Anonymous

These articles are written by anonymous clinicians. They have been selected and edited by Kevin Pho, MD.

One can’t always assume congratulations are in order

Anonymous

Conditions

August 29, 2021

“Congratulations on losing that much weight! Whatever you’re doing, keep it up,” my attending says as she bobs her head vigorously in approval, then turning back to the EMR computer to type up some notes.

And all I could see was the patient slightly shifting on the exam table, their face smiling — but their whole body seemingly screaming discomfort and dismay.

Before my attending sailed into the room, the patient told …

Putting my kid back in school: the right decision for this pediatrician

Anonymous

Physician

August 22, 2021

As a parent who also happens to be a hospital-based pediatrician, lots of people have asked me my opinion on back to school and/or daycare.

I am sharing my thoughts. I’m only one person. These are just my thoughts. Feel free to take what is helpful to you and trash the rest. It won’t hurt my feelings.

I think it’s important to frame this conversation by stating loudly and clearly that there …

Trauma: Encountering the past in the present

Anonymous

Education

July 25, 2021

“Code blue!” the overhead speaker blared.

I had just started my shift in the pediatric emergency department. “This will be good for you to see,” the off-service junior resident said to me, as she sprang up from her chair in Pavlovian fashion. With a surge of adrenaline, I blindly followed a group of nurses and physicians towards the trauma case that had just rolled in.

I eventually ended up in a crowded …

A resignation letter to my patients: How do I leave you well?

Anonymous

Conditions

July 14, 2021

Before I walk into clinic, I already know their response if I submitted my resignation letter today.

I hear it monthly from multiple patients who have no reason to believe I’m leaving: “You aren’t going to leave too, are you?” “It took us years to get here after the last doctor left.” “Please promise me if you move on, you will let me know where you go.”

They have baseline trauma from …

Let the mourning wear black

Anonymous

Physician

July 8, 2021

What a year of change.

A pandemic. Cancer. Death. Loss. Fighting. Abandonment. Pain.

Becoming an orphan. Becoming a caregiver.

My family was hit with a sledgehammer and crushed into pieces. My joyful plans and decades of hard work wiped away with the insidious evil of a 5 x 7 mm tumor that spread like the pandemic, ravaged my mom — stealing her in months.

My hopes and dreams and decades of hard work to …

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Let the mourning wear black

The angel of Angelman syndrome

Anonymous

Conditions

June 30, 2021

If they had asked me to make a wish before I met him, it might have very possibly been for eternal happiness. I’d wish for happiness that floods the air with endless melodies and makes the soul sing, just like how a Disney princess. But I had met him first, and he redefined some of the heart’s most beloved concepts.

His eyes were flickering the way golden rays. His giggle sounded …

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The angel of Angelman syndrome

Surviving medical school with depression

Anonymous

Education

June 27, 2021

I was first diagnosed with major depressive disorder as a preteen after my teenage sister died. I attempted suicide three years later. This would be the first of several attempts and the first of countless times I felt my life was not worth living. But I am not unique.

According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), 1 person dies by suicide every 11 minutes.

My depression is like …

The Pandora’s box of Step 2 CS reporting

Anonymous

Education

June 2, 2021

Introduction

The USMLE Step 2 Clinical Skills (CS) exam was implemented to assess medical students/graduates based on 12 standardized clinical encounters. The exam was graded as pass/fail based on three components: integrative clinical encounter (ICE), communication and interpersonal skills (CIS), and spoken English proficiency (SEP). To receive an overall passing grade, an examinee was required to pass all three components.

Over the years, there have been increasing demands to …

The next impending health crisis for families

Anonymous

Conditions

May 6, 2021

For over a year, I have watched and witnessed the multitude of ways that COVID has ignited crisis after crisis in our country and across the world. At first, the crisis of the unknown and the ill-prepared – we as health care professionals did not know what we were dealing with, nor did we even have the resources to battle it as we watched other areas of the world helpless …

When an attending was canceled by a resident

Anonymous

Physician

April 30, 2021

I am a psychiatrist who volunteers his time on the clinical faculty of the local medical school. This is a role I have valued over the years that has allowed me to give back and mentor young residents as my senior colleagues did for me during my training.

