The following article is satire.

“These are the times that try men’s souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.”
– Thomas Paine

Happy holidays as we continue our long walk with COVID. A unique walk where each new step is only half as long as the last. Always getting closer, always moving forward, but never actually arriving. Like that binge-worthy series you never want to end. A moment so special you want to freeze it in time.

As we approach the two-year checkpoint, many of our hospitals are once again filling with the virus’s most loyal customers. Admissions are up. ICU overbookings are so bountiful, they could leave any airline green with envy. Call these loyal customers, these patients, whatever you want. These people steadfastly refuse to get vaccinated. Feel the frustration, unleash your anger, let that burnout simmer. But this message isn’t about them, and it’s not about you. It’s about those patients you don’t see, the ones you haven’t met, the rugged few, the elite, the True Believers.

But who are these True Believers? What does it take to become one? Think you have what it takes?

If you truly believe that COVID is just another flu, that science is silly, that the vaccine is a conspiratorial threat to your freedom and safety, don’t be a sunshine patriot! When times get tough, and you get COVID, dig in, hold fast to your beliefs, and don’t falter. Stay home, pray about it, seek guidance on social media, or embrace alternative medicine. Do whatever it takes, but don’t go to the hospital whatever you do. Hospitals are for quitters. True believers never quit, so please stay away. If you can’t suck it up and stay strong, if you let weakness creep in, you’re just another AVINO (anti-vax in name only).

Don’t be an AVINO, be a hero.

The author is an anonymous physician.

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