical students felt their learning resources on skin diversity were inadequate. Furthermore, after attending a seminar on skin conditions in patients with skin of color (SoC), 87.2 percent of students admitted they lacked confidence in diagnosing these conditions, citing inadequate curriculum coverage as the main reason.

On top of that, my health baseline was different because of my personal wellness practices, but that didn’t seem to matter. Instead of tailoring their approach to my unique situation, some providers relied on generic standards that didn’t fit me.

What I learned: Health care needs to do better at seeing people as individuals. Medical training has to include the full spectrum of patient experiences, from diverse ethnicities to varying health baselines.

2. Moms know their kids—listen to them

As both a mom and a doctor, I know how important it is to trust maternal instincts. But during my own experience, I felt ignored and dismissed when I tried to advocate for myself or my family. It was frustrating and disheartening.

In my practice, I remind parents—especially mothers—to speak up because they know their children better than anyone. Health care providers need to remember this too.

What I learned: When a mother or caregiver raises a concern, take it seriously. Their insights can make all the difference in providing timely and effective care.

3. Lack of experience can cause real harm

One of the hardest moments during my pregnancy happened when I went into early threatened labor. My IV for pain relief stopped working, and the nurse on duty refused to replace it. She told me she wasn’t comfortable placing an IV on brown skin.

I was left in pain, untreated, for over eight hours until a nurse of color came in and fixed it. Eight hours.

This wasn’t just about her skill level—it was about a deeper issue of bias and inadequate training. Research indicates that racial bias contributes to significant delays in treatment for Black patients, who are 40 percent less likely to receive proper pain management compared to white patients.

What I learned: Providers need both clinical competence and cultural awareness. If someone feels unprepared, health care systems must provide the necessary training and support so patients aren’t left to suffer.

4. Pain is real—don’t ignore it

Towards the end of my C-section, I started to feel everything. I screamed over and over that I was in pain, but no one stopped. They just kept going. That experience left a lasting scar—not just physically, but emotionally too.

Sadly, I know I’m not alone in this. Studies have shown that women and people of color are often dismissed when they report pain.

What I learned: Pain is personal, but it’s always valid. Listening to patients and believing them should be non-negotiable in health care.

5. A simple apology matters

Throughout my time as a patient, there were so many moments when a simple “I’m sorry” could have made all the difference. But those moments never came.

Mistakes happen. We’re all human. But when health care providers fail to acknowledge those mistakes—or worse, act like they didn’t happen—it breaks the trust between patient and provider.

What I learned: Saying “I’m sorry” isn’t hard, but it’s powerful. It shows patients they matter, that their pain matters, and that someone sees them as a person, not just a case.

Where do we go from here?

My time as a patient opened my eyes to how much work we still need to do to make health care the safe, inclusive, and compassionate space it should be. We can’t fix these problems overnight, but here’s where we can start:

• Better training: Medical education must prioritize teaching providers how to care for diverse patients with skill and respect.
• More empathy: Listening to patients with compassion, especially when they’re in pain, should be a core part of care—not an afterthought.
• Addressing bias: Implicit and explicit biases need to be tackled head-on with training, accountability, and honest conversations.
• Empowering patients: Every patient deserves to feel confident that their voice will be heard and their concerns taken seriously.

Looking ahead

As painful as my experiences were, they gave me a deeper understanding of what patients go through—and a stronger resolve to push for change. Health care systems are beginning to recognize their flaws, and while progress is slow, it’s happening.

Creating a truly inclusive, compassionate system will take effort from all of us—providers, patients, and policymakers alike. But I believe it’s possible. By prioritizing cultural competency, empathy, and patient voices, we can build a future where everyone feels safe, heard, and valued in their most vulnerable moments.

Tomi Mitchell is a board-certified family physician and certified health and wellness coach with extensive experience in clinical practice and holistic well-being. She is also an acclaimed international keynote speaker and a passionate advocate for mental health and physician well-being. She leverages over a decade of private practice experience to drive meaningful change.

Dr. Mitchell is the founder of Holistic Wellness Strategies, where she empowers individuals through comprehensive, evidence-based approaches to well-being. Her career is dedicated to transforming lives by addressing personal challenges and enhancing relationships with practical, holistic strategies.

Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn, and book a discovery call to explore how she can support your wellness journey. For those interested in purchasing her book, please click here for the payment link. Check out her YouTube channel for more insights and valuable content on mental health and well-being.