Recently, I had a chilling experience that has caused concern and pause. I was supervising a first-year resident who was presenting a patient …

Moral injury in medical school

Anonymous

Education

March 27, 2021

I’ve been searching for a way to describe my experience as a third-year medical student until recently, when I stumbled upon two new terms: moral injury and emotional labor. Moral injury is a phrase coined to describe an insult to a person’s moral conscience or values. It happens as a result of actions that transgress his or her “deeply held moral beliefs and expectations.” It was originally used to describe …

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Moral injury in medical school

How can we encourage doctors to come home and serve well?

Anonymous

Physician

March 24, 2021

I write this from the Midwestern United States. My home. A generally underserved region.

I’m a young doctor near the end of my training. My generation, I think it’s safe to say, has in large part bought into the general process of medical education, the natural progression through training, and the accompanying stressors and debts that are a typical part of the experience. Burn out, they say, is at an all-time …

When the teen with depression and anxiety is yours

Anonymous

Conditions

March 17, 2021

Every week, I see a teen with depression and/or anxiety. Sometimes that teen is mine.

And while I can certainly opine over the lack of mental health resources for our children and teens — you have to be a certain age, you have to have certain insurances, if you’re uninsured or underinsured, you can see a community health professional but only for eight sessions — what I really get frustrated with …

When your future steals your present

Anonymous

Physician

March 12, 2021

My whole life has been leaping from one goal to the next. As far back as I can remember, I always had goals. Later in life, after practicing for a while, academic and career goals shifted to financial goals. But goals nonetheless. I never gave myself a chance to not have any goals, to just chill. I regret it. Good things come to those who wait, right? Always planning for …

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When your future steals your present

How financial independence evolution shaped the end of my medical career

Anonymous

Finance

March 1, 2021

When I read The Broke Diaries, it was like reading my financial autobiography in medical school. I remember negotiating with the dry-cleaner to split my bill so that I could only pay for one dress and pick the rest up later. Looking forward to making some furniture craft for my apartment on Spring break while the rest of my classmates were going to some exotic Island …

In the emergency department: Patients ravaged by mental illness

Anonymous

Conditions

February 22, 2021

The emergency department is fast-paced. Full of chaos. Incredible suffering. Frustration. Disappointment. Screams, tears, smiles. Reassurance. Good news. Bad news. Diagnoses. Failure to find a diagnosis. Getting a last-minute cardiac arrest coming in at 650 a.m., ten minutes before the end of your 12-hour, overnight shift – you have the energy and wherewithal to do the task, but to process the life that was lost? To truly realize the dead …

Jealousy and missed opportunities in medicine

Anonymous

Education

February 20, 2021

“Julie” began the telehealth encounter in her car, greeting me with a cheerful smile. The sun glimmered through the driver-side window, illuminating the water spots to sparkle like diamonds.

“How are you doing with your suboxone dose? Do you feel that you need to go up, or are you happy with your current dose?” I asked.

“Everything is going great,” she said. “I feel no cravings – only some constipation. Otherwise, everything …

The attack in Buffalo, Minnesota: a primary care physician’s perspective

Anonymous

Physician

February 10, 2021

You might be next.

I began my career as a family physician in Buffalo, MN in 2002. I have been an extremely productive doctor for 20 years. For context, I can assure the reader that my ratings and reviews are excellent, and I speak to the common primary care experience. I was a very green attending when I showed up in Buffalo for my first attending job. …

Instead of comparing, let’s nurture the next generation of physicians

Anonymous

Education

February 1, 2021

Years and years ago, everyone always walked up a mountain of snow and ice barefoot while dragging a carriage behind them to get to school, and their stethoscopes were made of bamboo. They were hard, hard times, and it was a time-honored tradition to hear the talk from our attendings about how hard training used to be and always elicited an internal groan. The follow up refrain frequently heard in …

A physician’s story of sexual harassment

Anonymous

Physician

January 27, 2021

Like many surgical specialties, the one I was aspiring to is a male-dominated field. As such, all my colleagues were male, and I often felt as though I was trying to be a part of a boy’s club. I shed my intrinsic femininity and instead equipped myself with diplomacy, banter, a light-hearted attitude, and contagious enthusiasm.

I knew nothing about the footy, and I hated beer, but I was witty, I …